I can't understand how anyone working a regular job doesn't kill themselves immediately

[Plentiful_Despair]

I'm 22, never able to work and tried literally every kind of job. They all make me want to actively kill myself when I wake up in the morning and need to get ready for work after a few days, even part-time, I held the barrel to my head several times in the last year but couldn't pull the trigger. This is the most frustrating thing about existing to me, that almost everyone else can actually earn money and still has energy and will to live their lifes.

And regardless of who I talked to (many therapists over many years...) no one understands what I mean. They literally laughed at me, like I'm insane for questioning the validity of the holy capitalistic system.

 

[lotus11]

Agree. This makes perfect sense to me...I'm 10 years older than you and can confirm it does not get any better.

 

[Hotsackage]

Erase money and see what the world does

 

[offbalance]

you're not alone :( work makes me even more suicidal than I already am which says a lot. So I don't. I did manage to keep a job for three years but not without burdening them the entire time with my attendance and performance lol. And that was a night shift stocking job with virtually no customers

 

[sugarb]

I'm 19, haven't had a "real job" yet and I genuinely hope I kill myself before I ever get one. I've done a few job-adjacent activities (work study, church stuff, etc) and they all sucked ass, doing that for 8 fucking hours 5 days a week till I'm 60+ would be unbearable

 

[Gangrel]

I do that 45 hours a week, wake up at 7 am everyday and sit my ass in an office until the sun goes down, it's not fun by any means, pay the bills but i'm tired all the time. I don't see the point in living like this, i can't afford better things by the way, i'm barely surviving, one of the main reasons i wanna ctb. I will never be happy doing this. It's sick.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I don't see why anyone would want to get up every morning and shower , dress , clean , cook eat , groceries , deal with problems , to do lists, responsibilities , chores , stress, worry, wash clothes, work a job and then get up again the next day non stop . What for ? There is no reason. i hate working, chores, and doing all this labor every day just to exist so something even more horrible will happen to me and then get old and tortured by old age

all this shit sucks. i hate life existence and working. i hate doing anything much more because there isn't any reason to.

i would still prefer non-existence asap even if i were rich or i didn't have to do much . i hate existence and living

 

[RueTheRavenPrincess]

I'm 22, never able to work and tried literally every kind of job. They all make me want to actively kill myself when I wake up in the morning and need to get ready for work after a few days, even part-time, I held the barrel to my head several times in the last year but couldn't pull the trigger. This is the most frustrating thing about existing to me, that almost everyone else can actually earn money and still has energy and will to live their lifes.

And regardless of who I talked to (many therapists over many years...) no one understands what I mean. They literally laughed at me, like I'm insane for questioning the validity of the holy capitalistic system.

have you tried seasonal work? its the only kind of work ive done thats not draining or depressing whatsoever. working does usually suck. im 23, and my advice is to try a ski-resort job or a job thats almost all play with less work and provides housing and a support system with built in friends and family-like structures. Best thing I ever did and I often think i'm excessively suicidal becuase I *miss* working so damn much! No work compares. fun jobs do exist even if they dont make for good careers. the old addage of "if you like your job you will never work a day in your life" is very true here at least for me. In every other job I would HATE waking up. I could hardly beleive that I was happy every morning, not one day where I was unhappy to go to work, it just didnt feel like a job. plus my same sentiment seems shared by everyone I met in that line of work. check out Coolworks.com, they compile fun lighthearted seasonal job postings.
(take all that with a grain of salt ofc, just my two cents on the issue of work.)

 

[Unknown21]

I'm 22, never able to work and tried literally every kind of job. They all make me want to actively kill myself when I wake up in the morning and need to get ready for work after a few days, even part-time, I held the barrel to my head several times in the last year but couldn't pull the trigger. This is the most frustrating thing about existing to me, that almost everyone else can actually earn money and still has energy and will to live their lifes.

And regardless of who I talked to (many therapists over many years...) no one understands what I mean. They literally laughed at me, like I'm insane for questioning the validity of the holy capitalistic system.

Agreed, the longest time I ever worked was when I was preparing to suicide because I knew I wouldn't work again, completing my plan was the main goal. Ik i will never be able to work and get along with people.

 

[Kmpa]

I don't know. I've started working in tech and I feel like I work for the machine. Everything I do, is with the porpuse of making other people earn more money. I lost all motivation, and what once was my passion now I don't want to see past 5.

The way to survive this is really horrible, I find myself turned into an automaton. And even then, I feel like throwing myself out of the office window, like one single act of courage from an entire life of robot-like complacency.


Side Note: There is a really good essay about that, The Abolition of Work from Bob Black, really recommend it.

