Venting I don’t belong here.

[deadbidaylight]

I haven't been on here long, but during my time here I have tried my absolute best to be kind, understanding and supportive in the best ways I know how. I feel like every single one of us here could use more of that. Just being truly heard and understood makes a huge difference, and when I comment, I really do pay attention, read the post carefully, and put my heart into my responses. I really listen. It means a lot to me that people open up and are so raw on this forum, and I don't take that for granted.

We all come from different backgrounds and walks of life. I get that. Not everyone is going to agree on everything. That's the nature of a forum that spans the entire earth. I think it's great that we can support each other near and far.

But I'm quickly learning that even though I approach this site with the best intentions, I am not immune to ridicule and just pure hatred. I get it; hurt people, hurt people. It just makes me wonder what's the point? Why do l put my heart and soul into something just to get shit on. I might as well be an asshole- it's way easier and takes very little effort. But I can't, because that's not who I am.

My entire life I've always felt like I never belonged anywhere. I thought I finally found that in this community. For the first time in my life I felt like I could relate, that my feelings were valid and that I wasn't alone. But after the last few days, my spirit is broken. I don't belong here either. I don't belong anywhere.

I relate to @Schrodingerisdead so much, and I am really sad that they've passed. I think he had it right. I wish I could've spoken to him in his time of need. Because he did that for everyone else and now he's gone. We give and we give and we give, and get nothing in return. I'm tired of the world just taking. I'm tired of being a good person. Im just tired. There is no point. There's just too much hatred and I'm not made for it.


"We can conquer hate by ignoring it. We can destroy it by loving the person next to us."

I'm likely going to leave this site already. I fear if I stay, I will end up like Schrodingerisdead. I'll keep searching for a place to belong.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far. I don't need anything. I just needed to speak. Take care of yourselves.

 

[hhtroc]

Some direct their pain inwards, some outwards. I guess, if heaven is real, you will have a guaranteed place in there at least. You have been nothing but great from the little time I have known you. But I understand where you are coming from, I don't think this is a constructive place in general, it is a place to vent and I guess it is a place for some people to direct their anger to someone.
The world is way more cruel than I would ever wish it to be and there is no changing that but there have been times where i have read what you wrote and I thought "maybe not that cruel".
I will read up on Schrodingerisdead now, honor their memory, maybe something good comes out of it.

edit: guess the account has been deleted.

 

[CravingPeace]

I haven't been on here long, but during my time here I have tried my absolute best to be kind, understanding and supportive in the best ways I know how. I feel like every single one of us here could use more of that. Just being truly heard and understood makes a huge difference, and when I comment, I really do pay attention, read the post carefully, and put my heart into my responses. I really listen. It means a lot to me that people open up and are so raw on this forum, and I don't take that for granted.

We all come from different backgrounds and walks of life. I get that. Not everyone is going to agree on everything. That's the nature of a forum that spans the entire earth. I think it's great that we can support each other near and far.

But I'm quickly learning that even though I approach this site with the best intentions, I am not immune to ridicule and just pure hatred. I get it; hurt people, hurt people. It just makes me wonder what's the point? Why do l put my heart and soul into something just to get shit on. I might as well be an asshole- it's way easier and takes very little effort. But I can't, because that's not who I am.

My entire life I've always felt like I never belonged anywhere. I thought I finally found that in this community. For the first time in my life I felt like I could relate, that my feelings were valid and that I wasn't alone. But after the last few days, my spirit is broken. I don't belong here either. I don't belong anywhere.

I relate to @Schrodingerisdead so much, and I am really sad that they've passed. I think he had it right. I wish I could've spoken to him in his time of need. Because he did that for everyone else and now he's gone. We give and we give and we give, and get nothing in return. I'm tired of the world just taking. I'm tired of being a good person. Im just tired. There is no point. There's just too much hatred and I'm not made for it.


"We can conquer hate by ignoring it. We can destroy it by loving the person next to us."

