Venting i cant do anything right

[clearing eyes]

i'm incapable of literally everything. i hate myself. i hate myself so fucking much. i can't do anything productive, i can't even get good at a stupid fucking video game. i can't do anything that i believed i was once talented in. everything is a fucking lie. i'm awful. i'm AWFUL. why do people want me around? i think they just want me to suffer or live vicariously through me. they have this stupid fucking blind hope that i'll be able to make something of myself but i know that's not fucking true. i don't care anymore. i don't have doubts about whether i'm going to ctb any longer. i'm a failure and i deserve to disappear.

 

[GoPeaceful]

Don't be to harsh to yourself. If people have the hope that you'll be able to make something of yourself, why don't you believe them? Maybe your look on your your life, is discorded by a mental illness. Maybe you just need help?

 

[clearing eyes]

Don't be to harsh to yourself. If people have the hope that you'll be able to make something of yourself, why don't you believe them? Maybe your look on your your life, is discorded by a mental illness. Maybe you just need help?

that mental illness is exactly what's wrong with me. and i don't think any amount of help will enough. i don't deserve it, anyway.

 

[GoPeaceful]

Everybody deserves help. And why not give it a shot before you use your SN? You having nothing to lose.

 

[clearing eyes]

Everybody deserves help. And why not give it a shot before you use your SN? You having nothing to lose.

i've already been in therapy. i'm still reliant on my dad and i don't want to burden him any longer. i need to get out of here as soon as i can.

 

[GoPeaceful]

I see. It's impossible for me to see life with your eyes, so I just can wish you all the best. And if you change your mind, you can always come back. But keep in mind, that your dad probably loves you too and that your death would be devastating for him.

 

[clearing eyes]

I see. It's impossible for me to see life with your eyes, so I just can wish you all the best. And if you change your mind, you can always come back. But keep in mind, that your dad probably loves you too and that your death would be devastating for him.

he acts like i'm a huge burden. i'm not emotionally mature enough.

 

[GoPeaceful]

I truly hate to see so many people who have loved ones around them who won't help and even stress other people emotionally. So many suicides could be prevented if people would just show basic love to each other. Sorry to see you in this position. I really wish I could help you.

 

[Pan]

I cannot extol the benefits of full suspension hanging highly enough. It is cheap, quick and, contrary to popular opinion, relatively painless. Death occurs within minutes: s.i. is irrelevant. Let's face facts: we all meet THE MAN sooner or later—why not NOW?

 

[Ybother]

i'm incapable of literally everything. i hate myself. i hate myself so fucking much. i can't do anything productive, i can't even get good at a stupid fucking video game. i can't do anything that i believed i was once talented in. everything is a fucking lie. i'm awful. i'm AWFUL. why do people want me around? i think they just want me to suffer or live vicariously through me. they have this stupid fucking blind hope that i'll be able to make something of myself but i know that's not fucking true. i don't care anymore. i don't have doubts about whether i'm going to ctb any longer. i'm a failure and i deserve to disappear.

Sorry, I know Exactly how you feel Clearing. I sometimes think that the Universe/God/ whoever tf is playing favorites but won't let us find peace. Like we're flukes or something. I feel like people keep me around just to remind themselves how much better they are doing in comparison. The game is rigged.

 

[tidalwxves]

that mental illness is exactly what's wrong with me. and i don't think any amount of help will enough. i don't deserve it, anyway.

Please be gentle with yourself, please try to get help. I'm not saying its easy but it is necessary. People on this site will listen and do our best but we are not professionals. Things don't have to stay like this, but you have to be willing to try. I'm proud of you for being open on this forum though, opening up takes courage. I hope you get the help you deserve soon