Venting I CANT NEVER DECIDE

[fools]

I CANT EVER EVER EVER DECIDE ON WHAT TO DO!!!!!!! I CANT DECIDE ON WHO I AM!!!!!! I Dont know if i want or should die but i feel like i alReady Know what my fate is . Its Predeterimed For me & theres Nothing i can do about it. I dont Know how or When or Why but i am Sure i won t live a long life & i Know my death will be by my own hands. it is FreeiNg to Think about ina way & Truthfully i am Excited to see whats beyond this life. I wont have the capacity to be disappointed if it ends up being Nothing. I dont Know if i am a good or bad person. I dont even Know if good or bad person are even Accurate Measurments of how a person should be Judged. Though the label itself does have its significance in society …… I Keep alternating between thinking i am Beyond salvaging & having a sliver of. a SHEred of Hope about my self & my life . It is Funny in a way. Every time my life improves something Always manages to sabotage it! It has been so very Ironic! Funny, even! Of course this would happen!!!! It is Like my life is a silly little play & i Am watching everything Crumble . Maybe i should stop taking thibgs so Seriously, If i Know how it Will end anyways…… bUt still, My brain, Still thinks about consequences . Hm