Venting i cant talk to anyone and no one cares anyways

[kuroLilith]

i feel so alone, i have no one to talk to who understands. ive had suicidal ideation for more than a decade. it just gets worse every year. ive been on all kinds of medications and nothing works. i cant tell my therapist fully what i feel cus i dont want to get locked up and honestly cant afford to. my partner used to insist that if i ever felt bad enough i could just talk to them about it because they want to be there for me, but that was a lie. i found out they were complaining about me, saying how "annoying" i am and my suicidal ideation is "fake" among other hurtful things. i was devastated and stopped sharing. then they complained to me how i never share my feelings or thoughts. i just dont understand. do i have to successfully ctb to be taken seriously??? im at a loss, things havent been getting better despite what everyone claims. i feel stuck, like im just slowly rotting, alone.

 

[Kobusu]

If you could talk to them, do you know what you would say? I'm just asking because i know how hard and suffocating it is to feel like you're by yourself in your struggles, but it's also hard when people find others they can open up to because they haven't become comfortable with it and don't know what to say.

 

[Enlighten]

I'm sorry you're going through this alone, nobody should have to do that. I care for you and i love you.
I'd love for you to share what you're going through and i will listen to you wholeheartedly.