Venting I don't feel an urgency to do it

[Hadnafoflife]

Meanwhile I volunteer and put tefilin in on daily for spiritual reward after I die, I can always kill myself even 5 years from now, I don't suffer that much compared to how I used to I am only mildly depressed, I wait with it to improve my position in "Olam Haba" (afterlife) by doing mitzvot, I don't know how it will be after I will die and in the next reincarnation so I ensure it will be better

 

[justanotherfailure]

Shabbat shalom, I'm glad that you are doing better than you used to be! I pray that you will have God-given joy, despite the difficulties of this life