Help I can't anymore. I swear. I have exhausted all my options.

[oxymoron]

I can't anymore. I swear. I have exhausted all my options.

 

[Lostnotfound]

Sitting here all alone with nothing to do and no one to talk to so totally free if you want to talk

 

[Eridanos]

If I can ask, what happened?

 

[oxymoron]

Sitting here all alone with nothing to do and no one to talk to so totally free if you want to talk

hmm

 

[Jean4]

Talk to us Oxy. What's going on?

 

[oxymoron]

If I can ask, what happened?

Lost my job. Gave 100+ interviews - all rejects. My job was the only thing left in my life. Guess it makes it easier for me now. Have been suffering from major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder and IBS since the last 11 months. Suffering from tinnitus since the past 8 years. You tell me if I should not kill my self.

Talk to us Oxy. What's going on?

Lost my job. Gave 100+ interviews - all rejects. My job was the only thing left in my life. Guess it makes it easier for me now. Have been suffering from major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder and IBS since the last 11 months. Suffering from tinnitus since the past 8 years. You tell me if I should not kill my self.

 

[Lostnotfound]

hmm

Hmmm?

I cant make it better, I cant make it go away, I have no answers for me so I doubt I have answers for you but I can be on the other end of a message to 'listen' and not judge. I can talk - its all I can offer

 

[oxymoron]

Hmmm?

I cant make it better, I cant make it go away, I have no answers for me so I doubt I have answers for you but I can be on the other end of a message to 'listen' and not judge. I can talk - its all I can offer

Thank you. I am just living my life one shitty day at a time.

 

[Lostnotfound]

Thank you. I am just living my life one shitty day at a time.

Me too .... trying to count down to CTB day but the zero clock keeps getting moved.

 

[AcornUnderground]

I am so sorry. I am chronically ill with terrible eye pain, lost my job last September and can't even consider interviewing. I've had terrible tinnitus for 1.5 years on top of the disabling eye problems as part of my illness. Tinnitus is terrible and I am so sorry.

 

[oxymoron]

I had tinnitus for the last 8-9 years and I never fucking saw it as a problem ever but the universe kept giving me more illnesses.
I wish someone put a bullet in my head.

 

[theguineapigking]

I'm very sorry for your suffering. I have major chronic health issues too. Not agonizing or painful in any way I'm general. But chronic fatigue,dizziness,brain fog,migraine,etc. I hated my life when I was a kid. I hate it even more now since I also hate society.

I only work part time at a lowly customer service job. I HATE it. I can't work full time even if I wanted to because if my medical issues.

I know I can't say anything to make it better.But just know that you're not alone. I first hand understand medical problem limitations.

I'm here if you need to talk.

 

[oxymoron]

Strongly debating what to do next.

 

[theguineapigking]

Strongly debating what to do next.

It's best to take some time to consider your options. Think about it. Please don't rush into anything harsh before you really think it over. I do completely understand suicide though.

Do you have any friends that you can rely on? Anyone that can help you out in the short run? Do you know if you quality for disability income? You have major medical problems.


We're all here for you dude.

 

[oxymoron]

I do not have anything left.

 

[Indieblue]

Pm me if you want ears to listen. I will just listen without judgement.

 

[Brink]

I do not have anything left.

I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances. Do you like animals? They've saved me at many points in my life when I haven't been able to work.

 

[oxymoron]

I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances. Do you like animals? They've saved me at many points in my life when I haven't been able to work.

It is not possible to love anything when you cannot love yourself.

 

[Brink]

It is not possible to love anything when you cannot love yourself.

I disagree. I think love is fluid and subjective; love is so powerful it cannot be understood or measured objectively. I do not particularly 'love myself' but I do feel love for others and animals, especially my cats.

 

[oxymoron]

I disagree. I think love is fluid and subjective; love is so powerful it cannot be understood or measured objectively. I do not particularly 'love myself' but I do feel love for others and animals, especially my cats.

Maybe you are not as depressed.

 

[Brink]

Who knows... I'm in pain. You're in pain too. I'm here for you if you need to vent without comment but I can also share what's helped me. I wish you comfort above all else.

Maybe you are not as depressed.

Who knows... I'm in pain. You're in pain too. I'm here for you if you need to vent without comment but I can also share what's helped me. I wish you comfort above all else.

 

[Razor's Edge]

Lost my job. Gave 100+ interviews - all rejects. My job was the only thing left in my life. Guess it makes it easier for me now. Have been suffering from major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder and IBS since the last 11 months. Suffering from tinnitus since the past 8 years. You tell me if I should not kill my self.

Lost my job. Gave 100+ interviews - all rejects. My job was the only thing left in my life. Guess it makes it easier for me now. Have been suffering from major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder and IBS since the last 11 months. Suffering from tinnitus since the past 8 years. You tell me if I should not kill my self.

Me too .... trying to count down to CTB day but the zero clock keeps getting moved.

It seems like every idea, when it becomes a plan, all of a sudden something happens to need to postpone and reschedule. You start counting down the days and then...BOOM!!!

I understand, somewhat, of what you are going through, though, of course not all.
I have PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Panic Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, etc.

*I am planning on CTB with my fiance'. His problems are worse than mine.
Plus he's bi-polar... our nerves are so bad that we lock horns occasionally, but overall we are cool.
Just like 2 Peas in a pod.*

I, too, am about to pull my hair out, trying to find a FINAL EXIT METHOD. It seems like every idea gets shot down almost .
And this can be the ONLY try. It MUST NOT fail!!!


