Venting i can't do it

[maidens]

the thought of truly being gone for eternity is scaring me too much. if there's no such thing as reincarnation or the afterlife, then it really will be over. I won't exist anymore. that's too scary. I think thinking about that person I posted about yesterday who jumped off a building prompted this (not at all the right wording but I can't think of a better way, sorry), I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about what happened to them. they're gone, they can't just come back to life, they're gone forever. and if I CTB, that's what's going to happen to me too.

it's too scary. it's too too scary. at this point, I hope there's an afterlife even though I don't at all believe in one. why can't the suffering just end without me having to disappear forever? I don't know what I did to have to go through all of this for so, so long. if there's an afterlife I hope I can meet the person I posted about

 

[Kempel556]

I think once somebody CTB´s thats it, its just lights out there is nothing more, but I can´t be sure because we have alot of people who had near death experiences and say they saw something but of course that can´t be confirmed.

 

[Lost Magic]

You don't sound ready to leave this world yet and that is okay, there is no rush. However, there is growing evidence out there (even in the medical and scientific community) that consciousness lives on after the point of expiry. So there is a possibility that there is indeed an afterlife. I hope these two videos give you some comfort, and these are just two of many. I threw in the John Cleese one because he has studied Near Death Experiences for years and has a great interest in the subject. Enjoy and try not to worry.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel the exact opposite way, the thought of permanently ceasing to exist comforts me so much, all I've ever wished for is this existence to disappear. For me nothingness means peace, what scares me is existing in this cruel and harmful world.

 

[Lost Magic]

I feel the exact opposite way, the thought of permanently ceasing to exist comforts me so much, all I've ever wished for is this existence to disappear. For me nothingness means peace, what scares me is existing in this cruel and harmful world.

I am personally okay with nothingness after this but if there is an afterlife then let's hope it is a positive experience.

 

[avaruus]

I don't really believe in afterlife either, but i do believe that someday we will wake up. It may take eternities, but someday there will be something. I think this because i believe that existence is eternal, and we are part of this existence. Mathematically if you have infinite amount of time, everything will happen infinite amount of times.

 

[SmollMushroom]

I mean, I don't know if this is much of consolation to you, but it's still gonna happen soon or later, to everyone of us. We will all find out if there is an afterlife or not, eventually.

 

[SVEN]

It's okay to have second (even 3rd, 4th etc) thoughts. No one here will try to push you to ctb or not. It's a pro choice community. Do what you feel best, whenever you choose. You know we'll support your decision.

 

[cscott]

the thought of truly being gone for eternity is scaring me too much. if there's no such thing as reincarnation or the afterlife, then it really will be over. I won't exist anymore. that's too scary. I think thinking about that person I posted about yesterday who jumped off a building prompted this (not at all the right wording but I can't think of a better way, sorry), I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about what happened to them. they're gone, they can't just come back to life, they're gone forever. and if I CTB, that's what's going to happen to me too.

it's too scary. it's too too scary. at this point, I hope there's an afterlife even though I don't at all believe in one. why can't the suffering just end without me having to disappear forever? I don't know what I did to have to go through all of this for so, so long. if there's an afterlife I hope I can meet the person I posted about

Exactly my thoughts

 

[Meditation guide]

the thought of truly being gone for eternity is scaring me too much. if there's no such thing as reincarnation or the afterlife, then it really will be over. I won't exist anymore. that's too scary. I think thinking about that person I posted about yesterday who jumped off a building prompted this (not at all the right wording but I can't think of a better way, sorry), I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about what happened to them. they're gone, they can't just come back to life, they're gone forever. and if I CTB, that's what's going to happen to me too.

it's too scary. it's too too scary. at this point, I hope there's an afterlife even though I don't at all believe in one. why can't the suffering just end without me having to disappear forever? I don't know what I did to have to go through all of this for so, so long. if there's an afterlife I hope I can meet the person I posted about

Lots of us have these thoughts. The idea you can just be gone is terrifying. To me the idea of reincarnation, which I firmly believe happens, is even more terrifying, dying in this life, then finding yourself as an infant being pushed out into the world again, to suffer all over again, and again, and again, is worse.

 

[Lost Magic]

Lots of us have these thoughts. The idea you can just be gone is terrifying. To me the idea of reincarnation, which I firmly believe happens, is even more terrifying, dying in this life, then finding yourself as an infant being pushed out into the world again, to suffer all over again, and again, and again, is worse.