I'm likely going to leave this site already. I fear if I stay, I will end up like Schrodingerisdead. I'll keep searching for a place to belong.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far. I don't need anything. I just needed to speak. Take care of yourselves.

Ugh. I absolutely hate that you are feeling this way. I've clearly missed something important because I had no idea you were being ridiculed and treated poorly. The idea that someone as lovely and kind as you can be treated this way just baffles the mind. You have been a cornerstone for me in terms of rethinking my path forward in a more positive light.

I do believe you belong here, but I am likely saying that because I don't want you to go. It really is unfathomable that you could be a target for harassment. However, this forum is reasonably riddled with mentally ill individuals, including those who tend to lash out, speak belligerently, and have malicious intentions. I would not blame you if you left, but again, I hate to see it.

YOU take care of yourself. YOU deserve it, friend.

 

[Lyn]

I don't come here too often, much less comment, so I don't know what exactly happened.

But I just wanted to let you know that I always enjoy reading your posts. The sincerity and caring in them is very clear.
And I really understand this idea of an easier path. And realizing that it's not possible for me to do that for the simple reason that it wouldn't be me...

I'm sorry if I'm rambling, I'm not very good with words.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I'd be sorry to see you go, your impact on this community is noticeable.
But anyway, please take care.

 

[Namelesa]

I will say I don't think SchrodingerIsDed didn't ctb from a lack of kindness from here. Some people tired to DM him when he said he wanted that in chat when he was saying about ctbing but weren't able to cus he set only people he followed to be able to DM. I was able to as he followed me but he didn't respond to me cus I was probably too late. Its understandable that he accused others of not comforting him but others were literally unable to. I was sorry I was too late with it to not comfort him. I also remember him just wanting to be comforted during his ctb and wanting to genuinely do it which does go against what he said in his thread but I could be wrong about what he said in chat.

While I myself don't think procreation is right, you seem like you are taking care of your child well and that as she is having a good life so it justifies the action and makes it a morally neutral one meaning you don't deserve hate at all for people bashing about your decision to have a child as its already been done. Just if she wants to ctb later on in life to allow that as she deserves to have a choice to escape this world if she want to.

 

[Alias Pluto]

I haven't been on this site for a few years until recently but I'll say I've noticed your posts as very kind and caring ones. Thank you and I noticed you're a parent like me. Good luck to us and our kids. Hang in there and good job for not being an asshole <3

 

[divinemistress36]

Most people on here are supportive. Like any social media there will always be some jerks . Thanks for being a kind soul

 

[LAPD]

I've only been here for a week, but I do appreciate your posts. They are thoughtful and constructive. They are a drop of kindness in this bucket of despair lol. But, in all honesty, this is a site for people that have been completely defeated by life. So it is not surprising that people are miserable and nasty. Many of us are just so jaded and cynical after being beaten around by life for so long.

You seem to have hope, but this site is for the hopeless. Don't let us take your hope away.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Every time you appear in my notifications or I see you in a thread you always seem in good spirits. Godspeed. I hope you make a place with people who share your sensibilities someday soon.

 

[ForestGhost]

Sorry you've felt unwelcomed. I for one have really appreciated your posts. I think a lot of people quietly value your contributions (well, maybe not so quietly, plenty of people are open about it here!), but the ones who might take issue with you for whatever reason are probably a little more vocal about it. My gentle advice is to just ignore anyone who's being combative, and report them if it's particularly hostile, but of course you deserve a place to feel safe and if that means leaving I fully respect that. Wish you all the best

 

[grapevoid]

if you feel you need to go, I understand, but I hope you stay don't let those people make you feel like you don't belong. There are also very kind and supportive people here.

I was also SO sad when shrodinger passed and I was asleep. Really ruined my day.

If you stay, I'd love to see you in chat. It is much different there, you may find it better suited for your personality. Xoxo

 

[ididnotconsent]

I think you should stay. You seem like a great person. There'll always be people who disagree with you or your way of life in any setting.

