Venting I can’t anymore

[Rose190021]

I feel a complete void in my life. I've been in and out for so long. I start to feel better and then all of a sudden it hits me again and I wish I wasn't here. Why does life taunt me? I feel so alone and so helpless sometimes. I'm told that is called self-pity but what people don't understand is that I can't stop feeling this way if it was self imposed I would fix it because I never want to feel this way. I always come back to the question should I stay or should I go. What is it going to take to make my final decision. I feel so lost and weak. To go on seems impossible. To fight seems impossible. I'm tired. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of feeling. I want this to be done. I wish this pain would go away.

 

[Judah]

I'm sorry you feel that way and I can understand that feeling
It is like a roller coaster where you are forced to live unpleasant moments without any compassion and you feel that life has something against you.
And yet I'm experiencing that still
I send you hugs!

 

[Kurushii]

I feel that same uncertainty of whether to stay here or leave very often too. It's hard to deal with because it's such a hard decision to make, and our minds are not still like a calm lake. Feeling lost is such a wild state to be in since you just don't know what to do. You don't know where to go next. Life is often very difficult and unfairly does not give back the effort you give in. I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now. And I understand being tired of trying to make things work, only for it to not. I'm tired of trying too. (Also I like your profile picture)

 

[FuneralCry]

The unfortunate reality is that life certainly is something that is very cruel, there could never be anything fair about existing here. The way that I see it there is no real relief from suffering as long as we stay here and of course it can be so tiring having to endure this existence. Your feelings of wishing to be free from it all really are understandable.