Venting I could kill myself right now

[ultrasharpy123456]

Mom's out at work, won't be back until 5 pm. It's 10:02 AM where I am. My brother's asleep. My sister is about to leave for work I think. I could go outside and drink my SN right now.

 

[HerculePoirot]

Why outside?

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Why outside?

Because my brother and I share a room and I don't want to make noises, have seizure, and have convulsions while on the bed. Now I could just do it in the bathroom but I'm afraid someone will find me. Also I don't want to be anywhere where someone will hear me and wake me up and bring me to the hospital.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Did you take your AE and Benzos? Did you fast? Your brother could hear you when you are vomiting in the BR. That's still a risk. Are you sure you don't act impulsively rn?

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Did you take your AE and Benzos? Did you fast? Your brother could hear you when you are vomiting in the BR. That's still a risk. Are you sure you don't act impulsively rn?

Well unfortunately he just woke up. Also yes I did fast I didn't eat anything all night. The only thing I did is just drink some water. I also don't have benzos and AE, I only have SN. And yes this isn't impulsive, I'm watching very carefully. It's one of the reasons I haven't killed myself yet.