I can’t function anymore

[HGL91]

I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I'd be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I'll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I'm tired.

 

[whyidon'tknow]

Good on your for actually trying to make a life for yourself

 

[HGL91]

Thank you all for the support. It felt good to get that off my chest. I really have no where else to express that except in my head.

 

[pole]

i know how it feels to keep things to yourself. Keeping things in will make you go insane. its better to vent and talk about these things with others. if you ever need someone to just vent to, im a good listener.

Take care and hope you feel better.

 

[Laststop]

Hi. New member. That's why I don't talk to other people about how I feel. They'd most likely "turn me in" anyway. But the average person just doesn't understand how most of us feel here. Their attitude is "get over it." I'm so happy to be here to have people to talk to now, and explain how I feel. like you have HGL91. I hope you find whatever it is that's best for you.

 

[Amber1974]

I'm 45, tired of the abuse from boyfriend due to his drinking, and I'm ready to go enough is enough eventually fuck it

 

[Nem]

I hear you. I am also having an incredibly tough time functioning after having a severe medication reaction a few years ago, I'm nearing the end and I think my days are numbered
Peace/hugs

 

[HGL91]

I'm 45, tired of the abuse from boyfriend due to his drinking, and I'm ready to go enough is enough eventually fuck it

I can empathize. My ex-boyfriend was very abusive. If it wasn't for family rescuing me, I'd probably have killed myself by now.

Is there a reason you are still with him? Do you live together?

I hear you. I am also having an incredibly tough time functioning after having a severe medication reaction a few years ago, I'm nearing the end and I think my days are numbered
Peace/hugs

What medication and what was the reaction? :(

I can kind of relate. I've been on antidepressants since I was 11 and I've had such a hard time with them. So many side effects. And now that I'm older and have even more responsibilities and less of a support system, it's even harder to deal with the side effects because there's even more pressure to "be strong" all the time around people.

i know how it feels to keep things to yourself. Keeping things in will make you go insane. its better to vent and talk about these things with others. if you ever need someone to just vent to, im a good listener.

Take care and hope you feel better.

Thank you! I agree. Keeping it in really can make a person go insane. Although, I'm probably already at that point.

I used to be such an easygoing person, but now I'm so bitter, so I feel pressure to externally express how I used to be, when inside, I feel like a completely different person that I don't even like anymore.

I'm tired of people screwing me over. Insurance companies, pharmacies, doctors, 'friends', employers, ex-boyfriends.

Honestly, releasing the truth of what I truly think on this forum and people responding "Yeah! I get you!", and sharing their similar story is the ONE thing that gives me an it's bitsy sense of relief and joy because then I don't feel completely isolated in this world.

 

[HGL91]

Hi. New member. That's why I don't talk to other people about how I feel. They'd most likely "turn me in" anyway. But the average person just doesn't understand how most of us feel here. Their attitude is "get over it." I'm so happy to be here to have people to talk to now, and explain how I feel. like you have HGL91. I hope you find whatever it is that's best for you.

Yeah, most people just don't understand. Today, I've gone back n forth from feeling super anxious to feeling dead inside.

 

[not_a_robot]

I'm 45, tired of the abuse from boyfriend due to his drinking, and I'm ready to go enough is enough eventually fuck it

Have you considered just putting the abusive boyfriend on the Bus?

 

[Bulletwbttrflywings]

I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I'd be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I'll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I'm tired.

I'm tired too. You're definitely not alone.

Hugs.

 

[Dead beat dad]

I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I'd be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I'll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I'm tired.

Alas I have nothing useful to add that may assuage the difficulties you face.
However your lament if tiredness is one I and I expect many others can relate to.
I feel it's like spinning plates. You don't get to choose the number of plates, the speed they spin or when new ones are added (and they only get added and they only get faster). Occasionally, very occasionally, it will stay still for a very short while, and then life goes; 'here have some more plates, oh and by the way the ones you're working yourself to breaking point to spin? Yeah spin them a bit faster. Here's a cookie be grateful, now get spinning'
I'm sorry for your pain friend, honestly and sincerely feel your pain. I really hope you can find some light in this sea of dark and maybe by venting your spleen here it will provide some respite.
DBD

 

[HGL91]

Alas I have nothing useful to add that may assuage the difficulties you face.
However your lament if tiredness is one I and I expect many others can relate to.
I feel it's like spinning plates. You don't get to choose the number of plates, the speed they spin or when new ones are added (and they only get added and they only get faster). Occasionally, very occasionally, it will stay still for a very short while, and then life goes; 'here have some more plates, oh and by the way the ones you're working yourself to breaking point to spin? Yeah spin them a bit faster. Here's a cookie be grateful, now get spinning'
I'm sorry for your pain friend, honestly and sincerely feel your pain. I really hope you can find some light in this sea of dark and maybe by venting your spleen here it will provide some respite.
DBD

Thanks for the empathy. And that is a very good analogy. I was a professional at "spinning plates for the past few years". Now I'm at the point I just want to purposely drop them and break them because I can't take it anymore.

But of course the consequence of doing that would be life-destroying, so that's why I feel relief from thinking about dying instead.

 

[JoeFailure]

I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I'd be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I'll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I'm tired.

Sorry to hear about that. My ADHD and constant anxiety is making it hard for me to hold a decent job.

I'm glad you at least have things figured out. Maybe a different job or something could help?

 

[GeorgeJL]

I am probably generally a healthy 27 year old. Just tired of working hard, having headaches, body aches, and feeling sleepy, depressed and nauseated all the time.

Until my mid-20s, I still had hope I could somehow find joy in life even though I have struggled to for most of my life. I thought maybe if I just worked a little harder, actively thought more positively and balanced work with friendships, romantic relationship, and finances, and worked out and ate healthy, I'd be happy. Nope. Just stressed trying to balance everything. So tired of heart palpitations and panic attacks. So tired of feeling that if I just stop for a moment, I'll fall behind and ruin my life. I just want to die. I'm tired.

What have you used to try to get better with so far?

 

[HGL91]

What have you used to try to get better with so far?

Been on antidepressants since I was 11, I've seen therapists on and off over the years, did both inpatient and outpatient in 2014, went to church during periods of my life, practiced yoga, focused on eating a healthy diet when I was able to afford it, moved away from my home city to have a fresh start, used Meetup.com to make friends during adulthood, worked happy jobs, worked hard yet good paying jobs...

I just feel like I've lived as long as I can handle. I'm planning to CTB this week when I have enough time alone at the house.

Sorry to hear about that. My ADHD and constant anxiety is making it hard for me to hold a decent job.

I'm glad you at least have things figured out. Maybe a different job or something could help?

Had things figured out. Not anymore. Life has a way of kicking a person down even when they work their ass off. I just want to contribute to this forum a bit until I CTB sometime this week. I have my method of choice. Just need enough time alone at
home.