Venting I don’t find comfort in this website anymore

[FuneralCry]

I just need to say this, in the past this website gave me the slighest bit of comfort in an existence so cruel and painful but sadly now it just makes me feel alone and causes me to feel even more pain, it's sad honestly but that's just the way things are. If you suffer you will just be made to suffer even more and feel worse, if there's anything that makes existing the slightest bit bearable it turns into a bitter disappointment. Humanity truly is an abomination in every way and I know that I don't belong here and never have done, only death can bring me peace from this cruel, hopeless existence and terrible human species.

Existing truly does just get more painful as time goes on and it's so horrible how there's no limit as to how much one can suffer, I don't want to suffer in any way rather I just wish to be at peace for all eternity. At best now this website feels hollow and empty but at worse reminds me of why I wish to be free from this hellish reality so much, it's deeply tragic how there isn't the option to die painlessly for all with unconditional acceptance towards suicide, it's tragic how this website has to exist instead.

 

[dinosavr]

I'm really sorry you feel this way :(
Please remember that no matter what you're more than welcome to share your thoughts and vent whenever you want to. We're here to support each other, for as long as we're trapped on this planet.

 

[OrphicEnd]

I just need to say this, in the past this website gave me the slighest bit of comfort in an existence so cruel and painful but sadly now it just makes me feel alone and causes me to feel even more pain, it's sad honestly but that's just the way things are. If you suffer you will just be made to suffer even more and feel worse, if there's anything that makes existing the slightest bit bearable it turns into a bitter disappointment. Humanity truly is an abomination in every way and I know that I don't belong here and never have done, only death can bring me peace from this cruel, hopeless existence and terrible human species.

Existing truly does just get more painful as time goes on and it's so horrible how there's no limit as to how much one can suffer, I don't want to suffer in any way rather I just wish to be at peace for all eternity. At best now this website feels hollow and empty but at worse reminds me of why I wish to be free from this hellish reality so much, it's deeply tragic how there isn't the option to die painlessly for all with unconditional acceptance towards suicide, it's tragic how this website has to exist instead.

Why not try something different, talk to people, create relationships, even those with difficulties manage to find friends on this site. Why not tell us about yourself for example? You are caught in an infernal circle, you are free to break it. It's not about being prolifer, it's about being human. If you want this, you can start by creating a thread where you explain your story. I think that despite the spewing of hatred you continue to read the responses, because an author always wants to know the opinion of his readers, good or bad. I remember that you had major health problems, how are you now?

 

[Onelegman]

You may spend too much time on this website. It's normal to get upset

 

[black and white]

That's surprising you did feel comfort here in the past. It's a place where people are suffering a lot, try to attempt suicide; vomiting their sufferings and contemplating death...

So you maybe see now what this place really is.... Not really a place to feel fine. Even if you Can create contact with some nice people here, they are suffering a lot, try suicide here and there...

Sorry to say it but i'm not here since long, but not planning to stay too long. It's definitely not a comforting place. I understand it brought you things at a certain Time, to share what you cannot with other people, maybe to have found people with some sufferings, maybe able to understand you. But you're here for four years now. If nothing really built for you from this Time (relationship, way to ctb or way to recover, anything whatever) that's normal you feel this way. Just turning around is boring and in the long terme, brings nothing.
You're ending up a phase that you started when you arrived there. Did the forum change as you Say sometimes? I dont know, wasnt there. But you've had a whole cycle here. So i dont know if it's the end, to leaves definitely; but at least something has changed, and the interest you found long ago has disappeared obviously. The end of a cycle also means a New one is close to arrive.

 

[jonward55]

I just need to say this, in the past this website gave me the slighest bit of comfort in an existence so cruel and painful but sadly now it just makes me feel alone and causes me to feel even more pain, it's sad honestly but that's just the way things are. If you suffer you will just be made to suffer even more and feel worse, if there's anything that makes existing the slightest bit bearable it turns into a bitter disappointment. Humanity truly is an abomination in every way and I know that I don't belong here and never have done, only death can bring me peace from this cruel, hopeless existence and terrible human species.

