Discussion I can't do this much longer

[Roadkill]

and by this, I mean continue to live. the pain is unbearable. the only thing stopping me is fear of failure. I just want out. I am old(56), and have lost the will to live. Anyone else feel completely hopeless?

 

[123monday123]

Same :(

 

[JustAboutDone]

Roadkill, sending you a hug x
And same to you 123 x

 

[Marawa]

Same here. I've many times. 50 as well

 

[bigj75]

yes.

No will to live, no future, no potential.

 

[TiredHorse]

Same here, at age 49.

 

[Smilla]

Same here, at age 39.

 

[Retched]

I just want to roll over and die. Age 46.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I've tried starving myself and munching down pies, wine and chocolate just to speed things up as there's no way in hell I am do another 40 years

 

[therhydler]

I feel the same, I have had 0% hope for a while. Every second I am desperate to die but fear of pain, fear of failure and my family keeping me basically on suicide watch are in my way...

 

[Itstimeforpeace]

I feel the same... 45 year old ... struggling with guilt, pain, and regret.

 

[Roadkill]

And when I talk about pain, I am talking about mental pain.. I physically feel very good, I haven't been sick or ill in over 12 years, not even a cold. I guess I should be happy about that, but it doesn't matter. The mental pain is too much to bear, I can't stand being alive. Every day is complete agony, I just want this to end as soon as possible. I will use a gun, but I am afraid I will end up maimed and not dead. I wish I could count on a gun to finish the job, but I am scared of ending up paralyzed or blind, or a vegetable.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

and by this, I mean continue to live. the pain is unbearable. the only thing stopping me is fear of failure. I just want out. I am old(56), and have lost the will to live. Anyone else feel completely hopeless?

In my 40's. Right there with you, ready to go.

Hope has kept me going far too long. All it's done is dug me into a deeper hole. I had hoped my Dad would pass first. This is becoming less likely, as I'm rapidly declining.

After nearly a decade of intensely battling the intense desire to end this suffering, and a lifetime of fighting it to various degrees, I'm exhausted. I just want to be free of all this pain. I want my family freed too. My illness is holding them hostage as well.

 

[Roadkill]

I chose my user name because I feel just as worthless as roadkill. A rotting, decaying hunk of flesh sitting dead on the side of the road with no one caring or even seeing me or my pain. Just people going on by, trying not to smell the stench of my maggot covered rotting body. I really hate myself, just in case you couldn't tell. And I hate that I am a coward for not killing myself already. All of my attempts have been feeble so far, I can't even kill myself the right way. I just hope a gun will do the trick. I need to buy the gun soon, very soon.

 

[Roadkill]

In my 40's. Right there with you, ready to go.

Hope has kept me going far too long. All it's done is dug me into a deeper hole. I had hoped my Dad would pass first. This is becoming less likely, as I'm rapidly declining.

After nearly a decade of intensely battling the intense desire to end this suffering, and a lifetime of fighting it to various degrees, I'm exhausted. I just want to be free of all this pain. I want my family freed too. My illness is holding them hostage as well.

I am exhausted too.. I understand exactly where you are coming from.

 

[Retched]

And when I talk about pain, I am talking about mental pain.. I physically feel very good, I haven't been sick or ill in over 12 years, not even a cold. I guess I should be happy about that, but it doesn't matter. The mental pain is too much to bear, I can't stand being alive. Every day is complete agony, I just want this to end as soon as possible. I will use a gun, but I am afraid I will end up maimed and not dead. I wish I could count on a gun to finish the job, but I am scared of ending up paralyzed or blind, or a vegetable.

I understand this like I could be writing it. I did have one prolonged illness but I'm better now and I just wish that illness would have done me in.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I chose my user name because I feel just as worthless as roadkill. A rotting, decaying hunk of flesh sitting dead on the side of the road with no one caring or even seeing me or my pain. Just people going on by, trying not to smell the stench of my maggot covered rotting body. I really hate myself, just in case you couldn't tell. And I hate that I am a coward for not killing myself already. All of my attempts have been feeble so far, I can't even kill myself the right way. I just hope a gun will do the trick. I need to buy the gun soon, very soon.

Roadkill is only roadkill because some idiot hit it to start with and didn't give a toss. Sending you a hug.
And don't beat yourself up for thinking your attempts so far have been feeble. Ctb is fecking hard. When it's the right time, it's the right time and it all clicks into place and happens x

 

[Roadkill]

Roadkill is only roadkill because some idiot hit it to start with and didn't give a toss. Sending you a hug.
And don't beat yourself up for thinking your attempts so far have been feeble. Ctb is fecking hard. When it's the right time, it's the right time and it all clicks into place and happens x

yes, it is very hard to ctb.. harder than I realized.. I thought it was the easy way out, but it's not at all.. it takes a lot of determination and the will to succeed. That's why most people fail at it.. but in my case, failure isn't an option

 

[Roadkill]

I understand this like I could be writing it. I did have one prolonged illness but I'm better now and I just wish that illness would have done me in.

I understand.. I really wish I would get a massive heart attack and drop dead on the spot.. or just die in my sleep. But I guess that's not going to happen any time soon

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I feel exactly the same. My illness has tortured me for nearly 5 years and it has stripped me of any hope. If I was a pet I would have had my N by now but instead I have to suffer through this pain. I wish I could just die painlessly in my sleep.

 

[Roadkill]

I feel exactly the same. My illness has tortured me for nearly 5 years and it has stripped me of any hope. If I was a pet I would have had my N by now but instead I have to suffer through this pain. I wish I could just die painlessly in my sleep.

yeah, dying while sleeping would be the ultimate gift

 

[Crimsonskye]

22 years old and I can't keep going

 

[bigj75]

22 years old and I can't keep going

what happened?

 

[Jai]

and by this, I mean continue to live. the pain is unbearable. the only thing stopping me is fear of failure. I just want out. I am old(56), and have lost the will to live. Anyone else feel completely hopeless?

Absolutely feel the same all day everyday:(

 

[21Neberg]

I don't know where you live, so this is a shot in the dark. But considering your age, perhaps the doctors in your country would allow for assisted suicide?