I don’t know about my future

[Fire&Ash]

I don't know why but I'm obsessed with the idea that a college degree will help me with being independent. I don't have one. I'm 24 and I feel like I will struggle so much soon. I have such huge gaps in my resume and I quit my job yesterday because I couldn't do it anymore. I can't hold a job more than a couple months I hate it. I have no motivation for anything and I feel like I'm only doing the bare minimum like paying bills and doing house chores. I love with my sister and she own the house and I know I will never be independent. I can barely take care of myself al I do is daydream (maladaptive daydreaming) and I don't learn anything well I'm a slow learner no matter how hard I work. I think I have learning difficulties because I'm 3 months premature. I just have no idea what kind of future I will have if this goes on. I hate myself so much. I don't think I can ever shape up. I'm already struggling with barely doing anything. I'll never be independent. Own a home or even have an apartment especially when I see people who do have careers who still struggle what hope is there for me. I can't learn subjects well, for some reason I dont know how to cook, I always give up in everything, I have no friends, my family is dysfunctional, I only know how to daydream and I can't focus. How the heck and I going to shape up if I can't focus what is there to even live for? Someone please help me or relate to me somehow

 

[iDieUDie80]

Depression and mental illness often bring us to this mindset, where we feel intense doubts about the future, are overly critical about ourselves and criticize our shortcomings. I empathize with your situation, however, personally I don't feel it to be impossible. When you express thoughts such as, "I'll never be independent", and refuse to believe anything else, try to thought-challenge. Write down your negative, catastrophizing and contemptuous thoughts and provide for yourself a reason as to why it isn't true, or could be untrue. The truth is absolutely none of us know what the future holds; it's impossible. Uncertainty is an extremely difficult thing to come to terms with (believe me I know, I have OCD).

As far as what you have to live for. Analyze why you're still here now. What joys, no matter how simple in life, do you take pleasure in occasionally? What thoughts arise when you consider the consequences of your death? What has prevented you from ending your life?

Hope you get through this, and there's never any shame in seeking the help of others. I believe you can do it. Best of luck.

 

[JoeFailure]

I know it's easier said than done and you've probably been told this...but you're still really young and you've figured out one of your biggest issues. I didn't realize I was a maladaptive daydreamer and that I had ADHD/OCD and learning issues until last year when I was 34. And yeah, I don't have a house or relationship or really an established career. I bounced around a lot of different jobs in life.

There are things you can do to help with this. I've just started to microdose with shrooms and it's working OK so far. There's lots of supplements that can help too.

On the other side, there's lots of videos on Youtube for people with learning disabilities and other mental issues. I'm not saying any one of them can be a fix, but some could certainly help. Is there anything in particular that you'd be interested in? There's some companies that have really good training programs and there's also career counseling and mentorships.

Everyone's different so I have no idea what you're going through and how your case might be different than mine...but I hope you don't feel like a letdown at age 24. You're still a baby!

 

[Fire&Ash]

I know it's easier said than done and you've probably been told this...but you're still really young and you've figured out one of your biggest issues. I didn't realize I was a maladaptive daydreamer and that I had ADHD/OCD and learning issues until last year when I was 34. And yeah, I don't have a house or relationship or really an established career. I bounced around a lot of different jobs in life.

There are things you can do to help with this. I've just started to microdose with shrooms and it's working OK so far. There's lots of supplements that can help too.

On the other side, there's lots of videos on Youtube for people with learning disabilities and other mental issues. I'm not saying any one of them can be a fix, but some could certainly help. Is there anything in particular that you'd be interested in? There's some companies that have really good training programs and there's also career counseling and mentorships.

Everyone's different so I have no idea what you're going through and how your case might be different than mine...but I hope you don't feel like a letdown at age 24. You're still a baby!

I think I've been on 6 different medications I feel like if medicine isn't helping i don't know what will. I heard of microdosing lsd but I got no clue how to get any I doubt a doctor would give it lol. I'm not sure what my learning disability is I've tried researching it before but all I know is that I don't understand the concepts, like I'll read something or hear something and I don't process it. It's a daily thing so trying to study a book feels impossible. What keeps you here on earth?

