Venting I can't keep faking it

[WonderingSoul]

I am so burned out from the amount of college/school-work I've had to for the past few years. It's just so ridiculous to me that if I just had competent parents who weren't abusive, I probably wouldn't have even heard of this site. I just want a break from the absurd amount of work, but I also don't want to go back and be forced to stay with them because I fucking hate them. They don't like the idea of a younger generation having it easier so they won't lend me any support in what I do. I just want rest, or some kind of gap year where I don't do any kind of school work. I hate how hard everyone makes everything. I don't always need to needlessly be working or on the same life path as my friend. My parents' little plan to make me a functioning member of society backfired because right now I'm just tired. Since I don't have much money, I run the risk of being homeless because I don't want to go back and live in their house.

When I was younger, I always hated the very idea of being homeless so I tried my best in school. Turns out, life doesn't automatically work like that and even if you do have a college degree/high school diploma, you could still end up homeless. In my case, I might end up in such a situation if I could just go escape from my parents. My dad is paying for my apartment for college at the moment, while I pay him some for anything else at the moment. Soon, they'll find out about my grades and they might stop paying for the apartment. At that point, I'd don't know what to do, hopefully I might CTB by then. It's why I went back to practicing partial hanging.

Sorry this post is messy. There has been so much that I had to get off my mind.

I do work part time, at least for now. Maybe sooner or later I'll have to put more hours in but I don't know because if I were to become homeless, I'd have no clue what to do. No way am I going to a homeless shelter, I haven't heard anything good about those. Going to try my best to CTB whenever I can.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It's a bitch juggling school and work. Many years ago when I was in college, I worked a full-time job and was in school full-time. I was burned-out too. I paid for my own tuition, but I lived at home, which was a big help. But, it's all I did, school and work. There really wasn't time for anything else, except in the summer, when I worked even more. I wouldn't want to do it again, that's for sure. All I could do was keep my head down, keep going, let off steam any way I could, and keep my eye on the prize, knowing it wasn't going to last forever. Nothing lasts forever in this world. Others were going through the same thing and knowing that helped a little. Still, it was hard.

 

[makethepainstop]

I am so burned out from the amount of college/school-work I've had to for the past few years. It's just so ridiculous to me that if I just had competent parents who weren't abusive, I probably wouldn't have even heard of this site. I just want a break from the absurd amount of work, but I also don't want to go back and be forced to stay with them because I fucking hate them. They don't like the idea of a younger generation having it easier so they won't lend me any support in what I do. I just want rest, or some kind of gap year where I don't do any kind of school work. I hate how hard everyone makes everything. I don't always need to needlessly be working or on the same life path as my friend. My parents' little plan to make me a functioning member of society backfired because right now I'm just tired. Since I don't have much money, I run the risk of being homeless because I don't want to go back and live in their house.

When I was younger, I always hated the very idea of being homeless so I tried my best in school. Turns out, life doesn't automatically work like that and even if you do have a college degree/high school diploma, you could still end up homeless. In my case, I might end up in such a situation if I could just go escape from my parents. My dad is paying for my apartment for college at the moment, while I pay him some for anything else at the moment. Soon, they'll find out about my grades and they might stop paying for the apartment. At that point, I'd don't know what to do, hopefully I might CTB by then. It's why I went back to practicing partial hanging.

Sorry this post is messy. There has been so much that I had to get off my mind.

I do work part time, at least for now. Maybe sooner or later I'll have to put more hours in but I don't know because if I were to become homeless, I'd have no clue what to do. No way am I going to a homeless shelter, I haven't heard anything good about those. Going to try my best to CTB whenever I can.

I know your hurting, as are most of us here. But sometimes we all need a break from our daily grind. Perhaps taking a short vacation and having a little down time might make you feel better. Much love to you.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really stressful and tiring what you have to endure. This life does just seem to be endless suffering and unnecessary problems, it's such a cruel existence that brings people to this point. But I wish you the best.