I find reincarnation scary too, but it is mostly a Hindu/Buddhist belief system, however, they believe that they only keep reincarnating until they reach a higher awareness and then their spirit is set free. I personally do believe that our energy does go elsewhere when the body dies, but obviously, I won't know till I die. Do we even have control over what happens anyway? It may not be up to us to decide no matter what we personally believe.

 

[Blue Elephant]

@maidens buddhists think that some time after you die, you reincarnate. It might not be as a human but.. it will happen. And I think this is true as well. It's not difficult but it's a long explanation. If I could make it really short.. ask yourself this: how do things come into being? and what happens to us when we die? It's not about a soul, there is no soul, it's about matter. Matter disintegrates and then it reintegrates. When my body will die it will disintegrate, it will go back into nature and then at some point it will reintegrate.

edit: Ha! @Lost Magic was just a bit faster. : )

 

[Foreverix]

It's okay to have second (even 3rd, 4th etc) thoughts. No one here will try to push you to ctb or not. It's a pro choice community. Do what you feel best, whenever you choose. You know we'll support your decision.

Very aptly put. My only add-on would be that the fear you describe doesn't say anything about you as a person, other than that you're human. If death is non-existence (I personally find this to be a reasonable conclusion), then it is incomprehensible to our mind. If we even try to imagine it, it becomes something. This creates cognitive dissonance/distortion which can quickly lead to feeling scared and/or anxious because we can't make sense of it.

And the italics won't shut off. Great.

@Blue Elephant If reincarnation is true, then I would like my matter to reintegrate, either partially or entirely, as a griffon vulture. That would be nifty. Or maybe a shark, or a tiger. I don't know. Just NOT a koala. I hate koalas.

 

[Blue Elephant]

@Foreverix Well.. they say that your last thought in this life conditions the first thought in your next life.

I think you will be a koala!

 

[toofargone6969]

I think of this Tolkien quote often, because death is a journey we all go on someday and there's no escaping it. What lies after will hopefully bring us peace.


PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way.

GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.

PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?

GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.

PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.

GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.

 

[maidens]

thank you to everyone who's replied to this, I'm reading them all although I don't know how to properly reply to most. genuinely, thank you

 

[Cheffo]

Exactly my thoughts

Of course we are going there anyway. That's the thing in our society, we deny death. In 20 years half will be gone, in 50 most, 100 everyone.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's the paradox of suicide. To long desperately for something (nonexistence) but be terrified of it at the same time.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's certainly an odd thought because it's difficult to imagine no longer waking up. Still- at least in theory- we only have to worry about it while we are alive. Hopefully, death will be one of those things in life where the thought of it is worse than actually experiencing it. Ideally, I'm hoping for a kind of calmness before the actual passing and then- nothing. Still- if I go out via CTB, that seems unlikely.

 

[AshClouds]

I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about what happened to them. they're gone, they can't just come back to life, they're gone forever. and if I CTB, that's what's going to happen to me too.

That thought used to scare me too, but recently I've been more comfortable with that idea. It sounds like you wish to get better over dying. I don't know your specific situation but if thats true, I hope you can find ways to deal with your difficulties. I always say, leave CTB as your last option when you have nothing left.

 

[MatthieuFrederickW]

I don't really believe in afterlife either, but i do believe that someday we will wake up. It may take eternities, but someday there will be something. I think this because i believe that existence is eternal, and we are part of this existence. Mathematically if you have infinite amount of time, everything will happen infinite amount of times.

I agree with this view. Time is apparently just an illusion, nothing but the eternal now

 

[Blue Elephant]

I think of this Tolkien quote often, because death is a journey we all go on someday and there's no escaping it. What lies after will hopefully bring us peace.


PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way.

GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.

PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?

GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.

PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.

GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.

This is beautiful! Thank you! : )

thank you to everyone who's replied to this, I'm reading them all although I don't know how to properly reply to most. genuinely, thank you

Thank you for starting this thread and allowing us to contribute. It seems it brought out beautiful things from people. : )

@toofargone6969 posted that beautiful quote and then you

This reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:

"They paint the world full of shadows..
and then they tell their children to stay close to the light.
THEIR light! Their reasons, their judgments!
Because in the darkness,
there be dragons. ..
But it isn't true!
It isn't true!
In the dark, there is discovery, there is possibility,
there is freedom in the dark once someone has illuminated it."

Of course this quote (from Black Sails) is about a travel, a journey..

And now think about death! What if death is not THE END but just ONE END? What if something ends.. something begins? What if this death is just a switch from this life to ... I don't know, maybe the next part of a journey? I wonder what, or how (maybe we don't have the words for it if we never experienced it..) will the next part of the journey be!? : )