 

[Adûnâi]

@sserafim related^^

I've never worked a day in my life, my mom cooks for me, I'm 27. Maybe I'd do it if I lived in a socialist ethnostate with a tradwaifu, be it Israel or the DPRK (or Afghanistan). But not in a capitalist hellhole.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm 22, never able to work and tried literally every kind of job. They all make me want to actively kill myself when I wake up in the morning and need to get ready for work after a few days, even part-time, I held the barrel to my head several times in the last year but couldn't pull the trigger. This is the most frustrating thing about existing to me, that almost everyone else can actually earn money and still has energy and will to live their lifes.

And regardless of who I talked to (many therapists over many years...) no one understands what I mean. They literally laughed at me, like I'm insane for questioning the validity of the holy capitalistic system.

I feel the same.... Working for 50 years or more is horrible.
I will probably work until death. Scraping by.
Who would want to stay alive for that?????
I think your therapists are the ones who are insane !!!

 

[outrider567]

I'm 22, never able to work and tried literally every kind of job. They all make me want to actively kill myself when I wake up in the morning and need to get ready for work after a few days, even part-time, I held the barrel to my head several times in the last year but couldn't pull the trigger. This is the most frustrating thing about existing to me, that almost everyone else can actually earn money and still has energy and will to live their lifes.

And regardless of who I talked to (many therapists over many years...) no one understands what I mean. They literally laughed at me, like I'm insane for questioning the validity of the holy capitalistic system.

Office Space(1999)

 

[derpyderpins]

No one should laugh at you for that concern. Although until proven otherwise some type of work will always be necessary, capatilist society or otherwise.

It's tough. There definitely are better and worse jobs, but at the end of the day it is still going to take most of your life. I am the "normie king" on here because I reject black and white absolutism about work and blackpill stuff but I absolutely understand the prospect of working your life away causing dread.

I don't have magic answers, but there are two things you can think about: making work suck less and making the time outside work better to compensate.

To make work suck less, you can:

• Find jobs that are lower stress
• find jobs that take less of your time (fewer hours/part time/remote)
• find jobs with less commute
• work with better people
• take care of yourself so you have more energy
• take care of your mind. I know "mindset" advice is annoying but it does help.

To make life outside of work better. . . that's really up to you. For me financial independence, love and marriage, and the ability to live in the area I want and pursue the hobbies I want to the extent I want has all helped give me some motivation. Being friends with people IRL and interacting on this site give me some purpose as well.

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

Worked at call centers for 10 years can never last more than a year at a job. I just don't give a shit and am always getting in trouble. Every time the phone rings I get a full on anxiety attack. Walking on eggshells because I don't want the customer to yell at me but that means I can't follow all processes so my boss ends up yelling at me. I've come to realise things will never get better. I stopped looking when I cross the street so at least when I get hit by a bus I'll either die or be hospitalised and won't have to work. The first time I woke up in hospital from an overdose I thought it would change my life. At least make people realise there's something wrong with me. But it was so peaceful to overdose on heroin I'm definitely going to ctb that way. But being on drugs make the day bearable. Seriously considering moving to the uk where drugs are cheap and plentiful. And I know I'll end up overdoing it and die because they'd be no one there to check on me in the morning to see I'm still breathing. Going to order some nitazenes and snort a big fat line and sleep forever. Benzos don't even work for me anymore. Life would be okay without anxiety because then I could socialise and make a friend. At some point in life you realise your gonna be lonely forever so you don't even bother trying to make friends. My only release is screaming in my car for an hour a night.

 

[eden101]

won't have to worry about it when i'm dead.

 

[Plentiful_Despair]

No one should laugh at you for that concern. Although until proven otherwise some type of work will always be necessary, capatilist society or otherwise.

It's tough. There definitely are better and worse jobs, but at the end of the day it is still going to take most of your life. I am the "normie king" on here because I reject black and white absolutism about work and blackpill stuff but I absolutely understand the prospect of working your life away causing dread.

I don't have magic answers, but there are two things you can think about: making work suck less and making the time outside work better to compensate.

To make work suck less, you can:

• Find jobs that are lower stress
• find jobs that take less of your time (fewer hours/part time/remote)
• find jobs with less commute
• work with better people
• take care of yourself so you have more energy
• take care of your mind. I know "mindset" advice is annoying but it does help.

To make life outside of work better. . . that's really up to you. For me financial independence, love and marriage, and the ability to live in the area I want and pursue the hobbies I want to the extent I want has all helped give me some motivation. Being friends with people IRL and interacting on this site give me some purpose as well.

I understand that at least some sort of work will always be needed to have a functioning society, that's why I hate it so much that I can't even do the bare minimum without having a completel mental breakdown. A job wouldn't solve my other causes for being suicidal, but at least I wouldn't have to live from government money, not knowing how long this will even continue. I was told by the guy in the jobcenter that its possible they will just kinda force me into some random job in the near future because I never held any position longer than two weeks and its causing bad attention, and if I can't work at that position too then I will get zero money. So, basically forcing me and anyone else similar into committing suicide.

