I dont have a life and I am not ashamed because of it

[Snake of Eden]

Many people try shaming others for not having a life. For me it was one of my douchebag ex's when they realized that I dont have much going on for me financially or socially they were trying to make me feel less by saying things like how could you be like this and how come you dont have this or that. I dont know because I wasnt really trying to hide anything from you and once the novelty of being infatuated with me wore off that you were able to see these aspects of me that you werent able to see before?! That makes you the stupid one and not me. I didnt choose to struggle and I didnt choose to be viewed as socially inept and awkward. I am who I am and I will never apologize for that. Who else doesnt have a life?

 

[som1]

I don't have a life or passion or a hoppy. I also have a weak timid personality. I don't even speak anymore lol but I don't care and I don't want to change.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I don't have friends, I'm pretty much unnoticed IRL, I'm shy and stupid, dumb as bricks, ugly and poor, always anxious, most of my life sat at home and tried to take my mind off the horrors of existence by doing dumb shit which doesn't help me anymore.
Definitely was the loser of the classroom in middle and high school, and even during the little time in university.

So yeah, I don't really care about it anymore. I don't have the energy left to worry over this bullshit too.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I haven't had a life in years. Gotta love sitting at Christmas dinner with nothing new to say. I'd be more ok with it if I weren't starting to struggle financially.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not have a life, I do not live, I just exist. My existence is very empty and pointless, it is just passing time until I fall asleep. I do not want any kind of life, all I want is to not exist. I am not meant for this world at all.

 

[Sanva]

haven't had a life in a long time. i still feel like a loser for that, and ironically it makes me want to talk to people even less because they're always weirded out when they find out i spend all my time by myself and don't have anything going on

 

[chocolatebar]

I never lived...
When I realized and faced this condition, I've been trying to live something, but not much changed

 

[demuic]

Today is my birthday and all I did was order some food. Everyday is the same for me. I don't like it but there's not much for me to do in life. I don't what things other people do all day. In the end, everything's just a distraction and doesn't amount to much, and will be gone eventually.

 

[WonderingSoul]

I definitely don't have one, even when I try to. I just never win when it comes to stuff like that. I just spend most of my free time playing old video games or I'd like to go outside where there aren't much people around. People just don't like to be around me.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I actively have no life, it's a lot of effort trying to keep myself from having one but it's worth it because I don't deserve one.

 

[Life sucks]

Life = No Life

I have No Life

 

[TooConscious]

Today is my birthday and all I did was order some food. Everyday is the same for me. I don't like it but there's not much for me to do in life. I don't what things other people do all day. In the end, everything's just a distraction and doesn't amount to much, and will be gone eventually.

I had a big zero recently and did nothing. No irl'friends' sent a happy birthday message r even a new year. Even though I don't have the sort of friends who bother with that stuff I do make the effort to keep in mind as I know it can be a bad day for some people. I can't get ay lower so it didn't bother me but it did make me realize my friends care less than I knew they already did. All the best to you.

 

[GentleJerk]

They shouldn't be shaming you or others for 'not having a life'. It's not always a choice. And even if it is, they should try to be understanding rather than judgemental. They have no idea what it's really like.

I used to have a life. I was happy, healthy, smart, enjoyed many things. I would grow herbs and rare cacti, garden, skate everyday, loved playing games, studied Japanese, looked after my beautiful daughter, chickens cats and dogs, and everybody else around me. Collected retro games, cooked amazing food every day and night, spent time with friends. You name it. I've had a rough past but life was good.

Then I was poisoned by my friends brother. Suddenly everything changed. My health went to shit. My relationship fell apart. My ability to look after myself and my daughter deteriorated. Slowly things got worse and now I can barely function. Pretty much everything has been taken from me.

All that's left is to either die horribly from my illness soon, or find a way to sort as many loose ends as I can in my life and find the courage to drink my bitter potion without regrets.

 

[ClownMe]

I haven't had a life in ages, my day is spent sleeping or laying in bed, occasionally ill play some video games or watch some TV, but that's pretty much all I ever do. Besides from walking my dog once a night, i never leave the house unless im forced to, im really self conscious and I hate leaving the house.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Then I was poisoned by my friends brother. Suddenly everything changed. My health went to shit. My relationship fell apart. My ability to look after myself and my daughter deteriorated. Slowly things got worse and now I can barely function. Pretty much everything has been taken from me.

All that's left is to either die horribly from my illness soon, or find a way to sort as many loose ends as I can in my life and find the courage to drink my bitter potion without regrets.

would you want to share your story? Maybe make a new thread about it? I would like to hear it only if you do like to share.

 

[GentleJerk]

would you want to share your story? Maybe make a new thread about it? I would like to hear it only if you do like to share.

Sure I don't mind sharing my story, but apart from what I just said there isn't really that much more to share.

Had a life, trusted the wrong people, lost it all, tried everything to get better and kept holding out for hope, eventually emailed a certain gentleman not long ago and got my gift for if/when the torture becomes unbearable.

When things took a turn for the worse recently, I made a new thread and mentioned it briefly here https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/we-all-have-our-reasons-ctb.80512/

Obviously there is more to it than just this... Mainly the mental suffering, the many symptoms and problems I had been dealing with before this most recent intestinal failure, and the fruitless efforts since the beginning to fix it that I've left out.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Sure I don't mind sharing my story, but apart from what I just said there isn't really that much more to share.

Had a life, trusted the wrong people, lost it all, tried everything to get better and kept holding out for hope, eventually emailed a certain gentleman not long ago and got my gift for if/when the torture becomes unbearable.

When things took a turn for the worse recently, I made a new thread and mentioned it briefly here https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/we-all-have-our-reasons-ctb.80512/

Obviously there is more to it than just this... Mainly the mental suffering, the many symptoms and problems I had been dealing with before this most recent intestinal failure, and the fruitless efforts since the beginning to fix it that I've left out.

But i am curious about the specifics of the poisoning story. How, why it happened. Again only if you are comfortable to share

 

[back_to_oblivion]

I don't live, I exist. I just feel like an observer in life not a participant. I don't feel connected to anything, I'm just disengaged and apathetic about life, struggle to find motivation for anything. Even the desire to have a life is now gone. It has become hard for me to enjoy anything this world has to offer.

 

[GentleJerk]

But i am curious about the specifics of the poisoning story. How, why it happened. Again only if you are comfortable to share

Yeah sure, it's a bit of a long story but I don't mind sharing some of what happened if you're interested.

Rather than derail your thread too much I've pasted it into my reason for ctb thread, its the latest comment if you scroll down.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/we-all-have-our-reasons-ctb.80512/

 

[Dragon's Heart]

Hmmm. I see life on here. "To be is to be perceived" (George Berkeley) As long as you write on this website and we see it, you exist. OK, maybe life isn't quite what most of us want, but we are here because of a like feeling among us. I have quite a lonely existence, but I don't feel the pain of that so much when I read what is written here. Just sayin'.

 

[Sherri]

I have a life, partner, cat and all of the rest, but i wish I didn't have to see people most days, but I have bills to pay unfortunaly. And I dont plan to live on government paychecks as long as I have a flame of life in me, as little as it is. ive been though a stage inhad no life and I miss those days, a medical leave for months. Could get used to it, unfortunately some people are sick in diffrent ways and they need to get help from anywhere they can. Lost most of my friends when I stopped clubbing and became depressed and then realised I didn't have friends but drinking buddies, and the people who say they will always be there for you are the first ones to ignore me when I most needed.