Some will unfortunately be nasty about it because they are hurting deeply.

I think you do belong here, but whatever you choose, peace to you.

 

[wiggy]

Most people on here are supportive. Like any social media there will always be some jerks . Thanks for being a kind soul

This forum is definitely well above the average in that respect.
That said, even though I feel people here are generally supportive and you're able to get a lot of valuable information and interesting discussions, I don't think one should expect to find anything like a proper support network out of an online space.

 

[Silently Dying]

I can so relate to what you're saying. I've been a giver my entire life and been shit on every time. Now, I"m a total bitch and everyone hates me. No loss. The sad part is that I don't know who I am anymore. There are assholes everywhere - even here. But there are good people here too. Hang in the there. Just remember when those people get to you - don't call them an asshole because an asshole has a purpose - they don't.

 

[Fall_Apart]

I am sorry for your decision. I have read many posts you have written and you seem like a person who can give a lot to this community. However, maybe you have not fully realized that this place is made up of people who are mentally broken, full of suffering and without hope. Which means that a person in this condition cannot always be balanced in the way they interact. When you are part of Sasu's suicide section, you should have a greater tolerance when talking to others, because sometimes pain and despair do not make you a patient person. Anyway, I hope you find your best place.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I don't think anyone being unkind etc to you on here defines you to us. i've seen how you engage. similarly to myself, you do your best to be caring, kind and supportive to people here. I think the comments up thread demonstrates that.

please feel free to reach out at any point, I care. and I feel like we see eye to eye in regards to how to treat people here.

sending you a massive fucking hug homie.

 

[rozeske]

I'm sorry to see you feeling like this. You always had the kindest things to say and even when they are directed at someone else your words always feel like a warm giant hug. I know how draining and tiring it can be so thank you for giving us that. Whoever has you in their lives is truly blessed. Don't let the few negative comments here take away from that also don't take them personally. We tend to reflect the harshest on the people that we mistake for the thing that hurt us the most. Believe me it wasn't about you or what you said just about what some assigned you to represent.

 

[sadsoni]

Oh no, I will miss you... please don't leave.

 

[TransTaxEvader]

i just want you to know, your kind words always made me feel better, and I really do appreciate you, if it is best for you mental health to leave then I understand fully, just know that people do appreciate you.

 

[CatLvr]

I can't say anything other than what has been said before by everyone else. And they have all echoed what went thru my mind as I read your post.

I had the same thing happen to me. A particular member who shall remain unnamed was ... Well ... "Harsh" with regard to a couple of my posts. Apparently because I think differently than them on a couple of issues I am basically a fucking idiot and don't belong here.

Like you, I thought about leaving. Then I thought, you know, dammit, I have friends here and I need them as much as they need me. So I just scroll past whatever they say now. Some people just can't express themselves without being angry. I don't understand it, but at the same time I also "get" it.

I would hope that you decide to stay. In the short time you have been here you have become an exemplary example of what is good about SaSu. Don't let what little is bad here run you off. Please. Those of us like you need you as much as you need us.

 

[Zaphkiel]

I've clearly missed something important because I had no idea you were being ridiculed and treated poorly.

Dear @deadbidaylight , Same here.
I dont spend a lot of time here. Just throwing a comment here and here. But my impression is the same as DivineMistress :

Most people on here are supportive. Like any social media there will always be some jerks . Thanks for being a kind soul

So whatever happened, and for lack of better words, try to get the best of a given situation. Most of people here are good i reckon, and more empathetic than most due to their circumstances. If there are some dickheads, just ignore them, and report them. The staff here is doing a good job i think.
Ultimatly, if you don't like a thing, there is no reason to force yourself : our life is already shit so no need to burden it anymore.

If you ever feel the need to vent and discuss some other thing dont hesitate to reach me in DM if i can help in anyway you're welcome.

