I can’t believe how fast time passes

[Liebestod]

I can't believe it's about to be 2026. Ideally this would be the perfect year for me to ctb but now I'm just coping and making excuses to delay it for another year or two. It's hard for me to believe the last two years flew by like it did. If it was 2023 again and I had what I had now I would 100% already be dead let alone think about doing it in 2026. But now that the year is approaching idk, if it gets unbearable I'll probably do it in 2026, but I've been coping procrastinating and making excuses for too long now. My deadline is to not live past 2028 and I promised myself that back in 2023. I cope and say I should live to the max but in reality if I had my gun back in 2023 I wouldn't be here typing this. Now I'm coping hard and saying I should buy more guns just because. In reality I'm subconsciously doing that so I could live longer. 2026 is the perfect time for me to commit suicide it's just that time has gone by so fast and I have nothing to look back on. I can't look back on anything and say that I enjoyed it. I've been a complete loner all my life. I don't know why I won't just do it. What am I expecting to get out of life. Life is suffering and always has been.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Yeah boggles my mind how fast this year flew by

Another reason shows that the things they tell us are so important including life are meaningless.

However avoiding unbearable pain or extreme suffering does matter and is the only thing that matters. And to me my suicide asap matters

This year 2025 , the last 2 years, the last 5 years all passed so fast

And I haven't heard anyone talk about this.

Same for many things people never talk about including

1. We are all going to die

2. Times passes many times faster than people realize

3. Put 1 and 2 together equals we are all going to die very soon. But they can't put these 2 together as even one of these is not internalized into system 1 of the brain( from book thinking fast and slow

4. Pain is likewise thousands of times worse than people know

5. There are very many extremely horrible things that can happen to any human

6.life is objectively bad because the worst pain or the extremely horrible things that can happen far outweigh the fleeting pleasurable things

I'm just getting started and there's a book no one has written we are living as if it were the matrix where no one sees reality.

People never talk about not even one of the things I mentioned above. Do they act like they believe any of these? Not imo.

The most horrible thing is that while life is very fleeting, I don't want to go through unbearable pain or extreme torture. One second of the worst pain can seem to last a long time. I fear being alive

 

[boyafraid]

Yeah boggles my mind how fast this year flew by

Another reason shows that the things they tell us are so important including life are meaningless.

However avoiding unbearable pain or extreme suffering does matter and is the only thing that matters. And to me my suicide asap matters

This year 2025 , the last 2 years, the last 5 years all passed so fast

And I haven't heard anyone talk about this.

Same for many things people never talk about including

1. We are all going to die

2. Times passes many times faster than people realize

3. Pain is likewise thousands of times worse than people know

I relate to this a lot. I thought it was cliche as a kid but time really does go by flying. Everything since covid has felt very blurry to me lol

 

[Macedonian1987]

For me, it's actually the opposite. When I was younger and life was relatively painless, time flew by. Now that I'm older and dealing with chronic pain, time drags incredibly slowly. These last three years have felt more like thirty.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

The last 20 years of my life have been coping with shame and dishonor and regret that arrested normal personality development and wasted my energy. I just "get through" every day with a minimum of engagement. The last 15 years since I dropped out of college have been post-catastrophe flailing. I am a fugitive who ran from his own life. I got old fast. What motivation could possibly get me to WORK while I AGE? There is nothing to console me in my decline. My best years went out the window.

 

[Macedonian1987]

The last 20 years of my life have been coping with shame and dishonor and regret that arrested normal personality development and wasted my energy. I just "get through" every day with a minimum of engagement. The last 15 years since I dropped out of college have been post-catastrophe flailing. I am a fugitive who ran from his own life. I got old fast. What motivation could possibly get me to WORK while I AGE? There is nothing to console me in my decline. My best years went out the window.

Mine best years went out the window too. Spent in loneliness, watching everyone have relationships while i staid completely alone. Others going to parties while i either staid at home or took one of my countless lonely walks. The only good thing when i was younger I didn't had any pain in my body and I had a lot more energy.