![DCLXVI](/data/avatars/l/81/81792.jpg?1700973081)
DCLXVI
I hate everything.
- Oct 29, 2023
- 21
I live in Minnesota, which is not a state that has the Death With Dignity Act in place.
That being said, Canada has options for MAID that (I think) I'm eligible for, from what I've been researching. I have borderline personality disorder like a motherfucker, but if I can't roll with that yet, I'm gonna roll with my vascular Ehlers Danlos diagnosis.
The biggest issue/decision I'm facing is the amount of time it's going to take to make sure I have everything in order to be eligible (i.e. I'll probably have to establish residency, probably have to set up appointments with medical professionals in Canada, etc.)
And I really don't want to wait, but if I kill myself, my siblings (which I raised) won't receive my life insurance. I want to make sure they'll be okay without me, because our mother is a damn joke. They don't live in the same state as me anymore, but I still support my autistic brother financially (my mom abducted him and refuses to do anything other than neglect him now) and I know they won't get any sort of inheritance from our mother.
That whole "death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" saying is absolute bullshit. Life IS the problem, and that problem won't stop until I'm dead.
I feel selfish, but at the same time, just like anyone else, I can only take so much. Life has constantly been terrible, ever since my earliest memories. My one glimmer of hope was ripped away from me in the most horrible way. I'm literally suffering mentally and physically and I'm so tired of fighting these battles in a losing war.
That being said, Canada has options for MAID that (I think) I'm eligible for, from what I've been researching. I have borderline personality disorder like a motherfucker, but if I can't roll with that yet, I'm gonna roll with my vascular Ehlers Danlos diagnosis.
The biggest issue/decision I'm facing is the amount of time it's going to take to make sure I have everything in order to be eligible (i.e. I'll probably have to establish residency, probably have to set up appointments with medical professionals in Canada, etc.)
And I really don't want to wait, but if I kill myself, my siblings (which I raised) won't receive my life insurance. I want to make sure they'll be okay without me, because our mother is a damn joke. They don't live in the same state as me anymore, but I still support my autistic brother financially (my mom abducted him and refuses to do anything other than neglect him now) and I know they won't get any sort of inheritance from our mother.
That whole "death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" saying is absolute bullshit. Life IS the problem, and that problem won't stop until I'm dead.
I feel selfish, but at the same time, just like anyone else, I can only take so much. Life has constantly been terrible, ever since my earliest memories. My one glimmer of hope was ripped away from me in the most horrible way. I'm literally suffering mentally and physically and I'm so tired of fighting these battles in a losing war.