 

[so tired or manic]

I think I've been on 6 different medications I feel like if medicine isn't helping i don't know what will. I heard of microdosing lsd but I got no clue how to get any I doubt a doctor would give it lol. I'm not sure what my learning disability is I've tried researching it before but all I know is that I don't understand the concepts, like I'll read something or hear something and I don't process it. It's a daily thing so trying to study a book feels impossible. What keeps you here on earth?

if you happen to find a doctor for the lsd be sure to tell this guy.

does listening absorb better than reading? sometimes it's a matter of finding different ways to learn.

 

[Fire&Ash]

No it's like one ear out the other I hear words but I don't comprehend it. It's not just it being new, I've had teachers and other people try to explain topics to and I still don't understand it's like a foreign language

 

[so tired or manic]

my brother has a thing where what he hears doesn't always translate to words (he says "what" a lot), but he can learn through reading. maybe it's a similar processing thing, just more complex. sorry I can't offer more options.

e: Google tells me it's called auditory processing disorder

 

[Fire&Ash]

my brother has a thing where what he hears doesn't always translate to words (he says "what" a lot), but he can learn through reading. maybe it's a similar processing thing, just more complex. sorry I can't offer more options.

e: Google tells me it's called auditory processing disorder

Ya probably something like that

 

[Intheo]

You shouldn't worry so much about a college degree, depending on where you are. My degree has been largely worthless and all it really is is a piece of paper that many employers require for some reason. It doesn't actually help you do the job though so if they hired someone without a degree, it wouldn't actually make a difference.

I would say you should focus on building an actual skill. A good example of this is programming or mechanical engineering or pharmaceuticals. A degree would help in some fields, but in some others like programming, it's really about how well you actually program. Someone who never went to college could pick it up and build an impressive portfolio. This is why I like programming; you need to build a portfolio and do a code test to get hired so it really doesn't matter what school you went to or what cert you have because you have to actually prove you can do the job. In most fields, the employer is taking a gamble on you by assuming you're good for the job based on past experience and qualifications.

For some fields, it's hard to get the knowledge or prove you have the knowledge without a degree. For example if you want to be a doctor or a NASA physicist.

You should think hard about what it is that you want to do. Don't go to college if you don't know what to do and end up getting an absolutely useless degree like English Lit or Art History or some other bullshit. You'll have wasted your time and money you could've spent doing something actually useful. You'd be better going to a trade school to learn plumbing or electrical wiring or something.

 

[so tired or manic]

people are always pushing go to college, get a degree, don't be a plumber, gross! what they don't tell you is the plumber makes more than them.

 

[Fire&Ash]

Well I've always suspected I might have ADHD but without the hyper ness and only the attentiveness. I made an appointment, did the tests, and did a follow up this morning with the psychologist. I was disappointed and really disheartened when he said I don't have it, but there is an low score with the audio concentration part. He did suggest a take a stimulant so idk if it will help. But I was sad because I thought "finally maybe I'll be normal" and I don't think I will be. And I honestly have no clue how to fix myself because it looks like I'm doing nothing and that I'm lazy. If I can't handle my own brain and job, how am I going to handle life things that other people do? I don't think I'm going to be ok
Also I called my mom she said to lie a bunch and apply for disability checks. That's all she ever tells me to do is apply for disability. I did apply once on the basis of severe depression, plantar faschiitis, and osteopenia, but I was denied. I researched that a lot of people who should qualify for disability just don't get it so idk my mom doesn't understand. She gets her dumb info from her sister in another country thinking I apply to it all. I wish it were that easy. And I don't think I'll be happy with accepting the checks either because I feel like a freeloader but I'm not improving in any way either so I'm just always angry at myself. Yay

 

[Huntfish34]

I relate to what you've said....A Lot. Will comment more later,. Have many things to say

 

[so tired or manic]

disability denies most people. the idea is that if you appeal the denial you must need it more than they thought. the people who don't reaaallly need it aren't going to appeal. flawed logic, but we're talking government here.

 

[Jojo81]

people are always pushing go to college, get a degree, don't be a plumber, gross! what they don't tell you is the plumber makes more than them.

And that they are self employed. Don't have to worry about getting fired. Etc...

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

My life is a mess too. My fam is dysfunctional,i have no friends,have terrible mental and physical health issues,can't hold a job. It is a nightmare.
Feel for u.

 

[Squiddy]

I also suck at life and don't know how to do basic things like start a dishwasher. I think I might have a learning disability myself, but can't get in anywhere because everyone is doing virtual and I wanna see someone in person. One of my main reasons for wanting to ctb.