- crybaby -
its all wasted .
- Mar 17, 2021
- 75
I've gone thru so many circles of "Maybe this will help me , maybe this will fix me." it's became exhausting .
It hurts because I tried .. for so many years I tried desperately to want it ..to see meaning in life or at least no seek death so much .
I'd spend nights conflicted with myself ..
" why ? why am I like this ?Do "normal" people have these thoughts?This strong desire ? "
Then I'd become .. numb ,drained from any emotion ,no longer having any energy or desire to fight it ..I just accept it ..
That's how I felt for a good while now .. numb.
With no desire to live an actual life ..
With no energy to actually commit sucide either ..
Just letting the days pass by ..
It hurts because I tried .. for so many years I tried desperately to want it ..to see meaning in life or at least no seek death so much .
I'd spend nights conflicted with myself ..
" why ? why am I like this ?Do "normal" people have these thoughts?This strong desire ? "
Then I'd become .. numb ,drained from any emotion ,no longer having any energy or desire to fight it ..I just accept it ..
That's how I felt for a good while now .. numb.
With no desire to live an actual life ..
With no energy to actually commit sucide either ..
Just letting the days pass by ..