icantandiwont
Member
- Nov 15, 2022
- 12
Hi. I'm fairly new here. I don't know how exactly i came across this site but I'm glad I did.
I've been suicidal since i was ten/eleven. I don't have any memories of myself growing up. I feel like a zombie 90% of the time. I hate existing. I hate acknowledging the fact that I exist. I don't enjoy doing anything anymore. I recently lost someone who understood me better than anybody else. All I ever think about is death and dying. I can't cry. I can't feel anything anymore. Everything just sucks.
I miss the days when i used to believe in love. At least then I had something to hold onto. I don't want to be alive anymore and I'm okay with that. And I'm also okay with the possibility that everything might turn out alright one day.
I'm honestly tired of trying. Trying to stay alive, positive and happy. I want to go home. And by home I don't mean the brick building I live in. I mean the home that comes before this one. Before I was born.
I have a plan and I'm almost ready to execute it.
Knowing that I have a way out makes me feel at peace.
I've been suicidal since i was ten/eleven. I don't have any memories of myself growing up. I feel like a zombie 90% of the time. I hate existing. I hate acknowledging the fact that I exist. I don't enjoy doing anything anymore. I recently lost someone who understood me better than anybody else. All I ever think about is death and dying. I can't cry. I can't feel anything anymore. Everything just sucks.
I miss the days when i used to believe in love. At least then I had something to hold onto. I don't want to be alive anymore and I'm okay with that. And I'm also okay with the possibility that everything might turn out alright one day.
I'm honestly tired of trying. Trying to stay alive, positive and happy. I want to go home. And by home I don't mean the brick building I live in. I mean the home that comes before this one. Before I was born.
I have a plan and I'm almost ready to execute it.
Knowing that I have a way out makes me feel at peace.