I do not know what to think

[Jamesun]

Hello, I was away again for a while, I thought everything was going well but now I feel like shit and very scared.
I don't know why I always feel like this again, everything was going so well and everything suddenly started to go so bad, I'm afraid of being or ending up alone, I can't stop being a fucking emotional dependent,and I feel that the best thing I could do is leave this world although I would not like to hurt anyone maybe I should stay completely alone for this to happen.

 

[livinginsorrow]

hey jamesun, i know in my experience i'm used to things feeling sad / bad so i tend to resort back to that feeling when things are going good. you're not better off alone and you're not better off dead either. try and remember that you matter, and if you are emotionally dependent, there are people out there willing to be there for you. i'm here for you if you need and don't give up when times get rough. you will get through this. you feeling okay and happy even for a short period is enough to remember not to give up because it will go back to that way again.

 

[saddavyd]

Hi again Jamesun. Why is everything going so bad again, or is it instead your thoughts which mean that it is a perception that things are getting worse and maybe they are not really. Our thoughts can be so powerful in determining how we feel. If we let them.

 

[Jamesun]

hey jamesun, i know in my experience i'm used to things feeling sad / bad so i tend to resort back to that feeling when things are going good. you're not better off alone and you're not better off dead either. try and remember that you matter, and if you are emotionally dependent, there are people out there willing to be there for you. i'm here for you if you need and don't give up when times get rough. you will get through this. you feeling okay and happy even for a short period is enough to remember not to give up because it will go back to that way again.

Thanks for everything, I seriously feel like I need to talk, i recently suffered a horrible crisis and I am still very scared.

 

[saddavyd]

Thanks for everything, I seriously feel like I need to talk, i recently suffered a horrible crisis and I am still very scared.

Feelings after a trauma, loss or crisis can be so hard to manage. Your brain will put you in a roller-coaster of emotions and take you to the limit of what it thinks you can stand. Then it will give you some respite. Then do it again. That is the process of grief and adjustment to what has changed. Think of it like swimming across a mighty sea. Sometimes it will be calm and you are making progress. Other times it will be stormy and tough and hard to keep yourself above water. You are in survival mode. A huge wave comes along and threatens to take you under. But it doesn't. You don't feel you are making any progress, just treading water, but you keep swimming. Friends, family, workmates are your life-preserver. The cycles of calmer days and storms keep coming. So unpredictable. But you are crossing the sea. There is no easy way across. One day it starts to get easier. Then you see dry land and you know that your your nightmare of a journey is coming to an end. Then you make it to dry land. It's still going to rain in the future, but it's never going to drown you. Keep swimming!

 

[livinginsorrow]

Feelings after a trauma, loss or crisis can be so hard to manage. Your brain will put you in a roller-coaster of emotions and take you to the limit of what it thinks you can stand. Then it will give you some respite. Then do it again. That is the process of grief and adjustment to what has changed. Think of it like swimming across a mighty sea. Sometimes it will be calm and you are making progress. Other times it will be stormy and tough and hard to keep yourself above water. You are in survival mode. A huge wave comes along and threatens to take you under. But it doesn't. You don't feel you are making any progress, just treading water, but you keep swimming. Friends, family, workmates are your life-preserver. The cycles of calmer days and storms keep coming. So unpredictable. But you are crossing the sea. There is no easy way across. One day it starts to get easier. Then you see dry land and you know that your your nightmare of a journey is coming to an end. Then you make it to dry land. It's still going to rain in the future, but it's never going to drown you. Keep swimming!

this is a beautiful picture way to express what i also wanted to say.
jamesun, i'm here to talk if you need but i don't have any training or anything! im just a shoulder to cry on if you need : ). but don't give up!! especially now, because it will get better

 

[brokeandbroken]

Hello, I was away again for a while, I thought everything was going well but now I feel like shit and very scared.
I don't know why I always feel like this again, everything was going so well and everything suddenly started to go so bad, I'm afraid of being or ending up alone, I can't stop being a fucking emotional dependent,and I feel that the best thing I could do is leave this world although I would not like to hurt anyone maybe I should stay completely alone for this to happen.

This seems to operate in the realm of extremes only. Have you considered middle ground or working to achieve that? Achieving that opens up the possibilities for not being alone and etc...