byebyeburdee
I'm a loser, baby.
- Dec 12, 2021
- 24
My whole life is in chaos. PTSD, debt, legal problems, abandoned by family and friends. And now I find out I'm hitting menopause (early due to a hysterectomy from endometriosis). I've tried to ctb seriously a couple times in the past, and "casually" or haphazardly at least once a week for the past few months. You know the kind of attempt where you're just like, "Eh, f it. I'll do this risky thing, and if that's the end, that's fine with me."
But I feel like the menopause shit on top of everything else is just too much all at once for one person to bear. I can't overcome these things and I don't care anymore.
I've tried so hard to stay here for the people I care about, but when nobody else cares back until you're literally dangling from a ledge, why bother? If they didn't want me dead, wouldn't they text back when I say stuff like "I'm scared" or "I don't know what to do anymore" or even "hey, how was your day?" My dad even tells me to literally stop texting him so much.
They think they care, but they don't care enough to show up when I really need someone. And yet I'm the selfish one for attempting...
I'm just so tired of being told to carry on when nobody gets how much shit I have to carry with me.
But I feel like the menopause shit on top of everything else is just too much all at once for one person to bear. I can't overcome these things and I don't care anymore.
I've tried so hard to stay here for the people I care about, but when nobody else cares back until you're literally dangling from a ledge, why bother? If they didn't want me dead, wouldn't they text back when I say stuff like "I'm scared" or "I don't know what to do anymore" or even "hey, how was your day?" My dad even tells me to literally stop texting him so much.
They think they care, but they don't care enough to show up when I really need someone. And yet I'm the selfish one for attempting...
I'm just so tired of being told to carry on when nobody gets how much shit I have to carry with me.