Venting I can't get over the failed attempt

[ALittleBurden]

I'm still trying to make a new plan, and in the new year I may be able to purchase SN, but it doesn't help me with the failed attempt.

I attempted in August, fortunately I have no injuries from it, but I can't get over the failure mentally.

I'm so disappointed and pissed at myself. I should have died back then, I was so certain that I would succeed, but somehow I managed to fail. Since then every second of living has been a nightmare; constant pain that I cannot get used to. Memories of my family finding me may be my biggest trauma (and the bar was pretty high), so naturally I'm way more anxious about next attempt.

I hate myself so much for failing. I want to beat the shit out of myself for this. I should have died back then, I should have died.

Just wish me luck with the next try.

 

[Rohit]

I'm still trying to make a new plan, and in the new year I may be able to purchase SN, but it doesn't help me with the failed attempt.

I attempted in August, fortunately I have no injuries from it, but I can't get over the failure mentally.

I'm so disappointed and pissed at myself. I should have died back then, I was so certain that I would succeed, but somehow I managed to fail. Since then every second of living has been a nightmare; constant pain that I cannot get used to. Memories of my family finding me may be my biggest trauma (and the bar was pretty high), so naturally I'm way more anxious about next attempt.

I hate myself so much for failing. I want to beat the shit out of myself for this. I should have died back then, I should have died.

Just wish me luck with the next try.

May I know the regime you followed

 

[ALittleBurden]

May I know the regime you followed

I tried full suspension, but the materials failed me, then I tried partial but I had problems with getting it right, lost a lot of time, and was eventually found when passing out.

 

[nbn]

I tried full suspension, but the materials failed me, then I tried partial but I had problems with getting it right, lost a lot of time, and was eventually found when passing out.

What do you mean by materials failed you?

 

[Sweet Release]

If the pain is so unbearable that you need to take your own life then I wish you luck.
Must have been so frustrating when the attempt failed.

 

[dominodux]

I'm still trying to make a new plan, and in the new year I may be able to purchase SN, but it doesn't help me with the failed attempt.

I attempted in August, fortunately I have no injuries from it, but I can't get over the failure mentally.

I'm so disappointed and pissed at myself. I should have died back then, I was so certain that I would succeed, but somehow I managed to fail. Since then every second of living has been a nightmare; constant pain that I cannot get used to. Memories of my family finding me may be my biggest trauma (and the bar was pretty high), so naturally I'm way more anxious about next attempt.

I hate myself so much for failing. I want to beat the shit out of myself for this. I should have died back then, I should have died.

Just wish me luck with the next try.

I have a failed attempt with helium. I know how that feels, just like the life dont want to leave me alone and i didnt was enough good even in trying to ctb.

 

[ALittleBurden]

What do you mean by materials failed you?

First a rope that was keeping my hands from freeing myself broke, then a tie I was hanging on stretched a bit the way my feet could reach the floor. That was odd because I tested them both before and there were no signs of any problems.