Venting I can’t keep this up

[(ノ_＜)]

I don't understand why I feel this way anymore, he broke up with me and that's that but now I'm just lonely. We left on good terms too but I still don't understand this feeling. It makes things worse when seeing him hanging out with people we both know despise me and it fuels this jealousy that causes a deep pain in my chest to spike. I would do anything to have him back, to know that I'm his and he's mine but that's not an option anymore. And on top of all this I was in a deep spiral of depression before he broke up too. I was already planning on doing something but now I don't want to because I don't want him to think it's my fault, but all this stress is getting to much and I just want it to end. Sometime within the next month or so I will be attempting to ctb by overdose. Until then I'll try to start getting things ready. I want to sell my computer and my consoles, Fix the car and sell it, and then put the money in an account accessible to my parents or family. I don't enjoy what this has come to but I don't know what else to do anymore.

-R

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

Overdose is not recommended

 

[amor.dor]

Try to take some real time just for yourself before making this decision. Just do things you enjoy without thinking about these suffocating problems — to be sure, since suicide, once done, can't be undone. And I don't think overdose is an effective method; it's more likely to leave you hospitalized and worse off than you are now, rather than kill you. Most medications also have a very wide safety margin against overdose. Take care.

 

[bluebus]

I am so sorry. I am going through a breakup as well. Although it is my fault. I try, but I just can't let myself ever be happy. I messed up something so perfect and beautiful. I hate myself even more now. Please remember that you him breaking up with you is not a reflection on you. Take some time to process everything, and don't do something impulsive that will leave you with unsatisfactory results. Best of luck.