 

[endlessmelancholy]

I haven't been on here long, but during my time here I have tried my absolute best to be kind, understanding and supportive in the best ways I know how. I feel like every single one of us here could use more of that. Just being truly heard and understood makes a huge difference, and when I comment, I really do pay attention, read the post carefully, and put my heart into my responses. I really listen. It means a lot to me that people open up and are so raw on this forum, and I don't take that for granted.

We all come from different backgrounds and walks of life. I get that. Not everyone is going to agree on everything. That's the nature of a forum that spans the entire earth. I think it's great that we can support each other near and far.

But I'm quickly learning that even though I approach this site with the best intentions, I am not immune to ridicule and just pure hatred. I get it; hurt people, hurt people. It just makes me wonder what's the point? Why do l put my heart and soul into something just to get shit on. I might as well be an asshole- it's way easier and takes very little effort. But I can't, because that's not who I am.

My entire life I've always felt like I never belonged anywhere. I thought I finally found that in this community. For the first time in my life I felt like I could relate, that my feelings were valid and that I wasn't alone. But after the last few days, my spirit is broken. I don't belong here either. I don't belong anywhere.

I relate to @Schrodingerisdead so much, and I am really sad that they've passed. I think he had it right. I wish I could've spoken to him in his time of need. Because he did that for everyone else and now he's gone. We give and we give and we give, and get nothing in return. I'm tired of the world just taking. I'm tired of being a good person. Im just tired. There is no point. There's just too much hatred and I'm not made for it.


"We can conquer hate by ignoring it. We can destroy it by loving the person next to us."

I'm likely going to leave this site already. I fear if I stay, I will end up like Schrodingerisdead. I'll keep searching for a place to belong.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far. I don't need anything. I just needed to speak. Take care of yourselves.

Hope you find somewhere to belong in. Wishing you all the best

 

[Tombs_in_your_eyes]

I just wanted to echo everyone else and say what a kind community member you've been here. Your posts on others' threads are always so thoughtful and considerate. I'm sorry you're not feeling appreciated - do step away if that's what you need to do for your own well-being.

I think a lot of people here are quietly appreciative of your posts, but don't necessarily comment to say so if it's not on a thread they've started. But it must be a horrible feeling to give and give and not feel you're getting anywhere near as much in return. I'll be more mindful to show appreciation of kindness in this forum when I see it from now on.

 

[gothbird]

I want to respond honestly and directly because you deserve more than platitudes.

You've clearly put effort, care, and time into your responses here. That doesn't go unnoticed. And yeah—this place needs people like that. People who actually read, who listen without just waiting to talk. That kind of presence is rare, even in spaces built on pain. Your intention matters. It always has.

That said—good intentions don't make you immune to hurt. And you're right: hurt people hurt people. It's not fair, it's not justified, and it's not okay. But it happens. Trauma gets weaponised, pain turns into projection, and suddenly people who came here to feel safe are tearing each other down like it's nothing. That doesn't mean your kindness was wasted. It just means the people you're helping aren't always in a place to recognise it. Sometimes, they're too far gone in their own hell to even notice someone reaching in.

You're tired of giving. I get that. And I won't sugarcoat it—being a good person in a cruel space doesn't always feel like strength. Sometimes it feels like stupidity. Like naivety. Like walking into fire and expecting anything but burns. But here's the thing: you did it anyway. That's who you are. And that still counts, even if it hurts.

You said maybe it'd be easier to be an asshole. You're right. It is. It takes zero effort to tear someone down. It takes real force to stay soft in a sharp world. But you already answered your own question: you can't do it, because that's not who you are. And honestly? Good. The world doesn't need another cold heart. It needs people who care, even when it's messy and painful and thankless.

As for belonging—you do belong here, even if this week made it feel like you don't. You belong because you care, not in spite of it. And I'm sorry this space didn't show up for you when you needed it. But you're not alone in that feeling. A lot of us have been on that edge, thinking, "I'll give one more piece of myself," and then finding no one there to catch it.

Schrodingerisdead gave a lot. But you don't have to follow him. You're not required to sacrifice yourself just because you have a heart that listens. You're allowed to rest. You're allowed to stop pouring when the cup is empty.

