I did something and made a grave mistake

[Water-Lily]

I did something and its pushing me over the brink and don't have anyone to talk about it.

 

[suicidaltoad]

you have us!

 

[Meditation guide]

We are here if you want to tell us.

 

[Water-Lily]

I feel its a stupid thing to obsess over.....so I am not sure how to talk about it

 

[Weightoftheworld]

That's why I find this site comforting, I'm able to talk about things here that I cannot talk to about with anyone in my daily life.

 

[Water-Lily]

Basically I made a comment on another site elsewhere and it made me uncomfortable. I am unable to take it down and I feel like running away from the site

That's why I find this site comforting, I'm able to talk about things here that I cannot talk to about with anyone in my daily life.

Yeah. This is a cool place and I want to let loose and express myself though it can be hard

 

[Bazzinga]

Basically I made a comment on another site elsewhere and it made me uncomfortable. I am unable to take it down and I feel like running away from the site

Yeah. This is a cool place and I want to let loose and express myself though it can be hard

We all have made mistakes in some point of our life you don't have to worry about being judged:).You can always share it here if you don't mind:)

 

[Water-Lily]

Ok. So I had joined a site (wont say what) and made a comment on someone photo. An innocent comment. But...I felt ashamed since it brought up a conflict with my own sexuality (I know weird) anyways for some reason I cant delete it and went frantic to message mods about it

Fml

 

[Ghost2211]

It's very likely you're being harder on yourself about it than others will be on you. We all post something we regret sooner or later. Goodness knows I've made my share of posts in this group that make me die inside a little when I think about how socially awkward or dumb I sound. I'm sorry you're dealing with this stress. It can feel pretty awful. Hopefully it gets sorted out for you.

 

[Water-Lily]

It's very likely you're being harder on yourself about it than others will be on you. We all post something we regret sooner or later. Goodness knows I've made my share of posts in this group that make me die inside a little when I think about how socially awkward or dumb I sound. I'm sorry you're dealing with this stress. It can feel pretty awful. Hopefully it gets sorted out for you.

Thank you. I had reached out to the mod and made a post about it and now I am so afraid to check back. I have Borderline, where my emotions are felt 2 fold. So, I feel if I get criticized or banned then I might as well give up now

 

[suicidaltoad]

Ok. So I had joined a site (wont say what) and made a comment on someone photo. An innocent comment. But...I felt ashamed since it brought up a conflict with my own sexuality (I know weird) anyways for some reason I cant delete it and went frantic to message mods about it

Fml

i may have misunderstood this but in my opinion, you shouldn't be ashamed of your feelings. if you feel a certain way, then that's how you feel and you shouldn't have to change, no matter what. be yourself, that's the most important thing

 

[Intotheflames]

I was like you but worse. I used to go insane over something as small as typos in my posts. If I was criticized I'd delete my account. You can always open a new account (unless it takes invitation but still it can be done), and start with a clean slate.

 

[Water-Lily]

i may have misunderstood this but in my opinion, you shouldn't be ashamed of your feelings. if you feel a certain way, then that's how you feel and you shouldn't have to change, no matter what. be yourself, that's the most important thing

Well it created a conflict in myself with my sexuality if that makes sense. Of course thats a me issue. Though I wasnt comfortable and I wish I listened to my gut and took things at my own pace

I was like you but worse. I used to go insane over something as small as typos in my posts. If I was criticized I'd delete my account. You can always open a new account (unless it takes invitation but still it can be done), and start with a clean slate.

True, though I already liked everything about my profile until this situation. I hate myself so much rn

 

[Nodscene]

I don't think you should be embarrassed about your sexuality or your confusion about it. That's normal.

As for your post, it sounds like you already know it's not as bad as you think but your brain is not letting you accept that. I can understand and sympathise. There is no need to hate yourself and I hope you can accept that, no matter what your feelings are telling you.

 

[Water-Lily]

I don't think you should be embarrassed about your sexuality or your confusion about it. That's normal.

As for your post, it sounds like you already know it's not as bad as you think but your brain is not letting you accept that. I can understand and sympathise. There is no need to hate yourself and I hope you can accept that, no matter what your feelings are telling you.

