Venting i can't be the only this terrible with their money, right?

[iloveyouihateyou]

hello people i was just wondering, are you responsible with your money? if so, what do you do to avoid impulsive or reckless spending habits? what do you want to do with your money?

...and if not, what are you spending your money on and why?

i'll be honest recently i've been going through so much turbulence in my life and for the longest time i've held out on using my credit card for anything other than emergencies but genuinely my suffering was so severe that it all feels like a blur... but yeah skip to now and i've spent... oh i don't know maybe 300 almost 400 on things like weed, cigarettes, and alcohol. so much alcohol i've just been trying to keep myself in a neverending tipsy/drunk feeling cause honestly i can't stomach all this mental anguish every single day like i wake up and i immediately feel pain because i know i have to wake up and interact with people who don't care about how i'm feeling and getting drunk or high just feels like a big hug from someone who loves you whenever you want or request it.. it's so lame to say but over the years of my short life the only constant that was there for me in times of needs were drugs and i hate to say it but man i wish i had friends who cared about me. like i know your friends and even family can't hold your hand for everything but how i wish i had those tight knit friend groups or to be those people that are always invited out or remembered, or wanted around just anything like that..

i have dreams or more like nightmares where i'm reunited with old friends, or my phone is blowing up from people wanting to know how i'm feeling.. where i'm going to all these places i love with people who actually want to be there with me and oh my fucking god it feels so good that i never want to wake up. so when i do inevitably wake up (after sleeping in for an extra 3 hours) the immediate realization that everything i just experienced was just some cruel illusion of what i truly want instantly sends a stab into my heart. it's so cruel man like not even in sleep can i find peace on earth. sleeping just reminds me of what i don't have before i have to wake up and experience life without it firsthand. it makes me not want to sleep but at the same time i hate being awake, there's just no place the hours of the day for someone like me.

but yeah that brings me back to my spending habits, i don't have a job rn so i started running up my credit card thinking "what does it matter if i'm not going to be here eventually" or even "what does it matter if i'm gonna find a job eventually" so yeah i've just been closing my eyes tapping my card buying shit like i have admin privileges or something LOL and i know it's so dumb and irresponsible but i'll be lying if i said i care all that much cause i barely do... i just want to fill the void in my soul and if this is the only way then i'll do it cause fuck this life genuinely :')

i'm drinking 76% vodka if you're wondering and yes i am drinking right now!


if you read all of this, thank you for your time and i hope u have a good day...

 

[dembe]

same, well not exactly same but i do have spending problems also, and so does my mother, she does this thing where she puts the money in a special account with the credit union/bank or smthing where she HAS to physically go there and withdraw the money in order to get it, and the place is like in another city/town. Seems to work or her. mine is more personal and i doubt would hell but the only thing that helps me is actually putting a goal like "Im saving for those really expensive headphones" and then i actually do smhow force myself too once i realllllyyy want smthing but again that might just be personal to me.

 

[kunikuzushi]

I know that feeling too well of having those dreams. I suppress my true desires so well when I'm awake that they show up so strongly in my dreams. Just like you described. I'm sorry you have to feel this too.
And yes my spending habits are not good. I justify it by saying I feel so awful I should let myself buy anything that makes me feel slightly better. And for me it's often very expensive food and drinks. Sometimes hobby things.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you have as good a day as you can

 

[astr4]

too depressed to elaborate but uh yeah it's all fucked all my money goes to drugs it's whatever idc about living long term idk what the point of being good w money is

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I have spending problems, just the opposite of what you have. I barely have any clothes that fit me now but I can't bring myself to spend money on clothes because I worry I may need the money. Need to buy pillow cases as the ones I have are uncomfortable but I can't bring myself to do it. It's been almost 1 year since needing new clothes and I haven't done it yet...always going out with the same 2 trousers and 3 shirts...

I have the money, every month I save a lot as I basically just spend money on "musts" (rent, utilities, food, etc). I just have this thought that if I spend the money on something that isn't 10000% needed then suddenly I'll lose all my money and be homeless. I know it's irrational, makes no sense, but that thought alone controls me.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I have some spending problems. I'm far from serious debt or anything, but I struggle to reach my financial goals in the time frame I want. My biggest expense is related to clothes and fashion (I indulge in the mid-luxury range), and my second biggest expense is other miscellaneous "entertainment" costs like going out to eat or buying small things. Admittedly I'm not too worried about those miscellaneous expenses, I'm a lot more worried about my fashion spending.

I used to keep a strict budget, but found that I just didn't care anymore since I was never going to reach my financial goals anyways, so I might as well enjoy the small things. Despite this, I actually do still keep a budget, I just struggle to follow it and often pull from my savings.