Existing truly does just get more painful as time goes on and it's so horrible how there's no limit as to how much one can suffer, I don't want to suffer in any way rather I just wish to be at peace for all eternity. At best now this website feels hollow and empty but at worse reminds me of why I wish to be free from this hellish reality so much, it's deeply tragic how there isn't the option to die painlessly for all with unconditional acceptance towards suicide, it's tragic how this website has to exist instead.

Mate, 30,000 posts ? All of them basically say the same. We are here looking for a way to end our means, not rant about it every few mins. You may have chosen the wrong site. I am here to look for information to end it all.
I feel your pain because I just want to die but you just seem to want to vent and complain by opening threads that wind everyone up and then you don't even respond to anyone.

I hope you will find peace but I believe that this may not be the place to find it in your case.

I am about to be thrown on the streets, my debts and mistakes leave me with no other option than to die!

I wish I had the luxury to post here every 5 mins with no end in sight.

Good luck though, but it's all the same same.

 

[Anon1337]

if there's anything that makes existing the slightest bit bearable it turns into a bitter disappointment

 

[skybox]

I see you're still making these posts, I hope you figure it out one day. The internet is not worth the stress

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I hope you find peace soon FC. Existing isn't meant for you at all and I'm sorry that you were born into this harsh world against your consent

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

That's surprising you did feel comfort here in the past. It's a place where people are suffering a lot, try to attempt suicide; vomiting their sufferings and contemplating death...

So you maybe see now what this place really is.... Not really a place to feel fine. Even if you Can create contact with some nice people here, they are suffering a lot, try suicide here and there...

Sorry to say it but i'm not here since long, but not planning to stay too long. It's definitely not a comforting place. I understand it brought you things at a certain Time, to share what you cannot with other people, maybe to have found people with some sufferings, maybe able to understand you. But you're here for four years now. If nothing really built for you from this Time (relationship, way to ctb or way to recover, anything whatever) that's normal you feel this way. Just turning around is boring and in the long terme, brings nothing.
You're ending up a phase that you started when you arrived there. Did the forum change as you Say sometimes? I dont know, wasnt there. But you've had a whole cycle here. So i dont know if it's the end, to leaves definitely; but at least something has changed, and the interest you found long ago has disappeared obviously. The end of a cycle also means a New one is close to arrive.

A lot of people feel comforted here. It's likely (at least in my experience) the only site on the surface web that let's sucidal people actually talk about how we're feeling, in an unusually kind environment at that.

That being said I do understand that FC may not feel that way, considering that some people have been unnecessarily harsh on her.

 

[black and white]

A lot of people feel comforted here. It's likely (at least in my experience) the only site on the surface web that let's sucidal people actually talk about how we're feeling, in an unusually kind environment at that.

That being said I do understand that FC may not feel that way, considering that some people have been unnecessarily harsh on her.

As i said i Can understand people "enjoy" to speak freely or share with people that experience the same. But clearly SaSu is not a happy community, where you could find happy Friends, shared about happy things or different kind of activities. So temporarily it may appear interesting and comforting to share about sufferings. But the entire site is only about that, in the long term i doubt that the website can help people getting better. Drowning in your own sufferings and those from the others, i doubt it will help people to feel better. It's not his main purpose. Actually almost anyone said it, they came here to find informations on method
there is the recovery section but i think it's not the main part of the community. I didn't visit it so i dont how efficient it is.

I dont want to négative about SaSu, i just find the website kind of heavy.... I target things precisely and don't participate much because it's not easy to navigate here and read all problems and attempts...

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

As i said i Can understand people "enjoy" to speak freely or share with people that experience the same. But clearly SaSu is not a happy community, where you could find happy Friends, shared about happy things or different kind of activities. So temporarily it may appear interesting and comforting to share about sufferings. But the entire site is only about that, in the long term i doubt that the website can help people getting better. Drowning in your own sufferings and those from the others, i doubt it will help people to feel better. It's not his main purpose. Actually almost anyone said it, they came here to find informations on method.