Thank you. Yeah its something that I have always treaded without full acceptance. Though I guess thats something I gotta deal with in therapy lol

Anyways I was thinking of my dad. We are close, but hes religious and while I know he would still love me it would be awkward. Then again he doesnt have to know anything lol.

 

[Nodscene]

Thank you. Yeah its something that I have always treaded without full acceptance. Though I guess thats something I gotta deal with in therapy lol

Anyways I was thinking of my dad. We are close, but hes religious and while I know he would still love me it would be awkward. Then again he doesnt have to know anything lol.

I don't know how religious your dad is and even if I did it may not mean he won't accept you. Parents have a way of surprising you sometimes.

Most importantly is that this is not something you should feel the need to hide. Quite the opposite imo. I think maybe you need to accept who you are and be comfortable with it....easier said than done I know but no less true.

Out of all the possible things in this life to worry about or make you feel bad about yourself this should be the last thing that causes you any grief or pain. We are all human with sexual desires, it's the most normal thing in the world. What gender(s) you are attracted to is irrelevant when it comes to love. With all the hate, violence etc etc in this world.....love is one of the few pure and beautiful things we have left. Embrace it and be happy! F*ck what others think including your family.

Don't let anyone get in the way of your happiness.

 

[shadowchaser]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, and I hope you feel comfortable to share whatever you need here. We're here to support you however we can, and will never judge. Sending you hugs

 

[Water-Lily]

I don't know how religious your dad is and even if I did it may not mean he won't accept you. Parents have a way of surprising you sometimes.

Most importantly is that this is not something you should feel the need to hide. Quite the opposite imo. I think maybe you need to accept who you are and be comfortable with it....easier said than done I know but no less true.

Out of all the possible things in this life to worry about or make you feel bad about yourself this should be the last thing that causes you any grief or pain. We are all human with sexual desires, it's the most normal thing in the world. What gender(s) you are attracted to is irrelevant when it comes to love. With all the hate, violence etc etc in this world.....love is one of the few pure and beautiful things we have left. Embrace it and be happy! F*ck what others think including your family.

Don't let anyone get in the way of your happiness.

No I mean huh......I just hate labels is all. All I wish is that, I didnt comment on that post. I wish I listened to nay internal boundary and didnt say anything when I clearly wasnt ready. And now I am contemplating dying because of it

 

[I screwed up]

Contemplating dying becoz of a post is too strong a reaction buddy ... If its the only reason for ur ctb then please don't ... U will eventually get over it however bad u feel right now. Pl be kind on urself

 

[Nodscene]

No I mean huh......I just hate labels is all. All I wish is that, I didnt comment on that post. I wish I listened to nay internal boundary and didnt say anything when I clearly wasnt ready. And now I am contemplating dying because of it

Sorry if I misunderstood you.

I can understand your dislike for labels but it's the human condition to use them to try and understand the world around them. It's worse when the label doesn't quite fit you either which happens a lot.

If you don't want to say anything on this forum please feel free to pm me so I have a better idea how to try and at least be there for you if I can't make you feel better. I promise I don't judge a person about anything and I'm a good listener as well.

While I doubt that your post is bad enough that you should feel the need to kill yourself I also don't want to discount your feelings. I don't have enough information to make a proper assessment, it almost sounds more like embarrassment than anything truly serious. At least I hope that's the case.

I'm here for you if you need it.

 

[Water-Lily]

Contemplating dying becoz of a post is too strong a reaction buddy ... If its the only reason for ur ctb then please don't ... U will eventually get over it however bad u feel right now. Pl be kind on urself

My reasons for CTB go way back beyond this.

Sorry if I misunderstood you.

I can understand your dislike for labels but it's the human condition to use them to try and understand the world around them. It's worse when the label doesn't quite fit you either which happens a lot.

If you don't want to say anything on this forum please feel free to pm me so I have a better idea how to try and at least be there for you if I can't make you feel better. I promise I don't judge a person about anything and I'm a good listener as well.

While I doubt that your post is bad enough that you should feel the need to kill yourself I also don't want to discount your feelings. I don't have enough information to make a proper assessment, it almost sounds more like embarrassment than anything truly serious. At least I hope that's the case.

