Venting I can't live any longer

[throughtheglass]

I've ordered SN yesterday. My whole life is a hell. I used to be a gifted kid, now I am wreck of myself. There's no me left since my ex (who I still love) dumped me. I can't forget him, I miss him dearly even if I was toxic towards him. There's nothing I could fix about that relationship. I failed my first year in college and everything has gone to shit. The worst part of CTB could be the fact that my internet friends won't find out about it. How should I plan my leaving before CTB?

 

[WornOutLife]

Nobody is here to judge you, I'm sure you really love your ex but there's plenty of fish in the sea!

Anyway, if you really decide to CTB, I think that your leaving should consist on:

-Goodbye letters to those you love
-Kinda testament so that they know what to do with your stuff
-Leave everything clean and in order.
-Pay your bills (well, this is optional because there are some things such as the credit card which don't to be paid)

And I think that's basically it.

Wish you the best with whatever you decision you make. Hope you find peace!

Hugs

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I've ordered SN yesterday. My whole life is a hell. I used to be a gifted kid, now I am wreck of myself. There's no me left since my ex (who I still love) dumped me. I can't forget him, I miss him dearly even if I was toxic towards him. There's nothing I could fix about that relationship. I failed my first year in college and everything has gone to shit. The worst part of CTB could be the fact that my internet friends won't find out about it. How should I plan my leaving before CTB?

Wait, you are afraid that your internet friends WON'T find out about it? I would just prefer to be forgotten totally but i understand people have different methods.

You should definitely set up a will although you are young you probably have few assets. If you barely have any money I also suggest taking out as many credit cards as you can and if you are truly serious about CTB you should max them out and donate to various charities .Great way to screw society on your way down if you are vindictive against certain financial and government institutions. If you later decide to bail on the CTB then just call the credit card up and say donation was made in error they should be willing to put it back on the card

 

[torimandy]

I've ordered SN yesterday. My whole life is a hell. I used to be a gifted kid, now I am wreck of myself. There's no me left since my ex (who I still love) dumped me. I can't forget him, I miss him dearly even if I was toxic towards him. There's nothing I could fix about that relationship. I failed my first year in college and everything has gone to shit. The worst part of CTB could be the fact that my internet friends won't find out about it. How should I plan my leaving before CTB?

In this age internet friends aren't even real unless wou have met them face to face IRL and seen the color of their eyes. If you are planning on broadcasting your cbt i suggest you seek some help as to broadcast is a sign of suicidal gesture and not an actual attempt. I deleted every social media platform myself before the last attempt. Not 1 person knew what was on my mind and I was actually happy when I had decided to make an end out of it. A kind of peace as it were. I support you completely, but if it's a gesture and you are unsucessful, I can tell you from personal experience that you are not going to like the attention it brings you.

 

[makingsure4]

Oh there is a book by Geo Stone on suicide that supposedly has a whole section on if you just want make a gesture and not really hurt yourself but are trying to get attention...for help or whatever other reasons. Some of his out of print book is also copied to his websight suicide methods.

 

[Lost Magic]

I always find it sad that people who have loved ones, who they care about, but still don't want to be here. I don't have any dependents, pets or anybody that will really give a shit about my absence. Well not to the point of them not being able to move on. Please try and work out something before you consider ctb. It should be a last resort, especially if you have others who care about you.