Venting I can't get myself to do it and I hate it

[JustBeingHere377]

I have been thinking to CTB since I was like 12, I have been close to dying a few times but there's always something pushing me back, in one of those my stupid survival instinct made me survive just for my parents to find out what I did and send me to the hospital (this still at 12 :c). Now I don't even try to CTB because I know that I won't do it.
It feels like I want to CTB but at the same time I wanna live, plus my weird fear of what's after death or how it feels. I hate it, I wish there was a way for me to just do it and overcome that fear... Idk if anyone here can help me as this feels like a broad or hard question but any help would be apprecciated qwq

 

[ipmanwc0]

Certain methods benefit from alcohol. Good luck

 

[undecided]

Certain methods benefit from alcohol. Good luck

Jeez, did you even read the post ?

 

[MiMif]

Jeez, did you even read the post ?

I think they're saying alcohol may help overcome survival instinct

 

[undecided]

I have been thinking to CTB since I was like 12, I have been close to dying a few times but there's always something pushing me back, in one of those my stupid survival instinct made me survive just for my parents to find out what I did and send me to the hospital (this still at 12 :c). Now I don't even try to CTB because I know that I won't do it.
It feels like I want to CTB but at the same time I wanna live, plus my weird fear of what's after death or how it feels. I hate it, I wish there was a way for me to just do it and overcome that fear... Idk if anyone here can help me as this feels like a broad or hard question but any help would be apprecciated qwq

Have you sought any help for your suicidal ideation? If you've suffered trauma in your life, there is help out there for you to overcome your depression and your desire to ctb. Your gp will refer you to mental health services.

I think they're saying alcohol may help overcome survival instinct

Is that all they can offer?
Honestly, I'm pro choice but sometimes the 'advice' from members on this site is terrible, it's so focused on 'get the job done'! This is somebody who is obviously confused and crying out for help, and all you can offer is 'have a bloody good drink' !

 

[ipmanwc0]

Have you sought any help for your suicidal ideation? If you've suffered trauma in your life, there is help out there for you to overcome your depression and your desire to ctb. Your gp will refer you to mental health services.

Is that all they can offer?
Honestly, I'm pro choice but sometimes the 'advice' from members on this site is terrible, it's so focused on 'get the job done'! This is somebody who is obviously confused and crying out for help, and all you can offer is 'have a bloody good drink' !

???
The post is literally asking how to overcome SI.
I gave an answer, whereas you said get help which isn't even what they're asking for.

 

[undecided]

???
The post is literally asking how to overcome SI.
I gave an answer, whereas you said get help which isn't even what they're asking for.

READ THE POST AGAIN !!

 

[ipmanwc0]

READ THE POST AGAIN !!

"I wish there was a way for me to just do it and overcome that fear"
I won't argue with you.

 

[undecided]

"I wish there was a way for me to just do it and overcome that fear"
I won't argue with you.

"It seems like I want to ctb, but at the same time I wanna live"

Did you miss that bit ??

 

[ipmanwc0]

"It seems like I want to ctb, but at the same time I wanna live"

Did you miss that bit ??

Did you miss the fact that this thread is in suicide discussions NOT recovery? Blocked

 

[undecided]

Did you miss the fact that this thread is in suicide discussions NOT recovery? Blocked

UNBELIEVABLE!!

Did you miss the fact that this thread is in suicide discussions NOT recovery? Blocked

You're a fkn disgrace!! Reported !

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Did you miss the fact that this thread is in suicide discussions NOT recovery? Blocked

That's because it's not about recovery .

Keep it civil please.

 

[Is0lated]

I have been thinking to CTB since I was like 12, I have been close to dying a few times but there's always something pushing me back, in one of those my stupid survival instinct made me survive just for my parents to find out what I did and send me to the hospital (this still at 12 :c). Now I don't even try to CTB because I know that I won't do it.
It feels like I want to CTB but at the same time I wanna live, plus my weird fear of what's after death or how it feels. I hate it, I wish there was a way for me to just do it and overcome that fear... Idk if anyone here can help me as this feels like a broad or hard question but any help would be apprecciated qwq

It's really hard to be brave enough to do such things but if you're miserable enough it won't matter

 

[JustBeingHere377]

Have you sought any help for your suicidal ideation? If you've suffered trauma in your life, there is help out there for you to overcome your depression and your desire to ctb. Your gp will refer you to mental health services.

Is that all they can offer?
Honestly, I'm pro choice but sometimes the 'advice' from members on this site is terrible, it's so focused on 'get the job done'! This is somebody who is obviously confused and crying out for help, and all you can offer is 'have a bloody good drink' !

I have been taking medication for years and therapy, it just seems to get worse and medication just feels like having only the side effects :(
I know I should try to get better but I feel like death is the only good solution at this point... I guess I'll keep trying to get better for a while before making any decision then

 

[JustBeingHere377]

It's really hard to be brave enough to do such things but if you're miserable enough it won't matter

hm? Wdym? Sorry I didn't understand qwq

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand that it's dreadful feeling trapped here, I find it so horrible how it's so difficult to die, it really should be much more straightforward to finally cease existing, it would be such a relief if there was the option to just easily be free from this existence. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Is0lated]

hm? Wdym? Sorry I didn't understand qwq

Urmm nevermind

 

[JustBeingHere377]

I certainly understand that it's dreadful feeling trapped here, I find it so horrible how it's so difficult to die, it really should be much more straightforward to finally cease existing, it would be such a relief if there was the option to just easily be free from this existence. But anyway best wishes.

yeah I just wish I could just easily disappear :( I'm starting to wish to die more than being happy again

 

[SymphonysofAgony]

I have been feeling the same for about the same time as you, especially in the last two months. It's hard to overcome the challenges of life, and it's hard to overcome the self preservation.
If you want to keep trying to live, have you tried different forms of therapy besides cbt? Such as dialectal behavioral therapy, or electro therapy? If you've tried multiple medications, you could be a good candidate for electro as it's usually for people who've already tried different medications and haven't had success.
If you really wanna ctb joining this website was a great start. People here are generally kind and understanding, and there are a lot of methods with explanations available!
I wish you the best, whatever you decide.

 

[JustBeingHere377]

I have been feeling the same for about the same time as you, especially in the last two months. It's hard to overcome the challenges of life, and it's hard to overcome the self preservation.
If you want to keep trying to live, have you tried different forms of therapy besides cbt? Such as dialectal behavioral therapy, or electro therapy? If you've tried multiple medications, you could be a good candidate for electro as it's usually for people who've already tried different medications and haven't had success.
If you really wanna ctb joining this website was a great start. People here are generally kind and understanding, and there are a lot of methods with explanations available!
I wish you the best, whatever you decide.

I have only tried medication until now, guess I'll try the others maybe? Thank you for the advice btw )