If you leave this place, I hope it's not out of shame. I hope it's out of protection. Out of choosing peace over noise. But wherever you go, you take that compassion with you. And it'll matter there, too.

You're not weak. You're not naïve.
You're just tired—and being good in this world is exhausting. But that doesn't mean it's worthless. And it sure as hell doesn't mean you are.

Take whatever time you need. We'll still be here if you come back.

 

[Pluto]

My entire life I've always felt like I never belonged anywhere. I thought I finally found that in this community. For the first time in my life I felt like I could relate, that my feelings were valid and that I wasn't alone. But after the last few days, my spirit is broken. I don't belong here either. I don't belong anywhere.

Same here. Your point is very valid. At one time, I was an outspoken advocate of making the website respectful for all demographics. I was never censored, but I quickly realised the futility of going against the groupthink. I never found another place to belong and my energy levels and mental focus are only a fraction of what they once were, so I avoid conflict now and keep my contributions very light.

I was on the cusp of offering a lengthy reply to you in that other thread, though you understandably chose not to engage further by that time.

As someone who is 'too old to know everything', for a post to do justice to such a serious topic, it would need to cover a few different points of view with nuance and reference to life experience, yet conclude on a somewhat ambiguous note. And the result will be ignored completely. In social media, what rises to the top is tribalism and simplistic posturing.

Only the tiniest number of people here intentionally harm others, but on the whole, I have seen many thoughtful, empathic people leave because of the somewhat juvenile culture.

 

[moonflow3r]

im sorry you feel this way. ive notices as i fall more and more in this stupid cycle of self destruction that being nice and having empathy to others gets harder. not to mention this is an anonymous website, so there's no remorse for those who treat you bad. i also miss shrodinger. i wish id listen to him . he believed in. me.

 

[grapevoid]

 

[deadbidaylight]

View attachment 163102

Go check my new thread

 

[Corvette90]

I haven't been on here long, but during my time here I have tried my absolute best to be kind, understanding and supportive in the best ways I know how. I feel like every single one of us here could use more of that. Just being truly heard and understood makes a huge difference, and when I comment, I really do pay attention, read the post carefully, and put my heart into my responses. I really listen. It means a lot to me that people open up and are so raw on this forum, and I don't take that for granted.

We all come from different backgrounds and walks of life. I get that. Not everyone is going to agree on everything. That's the nature of a forum that spans the entire earth. I think it's great that we can support each other near and far.

But I'm quickly learning that even though I approach this site with the best intentions, I am not immune to ridicule and just pure hatred. I get it; hurt people, hurt people. It just makes me wonder what's the point? Why do l put my heart and soul into something just to get shit on. I might as well be an asshole- it's way easier and takes very little effort. But I can't, because that's not who I am.

My entire life I've always felt like I never belonged anywhere. I thought I finally found that in this community. For the first time in my life I felt like I could relate, that my feelings were valid and that I wasn't alone. But after the last few days, my spirit is broken. I don't belong here either. I don't belong anywhere.

I relate to @Schrodingerisdead so much, and I am really sad that they've passed. I think he had it right. I wish I could've spoken to him in his time of need. Because he did that for everyone else and now he's gone. We give and we give and we give, and get nothing in return. I'm tired of the world just taking. I'm tired of being a good person. Im just tired. There is no point. There's just too much hatred and I'm not made for it.


"We can conquer hate by ignoring it. We can destroy it by loving the person next to us."

I'm likely going to leave this site already. I fear if I stay, I will end up like Schrodingerisdead. I'll keep searching for a place to belong.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far. I don't need anything. I just needed to speak. Take care of yourselves.

I honestly really Appreciate reading your responses and posts. I also felt I didn't/don't fit anywhere. If you do leave take care. You will be missed. I personally think it is healthy to have a community that we can all respectfully share our opinions. I know you don't need anything but I'm sending love your way from me