Leonard_Bangley39
Hate life but scared of death
- Nov 6, 2025
- 196
was like 2 weeks since i last cut. then just earlier i got a message from one of my closest friends that i left about a month ago saying that they miss me and miss our friendship and that they were deleting their socials and were saying goodbye.
i just wanted to forget all of this. i wanted to forget all of it, everything. i treated them like shit and got kicked because of it, so i just wanted to move on and try to be better. i keep telling myself that i wont be able to change, that i'll just fall back into bad habits and keep being a bad person and treated them bad. i was finally beginning to forget. things are going good in my life. i have a job and moved out of my sister's place. i just wanted to forget and move on but now i dont know what to do. i want to add them back. i miss them. i miss talking with them. but i feel like i cant go back.
i only did 5 cuts with a fresh blade cause im in a new house with a roommate and i dont want to get my new shirt messy with blood. one light cut to warm me up, then 4 faster cuts with more pressure. not the widest ive made, but still wide enough to leave visible scars. then i poured some hydrogen peroxide onto my open cuts to wash out the blood and damage it even more. i know pouring hydrogen peroxide is bad, thats why i do it. i want to damage the flesh even more. i dont want it to heal.
part of me wants to add them back
it might be too late. i dont know if they'll reply
i hate this. i just want to wipe my brain of the last couple hours and forget everything again. i wish i could just wipe my memory
i just wanted to forget all of this. i wanted to forget all of it, everything. i treated them like shit and got kicked because of it, so i just wanted to move on and try to be better. i keep telling myself that i wont be able to change, that i'll just fall back into bad habits and keep being a bad person and treated them bad. i was finally beginning to forget. things are going good in my life. i have a job and moved out of my sister's place. i just wanted to forget and move on but now i dont know what to do. i want to add them back. i miss them. i miss talking with them. but i feel like i cant go back.
i only did 5 cuts with a fresh blade cause im in a new house with a roommate and i dont want to get my new shirt messy with blood. one light cut to warm me up, then 4 faster cuts with more pressure. not the widest ive made, but still wide enough to leave visible scars. then i poured some hydrogen peroxide onto my open cuts to wash out the blood and damage it even more. i know pouring hydrogen peroxide is bad, thats why i do it. i want to damage the flesh even more. i dont want it to heal.
part of me wants to add them back
it might be too late. i dont know if they'll reply
i hate this. i just want to wipe my brain of the last couple hours and forget everything again. i wish i could just wipe my memory
Last edited:
