Venting I can’t live without her

[piddincir]

It's been 11 weeks since I lost my wife, best friend and soulmate to suicide.

It's all has consumed me since the night I came home and found her. I miss her so much , like you miss your eyes or hands if they were gone because she was more apart of me then they ever where.

A life without her I cannot live.

I will soon be with you my love.

Here is my final poem I wrote you my beautiful Lizzie, your life mattered . It was my world. I love forever and always.

Tomorrow never comes

Tomorrow comes just not for me,
Left alone forever to be,
Our time together came and went,
And now my heart is all but spent,

Without you there can be no me,
Left adrift on this lonely sea,
You were my heart, my love, my soul,
Left broken now in this desolate hole,

I wish I could have lent you my eyes,
So you could see through your deceiving disguise,
To the woman I always loved and knew,
Always to me, sadly never for you,

Our love to you was always enough,
the world outside that was just too rough,
To break you down to you couldn't bear,
And left our fairytale in despair,

All our hopes, our wishes, our dreams,
Echo now through voiceless screams,
I miss you always and love you, forever!
Just sadly for us our eternity is never,

Goodbye Liz

 

[until death]

I'm very sorry for your loss

 

[piddincir]

I love your user name it really sums up how I feel and the vows I made her when I married her, 'until death' do we part. and we will never part spiritually but our bodies have departed .

 

[грустная сука]

I've always yearned for a love like this. I'm very sorry for your loss, for what it's worth.

 

[piddincir]

I've always yearned for a love like this. I'm very sorry for your loss, for what it's worth.

Thank you , it was the pinnacle of what two humans can achieve in life and I am the luckiest man alive for having this for 10 years. Regardless of how it ended if I could go back in time to when we met knowing I couldn't change the outcome I would do it all over in a heartbeat

 

[idonothing]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the depth of your grief, but I do relate very deeply to the feeling of not being able to go on without the love of your life by your side. The emptiness you must feel. I don't know you, but I have much love for you. Now, she rests in peace. Take care, piddincir.

 

[piddincir]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the depth of your grief, but I do relate very deeply to the feeling of not being able to go on without the love of your life by your side. The emptiness you must feel. I don't know you, but I have much love for you. Now, she rests in peace. Take care, piddincir.

thank you my friend, it's been an empty and lonely void, I can be in a room filled with love but fell only emptiness and loneliness. Nothing else mattered in life and I know I died too that night I found her. I cannot wait to join her soon.

This site is my only solace and I thank you all for listening

 

[annointed_towers]

I'm so sorry for your loss and the trauma of finding her. What was her method if you don't mind my asking? What will be yours?

 

[flightless bird]

i am so sorry. incredible pain it is, unending despair, a black hole within the soul. i know that words mean nothing here...

 

[outrider567]

It's been 11 weeks since I lost my wife, best friend and soulmate to suicide.

It's all has consumed me since the night I came home and found her. I miss her so much , like you miss your eyes or hands if they were gone because she was more apart of me then they ever where.

A life without her I cannot live.

I will soon be with you my love.

Here is my final poem I wrote you my beautiful Lizzie, your life mattered . It was my world. I love forever and always.

Tomorrow never comes

Tomorrow comes just not for me,
Left alone forever to be,
Our time together came and went,
And now my heart is all but spent,

Without you there can be no me,
Left adrift on this lonely sea,
You were my heart, my love, my soul,
Left broken now in this desolate hole,

I wish I could have lent you my eyes,
So you could see through your deceiving disguise,
To the woman I always loved and knew,
Always to me, sadly never for you,

Our love to you was always enough,
the world outside that was just too rough,
To break you down to you couldn't bear,
And left our fairytale in despair,

All our hopes, our wishes, our dreams,
Echo now through voiceless screams,
I miss you always and love you, forever!
Just sadly for us our eternity is never,

Goodbye Liz

Well said--Without my Patti, this is a desolate world indeed, and has been so for 2 long years

 

[ThisUnrest]

So sorry for your loss. @piddincir @outrider567 Love to you both. Losing your life partner is horrendous. I strongly believe if we lived in a compassionate world, a peaceful exit would be offered to those left behind.

