I could use help from someone who has had someone die on them.

[Sleeper System]

I'm at the age where memembers of my family are going to start passing away.
It has me so stressed out and scared because these people don't care about themselves.
They have no plans in place. No financial stability. They're just old and think they'll live forever.

I'm dealing with a step dad figure in and out of the hospital.
A grandma who has had heart surgury and is in bad shape.
A mother who is slowly getting up their in age who still works to live.

My worry is exactly in that order as far as who is in danger of passing first.
Though, the person who has 100% of my worry and anxiety is my mom.

Any advice about how to deal with this would be helpful.
I want to know about peoples stories in dealing with this and the "After death"
side of things like dealing with things after they are gone as far as buriel, the law, cremation, fees, etc.
They are poor and don't have anything to leave behind or assets. So im worried about how that will effect things.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Sadly, I can't help too much with the family side of things. When someone passes away, you do the rituals, mourn them, and then move on. I'm not in a position where I've had to deal with the specifics personally. I'm sure there are people who have this as a job that can help with that, so don't worry too much for now.

Everyone passes away, there's surely a system in place for this. Your mom will be able to deal with it when the time comes. Try not to let the anxiety get on top of you, easier said than done, I know.

 

[Little_Suzy]

This is the epitome of adult immaturity.

It is upsetting to hear about the deaths of elderly people who have no will, life insurance, or assets and rely on others to manage their affairs.

I've had my will and life insurance in place since I was 18, and I don't even have kids! This is not something I will deal with because everyone except my husband has already died.

If someone close to me died without a will or life insurance, I would simply disregard them. Call the authorities to arrange a city-funded pauper's funeral.

Without a will or life insurance naming me as a beneficiary, I told family their bodies would be donated to science. They knew I wasn't playing! This is my advice for you.

 

[Sleeper System]

This is the epitome of adult immaturity.

It is upsetting to hear about the deaths of elderly people who have no will, life insurance, or assets and rely on others to manage their affairs.

I've had my will and life insurance in place since I was 18, and I don't even have kids! This is not something I will deal with because everyone except my husband has already died.

If someone close to me died without a will or life insurance, I would simply disregard them. Call the authorities to arrange a city-funded pauper's funeral.

Without a will or life insurance naming me as a beneficiary, I told family their bodies would be donated to science. They knew I wasn't playing! This is my advice for you.

I understand what you mean but it's not their fault. They come from a different time and enviroment. They were never educated about this sort of stuff. They didn't even know to LOOK for the information. This is the after effects of generational poverty.

Yes. This is what I mean. "Paupers funeral" I want to know more about that. If im there at the hospital when they die can I even claim that? I know there is something about not claiming them so the city has to take charge of things but I don't know how it works.

Thanks for your help. I am a hypocrite in a way because im also not ready myself to be dead as far as what happens after. I have a few grand in an account and zero debt. I think i should just leave a will and a few grand to cremate me. Idk.
T

Sadly, I can't help too much with the family side of things. When someone passes away, you do the rituals, mourn them, and then move on. I'm not in a position where I've had to deal with the specifics personally. I'm sure there are people who have this as a job that can help with that, so don't worry too much for now.

Everyone passes away, there's surely a system in place for this. Your mom will be able to deal with it when the time comes. Try not to let the anxiety get on top of you, easier said than done, I know.

Thank you for the advice. I know all of that but sometimes I need to be reminded that i'm not going to be dealing with this on my own. I will find a way. It's just hard dealing with others dying when you dont even want to live yourself. Im not worried about the mourning part. I mourn myself every day. It's the taking care of the legal stuff after that im worried about.

 

[Little_Suzy]

I understand what you mean but it's not their fault. They come from a different time and enviroment. They were never educated about this sort of stuff. They didn't even know to LOOK for the information. This is the after effects of generational poverty.

Yes. This is what I mean. "Paupers funeral" I want to know more about that. If im there at the hospital when they die can I even claim that? I know there is something about not claiming them so the city has to take charge of things but I don't know how it works.

Thanks for your help. I am a hypocrite in a way because im also not ready myself to be dead as far as what happens after. I have a few grand in an account and zero debt. I think i should just leave a will and a few grand to cremate me. Idk.
T

Thank you for the advice. I know all of that but sometimes I need to be reminded that i'm not going to be dealing with this on my own. I will find a way. It's just hard dealing with others dying when you dont even want to live yourself. Im not worried about the mourning part. I mourn myself every day. It's the taking care of the legal stuff after that im worried about.

Search your city + pauper's funeral, direct cremation, and charities like the United Way. Check their veteran status.

The pauper funeral is for low-income people, not just those who die without a next of kin. You must check the eligibility in your jurisdiction. I don't know where you live.

At the very least, have your mother draw a simple legal will (with witnesses), so that things can be completed quickly and with minimal intervention.

 

[Sleeper System]

Search your city + pauper's funeral, direct cremation, and charities like the United Way. Check their veteran status.

The pauper funeral is for low-income people, not just those who die without a next of kin. You must check the eligibility in your jurisdiction. I don't know where you live.

At the very least, have your mother draw a simple legal will (with witnesses), so that things can be completed quickly and with minimal intervention.

I live in new york. There is something about a form to fill out releasing the body to the state.
It's for low income deceased individuals. It also says the person submitting the form must also be low income and un-able to pay. It's so confusing and overwhelming.

Thank you for the help. I will have to find the time to look into it further.

 

[6ft7]

Have lost both parents in a span of less than six month and they also had no assets apart from a house with an existing mortgage. I thought I didn't hear right when they said the mortgage will be paid by the time they turn 85 (they did at 64 and 65)

In my country when you inherit you inherit everything, including debt. You essentially have to make a decision here - do you accept the inheritance or not. For me it was a gamble, hoping that the house has enough equity to pay off mortgage and loans.

Thankfully it JUST worked out. There was 20k over. With a house worth 350k I called that a close one.

The country I currently live in doesn't have that. You don't inherit debt unless you are the guarantor or named directly on it.

According to Google New York seems to do the same. The estate pays for whatever debt exists and only the rest is given to you.