(* If ANYONE has ANY ideas of how to help, PLEASE let me know.* )


Ok, so...I have access to 4grams of H, (which would be 4grams each) Lots of Valium and Klonopin as well, alcohol, and SN (only as a last resort).
If I were to use them, PLUS, an assortment of ideas of methods we've come up with, (each seeming to be shot down one way or another.)

These are some of the methods I have access to:

Drug Overdose (obviously)
Taking EVERYTHING above and hoping for the best. But to use a 2nd method ...to be sure, just in case.
Oh, and that would be 4grams of H each...btw.

Drowning...
adding putting bricks chained to steel toe boots on my feet, then just jumping in a lake, taking all that first. Pretty sure method, right?
(Lots of lakes, ...NO PRIVACY!!!)

Carbon Monoxide
in a van, with 3 pails of charcoal.
(Too suspicious!!! Have 6 chimney starters, BUT... live in a residential area)

Cutting or Stabbing
Slitting my throat, or my wrists (up to the elbow,),or, stabbing my femoral artery.
(Not sure I could function well enough to do it right with ALL of that in my system.)
(P.S. Because I AM a Cutter, this idea DOES appeal to me in a way...I know that sounds sick...like I'm mentally ill, or something...but, I actually am!!!)

SN
However, my fiance' has a really bad ulcer.
This would be like putting salt on an open wound. WAY too agonizing!

Night, Night
(Ratchet around throat and hitting just the right artery)
(Can't seem to find the right spot...Aggghhh....!!!

Plastic Bag Suffocation
(Easy to escape from if survival instinct kicks in)

Hanging
(We live in a mobile home, so we don't have any ceiling beams we could use or trust)
(Partial Hanging, like from a doorknob, doesn't seem sure enough.)

Helium
(Tanks WAY too suspicious looking. They are HUGE!)

Decapitation (Piano Wire)
Have piano wire going across the front seat of the car, somehow.
Then drive somewhere and hit the gas, then the brake.
(Not too sure about tying the piano wire right. This way MUST be done correctly, or we may survive!!!)

Jumping
(Going SPLAT!!! However, there are no buildings in my town to use that are high enough, and both my fiance' ( Did I mention he is agoraphobic)
plus, we both have such bad nerves we couldn't dare drive anywhere out of the city anyway.)

Aaagghh!!!...

PLEASE!!!
(* If ANYONE has ANY ideas of how to help, PLEASE let me know.* )

Me too .... trying to count down to CTB day but the zero clock keeps getting moved.

Me too .... trying to count down to CTB day but the zero clock keeps getting moved.

It seems like every idea, when it becomes a plan, all of a sudden something happens to need to postpone and reschedule. You start counting down the days and then...BOOM!!!


*I am planning on CTB with my fiance'. His problems are worse than mine.
Plus he's bi-polar... our nerves are so bad that we lock horns occasionally, but overall we are cool.
Just like 2 Peas in a pod.*


I, too, am about to pull my hair out, trying to find a FINAL EXIT METHOD. It seems like every idea gets shot down almost .
And this can be the ONLY try. It MUST NOT fail!!!


(* If ANYONE has ANY ideas of how to help, PLEASE let me know.* )


Ok, so...
I have access to 4grams of H, (which would be 4grams each) Lots of Valium and Klonopin as well, alcohol, and SN (only as a last resort).
If I were to use them, PLUS, an assortment of ideas of methods we've come up with, (each seeming to be shot down one way or another.)

These are some of the methods I have access to:

Drug Overdose (obviously)
Taking EVERYTHING above and hoping for the best. But to use a 2nd method ...to be sure, just in case.
Oh, and that would be 4grams of H each...btw.

Drowning...
adding putting bricks chained to steel toe boots on my feet, then just jumping in a lake, taking all that first. Pretty sure method, right?
(Lots of lakes, ...NO PRIVACY!!!)

Carbon Monoxide
in a van, with 3 pails of charcoal.
(Too suspicious!!! Have 6 chimney starters, BUT... live in a residential area)

Cutting or Stabbing
Slitting my throat, or my wrists (up to the elbow,),or, stabbing my femoral artery.
(Not sure I could function well enough to do it right with ALL of that in my system.)
(P.S. Because I AM a Cutter, this idea DOES appeal to me in a way...I know that sounds sick...like I'm mentally ill, or something...but, I actually am!!!)

SN
However, my fiance' has a really bad ulcer.
This would be like putting salt on an open wound. WAY too agonizing!

Night, Night
(Ratchet around throat and hitting just the right artery)
(Can't seem to find the right spot...Aggghhh....!!!

Plastic Bag Suffocation
(Easy to escape from if survival instinct kicks in)

Hanging
(We live in a mobile home, so we don't have any ceiling beams we could use or trust)
(Partial Hanging, like from a doorknob, doesn't seem sure enough.)

Helium
(Tanks WAY too suspicious looking. They are HUGE!)

Decapitation (Piano Wire)
Have piano wire going across the front seat of the car, somehow.
Then drive somewhere and hit the gas, then the brake.
(Not too sure about tying the piano wire right. This way MUST be done correctly, or we may survive!!!)

Jumping
(Going SPLAT!!! However, there are no buildings in my town to use that are high enough, and both my fiance' ( Did I mention he is agoraphobic)
plus, we both have such bad nerves we couldn't dare drive anywhere out of the city anyway.)

Aaagghh!!!...

PLEASE!!!
(* If ANYONE has ANY ideas of how to help, PLEASE let me know.* )