 

[piddincir]

I'm so sorry for your loss and the trauma of finding her. What was her method if you don't mind my asking? What will be yours?

Of course now. She taped a bag round her head. The fucked yo thing I got the tox report back a week ago. She was 3 times the legal limit. I had found a stash of lorazepam 20 pills , 10 missing but she hadn't taken any or drunk that much. She hadn't left a note like on previous occasion , makes me this this was misadventure gone wrong, idk if that makes it better or worse . I guess it just is what it is. I thought she died quickly but from her Fitbit data looks like she was alive a lot longer than I thought . She did look peaceful thought

I have nitrogen and an exit bag. I was waiting for her ashes as I want them mixed as my dying wish

 

[piddincir]

Well said--Without my Patti, this is a desolate world indeed, and has been so for 2 long years

I am sorry for your loss too my friend, it's around the holidays these loses seem even more intense. Losing your person is the worst pain imaginable.

Two years is a long time too . Sending love

 

[Catch-22]

It's been 11 weeks since I lost my wife, best friend and soulmate to suicide.

It's all has consumed me since the night I came home and found her. I miss her so much , like you miss your eyes or hands if they were gone because she was more apart of me then they ever where.

A life without her I cannot live.

I will soon be with you my love.

Here is my final poem I wrote you my beautiful Lizzie, your life mattered . It was my world. I love forever and always.

Tomorrow never comes

Tomorrow comes just not for me,
Left alone forever to be,
Our time together came and went,
And now my heart is all but spent,

Without you there can be no me,
Left adrift on this lonely sea,
You were my heart, my love, my soul,
Left broken now in this desolate hole,

I wish I could have lent you my eyes,
So you could see through your deceiving disguise,
To the woman I always loved and knew,
Always to me, sadly never for you,

Our love to you was always enough,
the world outside that was just too rough,
To break you down to you couldn't bear,
And left our fairytale in despair,

All our hopes, our wishes, our dreams,
Echo now through voiceless screams,
I miss you always and love you, forever!
Just sadly for us our eternity is never,

Goodbye Liz

I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[piddincir]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Thank you not going to lie it's been a hard day and I am very drunk but it's been extra hard today . This place is really a great place to just get things off your chest and love to you all

 

[absolutelyyou]

You had a beautiful love that many dont ever get to experience, and for that I am joyous for you. No mater what I'd always do everything again to find who I did so I feel your pain in that way and for that my heart weeps for you. I hope you can find peace and in some way be reunited with your person, the one with whom your soul delights.

 

[IWishToDie]

I can't offer advice, but I can point you to something that may help you. A woman recently died from cancer in America. Her name was Jenny Apple and she was a family vlogger on YouTube. The death was a month ago and it has hit her husband Kyle quite hard. I would suggest following his videos and letting yourself cry along, maybe reach out to Kyle and give him your support and say that you're in a similar situation. You may not be able to talk with him but I'm sure it would be worth a try. Good luck, I'm sure your partner would want you to hang in there as long as you can to honour the life she couldn't bring herself to live, if that makes sense. Feel no shame in your emotions friend. Best wishes.

 

[piddincir]

Thanks mate, had a look, truly heartbreaking, and those poor kids who will grow up without a mother. There is someone else who always has it worse than you. I feel no shame in my emotions, I cry all the time, I cry myself to sleep at night, I wake in the night after dreaming of her in tears and I wake to an empty and hopeless existence in tears.

In a sick way I would have rather lost my wife to cancer, that way at least I could have said goodbye, we had always agreed if one of us was terminally ill we would go together, hand in hand in our bed. I wish for that more than anything. It would have been easier than everything seeming fine, her waving and kissing me off to work then to come home find her cold lifeless body, me all alone forever in this cruel world.

We never wanted children as our love was always enough for us, I am no truly alone, no one to live for, no life worth living, no hope for happiness.

You're right she would have wanted me to live, I know this, but she lost the right to that when she took her own life. She was my world