Interesting. Do you think that happiness is a prerequisite for comfort? The way I see it as shared human experiences creates a sense of belonging, and that is comforting. Even if the topic is something as heavy as suicidality. Sort of like how terminally ill people tend to find comfort in other people in the some situation. The suffering wouldn't go away or ease if you were to ignore it and shut up about it in my experience, hense why people are on here in the first place. In my own case, the suffering would be way worse if I didn't have SaSu.

 

[black and white]

Interesting. Do you think that happiness is a prerequisite for comfort? The way I see it as shared human experiences creates a sense of belonging, and that is comforting. Even if the topic is something as heavy as suicidality. Sort of like how terminally ill people tend to find comfort in other people in the some situation. The suffering wouldn't go away or ease if you were to ignore it and shut up about it in my experience, hense why people are on here in the first place. In my own case, the suffering would be way worse if I didn't have SaSu.

Ok i get it. Everyone is different. Not sure i will be able to stay for long and i dont open much conversation because i often find them hard to handle or i see i can't bring much to the people.
I mean nothing about happyness. It's a caricature... SaSu is special community made of sufferers... So i understand you are here since six months and it brings you something, probably because living your own sufferings lonely was harder. But the community is so that i doubt anything constructive can appear in the long term. Many "old" membres are mainly those who didn't succeed or can't succeed. As far as we live, we have to choose life fully and do the best possible. If we choose to die, then it's death. But being closed in an between will lead nowhere but just more sufferings. FuneralCry seems a good example of that: being emprisonned in an existence she don't want and can't handled. On the other hand, i dont know how and why but it seems she can't ctb, for some reasons, probably as many of us, because it's difficult to achieve.

All i'm saying is for people who will live in the long term.... I'm not sure SaSu will bring constructive things in the long run. Most likely it will close people into morbid thoughts, sufferings etc where life is not worth it, but can't die. So i understand many of you are blocked in this in between and so feel it's your place; but that will work only a bit for some Time... Like a relationship or some medication.. it won't fix the real problems about life, or ability to die... You will just closed yourself more in a living situation where you can't live. You feel comfort for now, but where do you think it will drive you?

Once again i dont intended to judge anything or anyone and i'm maybe wrong. But it's difficult to see the positive side and the constructive side of a long participation to the forum.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

Ok i get it. Everyone is different. Not sure i will be able to stay for long and i dont open much conversation because i often find them hard to handle or i see i can't bring much to the people.
I mean nothing about happyness. It's a caricature... SaSu is special community made of sufferers... So i understand you are here since six months and it brings you something, probably because living your own sufferings lonely was harder. But the community is so that i doubt anything constructive can appear in the long term. Many "old" membres are mainly those who didn't succeed or can't succeed. As far as we live, we have to choose life fully and do the best possible. If we choose to die, then it's death. But being closed in an between will lead nowhere but just more sufferings. FuneralCry seems a good example of that: being emprisonned in an existence she don't want and can't handled. On the other hand, i dont know how and why but it seems she can't ctb, for some reasons, probably as many of us, because it's difficult to achieve.

All i'm saying is for people who will live in the long term.... I'm not sure SaSu will bring constructive things in the long run. Most likely it will close people into morbid thoughts, sufferings etc where life is not worth it, but can't die. So i understand many of you are blocked in this in between and so feel it's your place; but that will work only a bit for some Time... Like a relationship or some medication.. it won't fix the real problems about life, or ability to die... You will just closed yourself more in a living situation where you can't live. You feel comfort for now, but where do you think it will drive you?

Once again i dont intended to judge anything or anyone and i'm maybe wrong. But it's difficult to see the positive side and thé constructive side of a long participation to the forum.

I do understand where you are coming from and I'm not trying to argue against you, I hope it didn't come across that way. The only thing I really can add is that for some of us, "getting better" isn't an option. For a vast variety of reasons, including chronic illnesses, not having access to any help for various reasons and simply not wanting to live, such as FC. Some people don't want their lives, some people do but have no means of ever feeling better. All valid reasons for being here. I do think there needs to be a room for hopelessness. For some of us, our situations truly are hopeless and most people outside of here don't want to see it.

