Venting I checked myself into a psych ward

[gonetoolate]

This was 2.5 months ago at an attempt for help. I was there for 2 weeks being given risperidone which I took for 30 days and a referral to a clinic that was supposed to help with a psychiatrist. It's been 2.5 months and I still have not been linked with a psychiatrist and also have no way of refilling the medication. It didn't work for me anyway but that's not the point. I hate that I went through all of that just for in the end to still be stuck suffering with no help. There was no point. I've tried psychedelics (shrooms and 5meodmt) hoping I'd get some reset butt literally all my attempts did was make me hyper aware that this life is not meant for me. I do not belong here. Humans are cruel, violent, hateful and sad. I cannot find peace even around my friends and family anymore. I don't fit. I find myself isolating more and more and crying all of the time in literal pain at the state of society. I just want to go and be at peace. Why is it so hard? Why do they want to keep us here suffering to make themselves feel better?

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it is horrifying how difficult suicide is, we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit. It is cruel how the society tries to force people to live against their wishes. None of us asked for this awful life in the first place. I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. I also see myself as not being meant for life, I have never wanted to be here at all. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

This was 2.5 months ago at an attempt for help. I was there for 2 weeks being given risperidone which I took for 30 days and a referral to a clinic that was supposed to help with a psychiatrist. It's been 2.5 months and I still have not been linked with a psychiatrist and also have no way of refilling the medication. It didn't work for me anyway but that's not the point. I hate that I went through all of that just for in the end to still be stuck suffering with no help. There was no point. I've tried psychedelics (shrooms and 5meodmt) hoping I'd get some reset butt literally all my attempts did was make me hyper aware that this life is not meant for me. I do not belong here. Humans are cruel, violent, hateful and sad. I cannot find peace even around my friends and family anymore. I don't fit. I find myself isolating more and more and crying all of the time in literal pain at the state of society. I just want to go and be at peace. Why is it so hard? Why do they want to keep us here suffering to make themselves feel better?

They are trying to "save" you. But sometimes we can't be saved. I'm sorry you went through this.

 

[gonetoolate]

To me it is horrifying how difficult suicide is, we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit. It is cruel how the society tries to force people to live against their wishes. None of us asked for this awful life in the first place. I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. I also see myself as not being meant for life, I have never wanted to be here at all. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

I hope you find your peace as well! It truly is sick how we're forced and told life is "a gift" or how we're deemed unwell mentally for not wanting to deal with it. Everything is pointless. Working to keep the rich rich having no time to spend with loved ones. Maybe 1 day of the week for free time. Maybe 2 weeks out of the year for vacation. It's just work, make babies and die. While at the same time try to control what others want to do with their own bodies. I hate it here

They are trying to "save" you. But sometimes we can't be saved. I'm sorry you went through this.

Saving me would be letting me go and not making me feel guilty about wanting to go. It confuses me more and more every day how selfish people can be keeping us here to constantly suffer just so they won't be sad for a little while

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I hope you find your peace as well! It truly is sick how we're forced and told life is "a gift" or how we're deemed unwell mentally for not wanting to deal with it. Everything is pointless. Working to keep the rich rich having no time to spend with loved ones. Maybe 1 day of the week for free time. Maybe 2 weeks out of the year for vacation. It's just work, make babies and die. While at the same time try to control what others want to do with their own bodies. I hate it here

Saving me would be letting me go and not making me feel guilty about wanting to go. It confuses me more and more every day how selfish people can be keeping us here to constantly suffer just so they won't be sad for a little while

They think you are delusional.

 

[Judy Garland]

I don't belong in this world either. I've become a shut in, an Invalid who only goes out in the early morning to buy groceries once a week. This world IS cruel, and humans are cruel, cold, and distant from each other. This is the world they made it, and they started long ago...now they reap what they sew, and they don't like that. Life after life this world is exactly how they wanted it. I can't be here anymore; my time is soon.

 

[gonetoolate]

In a month I'm going to an Ayahuasca retreat which is my last attempt at trying to "fix me" if that doesn't work then I know nothing else will and then I'm gone. I've already began telling my family and friends which they have not taken seriously. I had one friend tell me that she didn't want to talk about my thoughts because it was ruining her fun for the night. Made me feel great

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

In a month I'm going to an Ayahuasca retreat which is my last attempt at trying to "fix me" if that doesn't work then I know nothing else will and then I'm gone. I've already began telling my family and friends which they have not taken seriously. I had one friend tell me that she didn't want to talk about my thoughts because it was ruining her fun for the night. Made me feel great

I don't share my dark thoughts with anybody anymore… It's too much of a bummer… That's one of the benefits of SS…

 

[ihopethisispainless]

I've tried psychedelics (shrooms and 5meodmt) hoping I'd get some reset butt literally all my attempts did was make me hyper aware that this life is not meant for me.

same. Psychedelics are hell for me.