I hear you. When I had depression as a teenager even at 19 years old I was so sad and cried all the time now I don´t feel anything not happiness, sadness or even excitement I actually miss my depression now because having all this pain and frustration but not able to let it out is worse than crying all the time I MISS FEELING!! I don´t even care if the only thing I could feel would be sadness through depression I just want to feel again.
I can never cry around other people, and that's not me wanting others to think I'm weak or anything, it's just that I can't stand pity from others I guess and let it all out when I'm alone
My tears have run dry 4 years ago. The only instances I ever cried since then were when my grandpa died of cancer and when I slit my vein and saw the blood gushing out.
Otherwise, it feels like a dessert in my eyes. I just make sobbing sounds and weird grimaces with no relief. Sucks
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