 

[Defenestration]

Ok, je comprends. Tout le monde est différent. Je ne suis pas sûr de pouvoir rester longtemps et je n'ouvre pas beaucoup de conversations car je les trouve souvent difficiles à gérer ou je vois que je ne peux pas apporter grand-chose aux gens.
Je ne parle pas du bonheur. C'est une caricature... SaSu est une communauté spéciale faite de malades... Donc je comprends que vous êtes ici depuis six mois et que cela vous apporte quelque chose, probablement parce que vivre ses propres souffrances seul était plus difficile. Mais la communauté est telle que je doute que quelque chose de constructif puisse apparaître à long terme. De nombreux « anciens » membres sont principalement ceux qui n'ont pas réussi ou ne peuvent pas réussir. Dans la mesure où nous vivons, nous devons choisir pleinement la vie et faire de notre mieux. Si nous choisissons de mourir, alors c'est la mort. Mais être enfermé dans un entre-deux ne mènera nulle part si ce n'est à davantage de souffrances. FuneralCry semble en être un bon exemple : être emprisonnée dans une existence qu'elle ne veut pas et qu'elle ne peut pas gérer. D'un autre côté, je ne sais pas comment et pourquoi, mais il semble qu'elle ne puisse pas ctb, pour certaines raisons, probablement comme beaucoup d'entre nous, car c'est difficile à réaliser.

Tout ce que je dis, c'est pour les gens qui vivront sur le long terme... Je ne suis pas sûr que SaSu apportera des choses constructives à long terme. Très probablement, cela enfermera les gens dans des pensées morbides, des souffrances, etc., où la vie n'en vaut pas la peine, mais ne peut pas mourir. Je comprends donc que beaucoup d'entre vous sont bloqués dans cet entre-deux et sentent donc que c'est leur place ; mais cela ne fonctionnera qu'un peu pendant un certain temps... Comme une relation ou des médicaments... cela ne résoudra pas les vrais problèmes de la vie, ou la capacité de mourir... Vous vous enfermerez simplement davantage dans une situation de vie où tu ne peux pas vivre. Vous vous sentez à l'aise pour l'instant, mais où pensez-vous que cela vous mènera ?

Encore une fois, je n'ai pas l'intention de juger quoi que ce soit ni qui que ce soit et je me trompe peut-être. Mais il est difficile de voir le côté positif et le côté constructif d'une longue participation au forum.

100/100 agree with you

 

[black and white]

I do understand where you are coming from and I'm not trying to argue against you, I hope it didn't come across that way. The only thing I really can add is that for some of us, "getting better" isn't an option. For a vast variety of reasons, including chronic illnesses, not having access to any help for various reasons and simply not wanting to live, such as FC. Some people don't want their lives, some people do but have no means of ever feeling better. All valid reasons for being here. I do think there needs to be a room for hopelessness. For some of us, our situations truly are hopeless and most people outside of here don't want to see it.

I dont believe in "getting better"... I think we are who we are, what we are. To make it short that's why i dont believe in medication. Changing the chemistry of the brain Can have some effect but it's artificial and momentary. And in the long run those medication will do more harm than good.
Also the variety of situation could include lethal disease in final phase etc..

It's not about getting better... But accept who we are and leave it peacefully. Ok in the example of a final phase cancer, you can't cured and you suffer physically. Can't do nothing, can't get better... But it's not a reason to ruin your state of mind,your day by day etc. I dont think closing ourselves into sufferings is the best way. Seems more like a transition to assume who we are, what we are. If we are at peace with ourselves, our vision, our condition, with our sufferings; no need to vent, no need to talk about it again and again.

It's about acceptance... It's maybe not your condition and who you are that make you suffer, but making yourself suffer because of your condition and who you are...

 

[F@#$]

That sucks, I don't find comfort in anything anymore.