 

[willitpass]

Up until recently when my mental/physical health have made me quit until I CTB, I worked in healthcare and genuinely loved my job. It's been my calling since I was young. I felt like I was genuinely making a difference and felt a purpose and passion for what I did. It was a very flexible schedule as well. That's how some people are able to work, is if they felt a genuine calling and passion to a meaningful job. It's killed me that I've had to step away. My only consultation is it is only a few more weeks until my bus.

That said, before that job I worked food service and went home practically in tears every day. I'd had a couple other meaningless jobs as well. They did not fulfill me. I didn't feel like I was helping people or moving society forward. It was mind numbing and meaningless. That's why I won't be getting another job to make extra money while I wait for my bus. I will happily work for a job I care about, but if the option is between not working at all or being a wage slave then I will not work.

 

[badtothebone]

I'm 22, never able to work and tried literally every kind of job. They all make me want to actively kill myself when I wake up in the morning and need to get ready for work after a few days, even part-time, I held the barrel to my head several times in the last year but couldn't pull the trigger. This is the most frustrating thing about existing to me, that almost everyone else can actually earn money and still has energy and will to live their lifes.

And regardless of who I talked to (many therapists over many years...) no one understands what I mean. They literally laughed at me, like I'm insane for questioning the validity of the holy capitalistic system.

I being working full time RN at the worse traumatic floor ICU for almost 11 years since I was 23. It's overwhelming I lost my son while trying to save patients. I regret this career and now with child loss I literally actively thinking about ending my life

I'm 19, haven't had a "real job" yet and I genuinely hope I kill myself before I ever get one. I've done a few job-adjacent activities (work study, church stuff, etc) and they all sucked ass, doing that for 8 fucking hours 5 days a week till I'm 60+ would be unbearable

You're not the only one saying this, my brother is 19 and told me he just can't do full time. He's suicidal too. This is very sad!!

 

[Ironborn]

You never have time to think about it. You work, go home, eat and sleep then go back to work.
It just becomes a habit, everything is for the few meagre days off a year you get.
After almost 20 years of work I snapped and tried to ctb, I quit the day after, that was in January.
Since then I have had the time to really think and there is no way I am getting dragged back into the system.
Once my savings are gone I'm out, permanently.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't understand either. I think that people who work aren't living but rather merely surviving. It's such a miserable existence. I have to kill myself before I get a job so that I won't ever have to be a wage slave. Life is so miserable and it makes no sense to me as to how many people enjoy life. I don't see anything in life that proves that the positives outweigh the negatives

 

[uglyugly]

Well, I hate my job and do not care for the boss in my department. However, I really like my coworkers and they are the closest thing to friends I have. So, I would miss them if I quit.... a lot. They are quite supportive.

I've had jobs that were so awful that I wanted to ctb just because of them. I had to quit them or I would have.

 

[TakeMeToHeaven]

wageslavery is my biggest fear

 

[Surai]

Ive been in it and it does feel like it rips time away and makes you age faster, no time for anything else, no time for anything at all. I wish when it felt rewarding not a chore

 

[landslide2]

A four-day work week is long overdue for starters. But even before that would be fair living wages which is decades overdue. And if people were given more incentive, like some ownership in the place they work it would help with motivation. But business and bosses prefer a desperate work force they can exploit and all the profits ending up in as few hands as possible.

The command to return to offices from remote-working was nothing more than reasserting control over workers. It was already proven that remote workers were productive and less stressed. And no one is more worried about declining birth rates than big business, which sees cheap labor disappearing over time as a natural outcome.

 

[Lost_the_will2_live]

Ironically I work in mental health…… first job I've ever had where I can actually relate to others, funny how I want to help save other people from misery but not myself.

And no I'm not a pro lifer.

 

[doneforlife]

You never have time to think about it. You work, go home, eat and sleep then go back to work.
It just becomes a habit, everything is for the few meagre days off a year you get.
After almost 20 years of work I snapped and tried to ctb, I quit the day after, that was in January.
Since then I have had the time to really think and there is no way I am getting dragged back into the system.
Once my savings are gone I'm out, permanently.

Once the savings are gone , and if you fail, how are you going to handle it.

 

[Ironborn]

Once the savings are gone , and if you fail, how are you going to handle it.

Honestly I'm not that worried about it, I'll deal with it as it comes.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

A few years ago I packed up my stuff and fucked off from my abusive parents' house permanently. I had to provide for myself, so I took whatever job I could, and making more money was the only thing that mattered to me. After a few years of doing that, I have a good amount of savings and I've been investing it in index funds for the entire time.

Nowadays I'm back in school and I'm pretty far along in the interview process for a job that I would actually find to be fulfilling, even though the pay is not as good as what I used to make. However, my main focus is still my degree and then a 9-5 job because after providing for myself for the past few years I'm still paranoid about going broke and having to ask my parents for money. I need the relatively stability and nice pay check from a 9-5 job no matter what.

 

[nobob]

Being depressed doesn't mean that you are wrong. Therapists should know this.