H
h4nah4ki
Member
- Aug 13, 2024
- 5
a few months ago my dad was really drunk. he started to cry to me, apologizing for not being a good father. he told me that he feels like everyone is going to leave him.
he made me promise to him that i would never leave him. and i think that making that promise hurt a lot, because i am planning to leave him and everyone.
the only time he acknowledges my existence is when everyone around him leaves. i cant deal with the guilt of leaving him alone.
i know a lot of people who would kill themselves if i left. i hate caring about other people, its such a burden. i just want to be free.
today one of my closest online friends confessed their love for me. to note, i have supposedly saved this friend from committing suicide many times in the past. if i were to leave them, especially after finding out that they had feelings for me, i wouldnt know how to deal with the guilt.
every day i cant find a reason to wake up. i only live so people dont deal with the burden of me not existing. they'll only really care once i'm dead.
i want to die. i want to be free from this endless pain. i have no hope for the future, ive never dated before, i dont have any real friends, im sick and tired of it all.
i dont want to grow up anymore. i just want to die without guilt.
how can i do that?
he made me promise to him that i would never leave him. and i think that making that promise hurt a lot, because i am planning to leave him and everyone.
the only time he acknowledges my existence is when everyone around him leaves. i cant deal with the guilt of leaving him alone.
i know a lot of people who would kill themselves if i left. i hate caring about other people, its such a burden. i just want to be free.
today one of my closest online friends confessed their love for me. to note, i have supposedly saved this friend from committing suicide many times in the past. if i were to leave them, especially after finding out that they had feelings for me, i wouldnt know how to deal with the guilt.
every day i cant find a reason to wake up. i only live so people dont deal with the burden of me not existing. they'll only really care once i'm dead.
i want to die. i want to be free from this endless pain. i have no hope for the future, ive never dated before, i dont have any real friends, im sick and tired of it all.
i dont want to grow up anymore. i just want to die without guilt.
how can i do that?