I'm here for you if you need it.

Yeah. I think cause, well, I always identified as straight. But I guess I could be bi curious? Anyways I just tread my sexuality carefully and me commenting on her post made me feel like "holy shit im automatically lesbian" so I got scared. Thats what I mean by labels lol.

And sure I can pm you.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I understand completely how you're feeling because I've been there. Many times. I can't begin to count how many times, plus all the times I agonized over whether TO post something and then didn't, or wrote out a comment and deleted it before posting or posted it and then (fortunately) was able (and did) to go back and delete it later.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so terrible now about your post and I know that internal struggle/berating/regretting is awful. But one thing I have learned over my many years of posting, commenting on sites or saying things in a chat is that 99% of the time, unless you post or say something very VERY outrageous or blatantly cruel or controversial or whatever, nobody else seems to either care or they forget about what you posted or said pretty quickly and the entire situation is a non-issue to everyone else -- except for yourself and the torment going on in your own head. Of course, even knowing this, I still sometimes feel the way you are right now (here's an example: this past weekend I was in a chatroom and said a few things that made me feel REALLY stupid immediately after I posted my comment b/c what I'd said was totally wrong...this was a music related chat about an artist I've been a fan of for over 25 years and I should have remembered certain things about them/the music being discussed but what Id said was WAY OFF. because of my meds and insomnia and other things my mind doesn't work so great these days. Anyway I know this wasn't a big deal in the scheme of life but because of my mental state I felt like everyone was reading my comment/s and thinking how stupid I was, etc. I felt 100x more embarrassed about my mistakes than a 'normal' person). But in the end, nobody even said anything and if they did even notice, by now thyey've forgotten what I'd said. That's just how people are.

Sorry to ramble but I just hope maybe sharing this will help you to feel better about your situation. I really do understand I hope you're able to not feel so bad anymore about your comment. It sounds like what you'd posted made you think more in real terms about a part of your sexuality that you're still coming to terms with and that can be scary. But please don't be afraid to express who you are, to explore, to be true to yourself. You did nothing to feel bad or embarrassed or anything about. xoxo

 

[Meditation guide]

Yeah. I think cause, well, I always identified as straight. But I guess I could be bi curious? Anyways I just tread my sexuality carefully and me commenting on her post made me feel like "holy shit im automatically lesbian" so I got scared. Thats what I mean by labels lol.

If that's all it is maybe it's time you accept that you feel attracted to your own sex at times. It does not necessarily mean you are bi. There is a scale from 1 to 10 about being bi, and that rating for everyone can change at times. Accept your sexuality and enjoy it.

 

[Water-Lily]

If that's all it is maybe it's time you accept that you feel attracted to your own sex at times. It does not necessarily mean you are bi. There is a scale from 1 to 10 about being bi, and that rating for everyone can change at times. Accept your sexuality and enjoy it.

Oh interesting. Yeah I guess I thought I had to immediately conform to a new title
Yeah like I acknowledge I find women body attractive or beautiful to some degree but I dont aspire to be with a woman, if that makes sense. I am more straight leaning

 

[Meditation guide]

Yeah like I acknowledge I find women body attractive or beautiful to some degree but I dont aspire to be with a woman, if that makes sense. I am more straight leaning

That's normal! I do too and I definitely am not interested in sex with women. I admit to a brief episode in my early 20s where I thought about it but that quickly passed. Things are always changing and I've known gay men, I mean totally gay, who fell in love with women. I've noticed it's flexible who you are attracted to and it's normal to be this way. I wish people never felt the need to worry about things like what gender they are attracted to or try to hide it.
The French are open and are not this way. This is so much healthier.

 

[Water-Lily]

That's normal! I do too and I definitely am not interested in sex with women. I admit to a brief episode in my early 20s where I thought about it but that quickly passed. Things are always changing and I've known gay men, I mean totally gay, who fell in love with women. I've noticed it's flexible who you are attracted to and it's normal to be this way. I wish people never felt the need to worry about things like what gender they are attracted to or try to hide it.
The French are open and are not this way. This is so much healthier.

Thank you for giving me a different perspective. After sleeping on it I feel a bit better