NSFW I can't escape him, not even when I'm asleep

[sadidiot0328]

When I sit I can feel his breath on my neck
When I walk past trees I can feel him behind me, leading me to somewhere the other kids didn't go
When I lay down I can feel his hands pull my shirt up
When I sleep I replay what hedid over and over and over and over and over and over and over again

What could I have do so terrible to deserve this. If I'm evil enough to have this, I'm too evil to desevre tolive

 

[seagullsonapiano]

You haven't done anything bad. Look i know this is a vent and i don't need to know any details to understand that you got sa'd

I got sa'd at 13 and it took me about 5 years to realize it was SA, and not me being an awful person to not accept sex.

I'm sure the situation is very different for you but god, the guilt. I still feel it now.

After a while though you just... forget.
Not forget it happening obviously, but forget about thinking about it every second of your existance, after a while it just becomes an incredibly painful memory that sadly comes up sometimes, but please remind yourself of how strong you are to be here.
I mean god i am proud of you, so proud of you for venting here about it, i promise this will get better.
Being abused doesn't define who you are, yea it might shape a big chunk of you but you always have the ability to look past and be who you really are.

Sending love