Venting I died over a year ago

[KillingPain267]

Since then I have just been existing, and felt like a zombie. I went through life daily without any plan for the future, so every day I make the future worse for myself if I don't end my existence. It's time for the zombie that is me to be buried for good soon.

 

[RadiantNumber]

I hope there will be better times for You
If you want talk, write

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of suffering, I also feel like I'm just existing. But anyway I hope you find peace.

 

[chester]

Is it okay if I ask what happened over a year ago?

 

[Praying 4 a Miracle]

I know exactly how you feel, it was two and a half years ago for me.

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes for finding rest in the end.

 

[NegevChina]

Since then I have just been existing, and felt like a zombie. I went through life daily without any plan for the future, so every day I make the future worse for myself if I don't end my existence. It's time for the zombie that is me to be buried for good soon.

Sorry to hear about your suffering. I know just how you feel. In many ways I'm like you. It happened to me on January, I wanted to CTB, I've waited because i was so physically weak and every day things got worse in other aspects of my life that contributed to my anxiety. I lost my health, then my job, and soon every thing else. If I tried it then I would have definitely failed and things would have been even worse for me. I need to do it soon cause things are about to get much worse.

 

[KillingPain267]

Is it okay if I ask what happened over a year ago?

My ex left me and I resolved already within before, that would my ex ever leave, I would ctb. I basically feel like I'm on death row for a year now just waiting for the warden to call me.

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

Yeah, that young energetic me died, when I was twelve, when I woke up and realised that everything around me was built up by my parent to shield me from the real world, and that they would then betray me by letting that real world harm me. They set me up for failure, for better or for worse I don't quite know, but at least I'm not ignorant of the real world, but I do feel like I'm merely an observer, watching myself suffer in that world.

Unnecessarily suffering, for no benefit to myself. Maybe It would have been better if I actually died when I was twelve, instead of just my sense of self, or the fake Idea of me that was forced upon me.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Exactly what I have been saying. I've been dead for five years. I still remember how it happened. Now the only thing that remains is to bury this body.