I can finally do it

[SadandKindaWannaend]

So i tried Hanging myself by jumping off a ledge with a robe around my neck. Short story the robe snapped, i fell, hurt my back, and now im back to square one.
Thought of overdosing, but i don't have the drugs to do it. All though i tried paracetamol and that didn't do anything either, even though i swallowed more than 20.
I thought of cutting, but the pain was to much for me to think about, plus i don't want to leave a mess for my family to clean up.
I thought of SN but it was to much trouble to order it, explain to the company why i wanted it, or possibly being stopped by customs.
Then finally i though of hanging again, and i kept thinking, i need strong rope, i need a good tree or beam, i needed a place where the general public wouldn't find me or stop me.
I needed a place that was easy for me to access in the heat of the moment. Nothing was really fitting the things that i needed.
I was going thru a thread of hanging, and i came across one. As i was going thru the comments, one person pointed out, hanging using the jam of your door. And finally i received my answer.
I am going to jam my scarf into the top of my door, and hang from that. I will be in my room, and im sad that my sister will probably be the one to find me, but i am so fucking happy that i found an easy way to go, it has taken so much pressure off me.
Gosh it just feels like all this weights been lifted off for real.

 

[omneus morimor]

if you are dead set on hanging use a belt. but in my opinion if you cant find any other fatal drugs get a large dose of nicotine .
Researchers have frequently indicated that the lethal dose of nicotine for adults is 50 to 60 milligrams (mg). a deadly dose for an adult who weighs about 150 pounds. But some research suggests a lethal amount may be a lot higher.
i would double this and drink a favored drink.
ps you could vomit and then itll be hell from the OD

Information on suicide methods | Lost All Hope: The web's leading suicide resource

Comprehensive information on suicide methods, including best methods, least painful, popularity, things to consider, how to and dangers.

lostallhope.com

 

[SadandKindaWannaend]

if you are dead set on hanging use a belt. but in my opinion if you cant find any other fatal drugs get a large dose of nicotine .
Researchers have frequently indicated that the lethal dose of nicotine for adults is 50 to 60 milligrams (mg). a deadly dose for an adult who weighs about 150 pounds. But some research suggests a lethal amount may be a lot higher.
i would double this and drink a favored drink.

you will be able to buy 4 mg nicotine lozenges online or at a drug store such as cvs.

Hey, thank you for the advice, with the nicotine lozenges, im not sure they sell them in my country. We don't have CVS's. And i'm only assuming if we do sell them, you can only purchase them thru a prescription given by a company who supports people giving up. I personally don't smoke so i wouldn't be able too. I look into it more though.

 

[omneus morimor]

Hey, thank you for the advice, with the nicotine lozenges, im not sure they sell them in my country. We don't have CVS's. And i'm only assuming if we do sell them, you can only purchase them thru a prescription given by a company who supports people giving up. I personally don't smoke so i wouldn't be able too. I look into it more though.

https://lostallhope.com/suicide-methods
you can order from amazon
but there are many ways but painless and clean are not often found together

 

[jgm63]

Whatever method you choose....
If you decide to proceed, then I wish you a safe journey



Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

 

[Taki]

So i tried Hanging myself by jumping off a ledge with a robe around my neck. Short story the robe snapped, i fell, hurt my back, and now im back to square one.
Thought of overdosing, but i don't have the drugs to do it. All though i tried paracetamol and that didn't do anything either, even though i swallowed more than 20.
I thought of cutting, but the pain was to much for me to think about, plus i don't want to leave a mess for my family to clean up.
I thought of SN but it was to much trouble to order it, explain to the company why i wanted it, or possibly being stopped by customs.
Then finally i though of hanging again, and i kept thinking, i need strong rope, i need a good tree or beam, i needed a place where the general public wouldn't find me or stop me.
I needed a place that was easy for me to access in the heat of the moment. Nothing was really fitting the things that i needed.
I was going thru a thread of hanging, and i came across one. As i was going thru the comments, one person pointed out, hanging using the jam of your door. And finally i received my answer.
I am going to jam my scarf into the top of my door, and hang from that. I will be in my room, and im sad that my sister will probably be the one to find me, but i am so fucking happy that i found an easy way to go, it has taken so much pressure off me.
Gosh it just feels like all this weights been lifted off for real.

What ultimately is your reason for wanting to kill yourself?

 

[SadandKindaWannaend]

What ultimately is your reason for wanting to kill yourself?

Its as simple as i am not satisfied with the life im living. My life is full of love on the good days and full of hatred on the bad. My life is a good one don't get me wrong, it's just when i feel sad, like right now for instance, i feel really sad, like this ache in my heart that wont go away, it sits there until something distracts me for a little while, but then it comes back when im alone, and then im reminded of the feelings that sit inside me. Im scared of dying, i'll be honest, im afraid of the pain, of the things i'll miss out on, of whats waiting on the otherside, but i feel like, if i had the balls to jump of a ledge with a rope around my neck, and just before i did it, had no regrets or anything, and i had the intention of dying, whats stopping me from doing again, but myself. I always think about what would happen if i had died. Right now, it would of been over 4 maybe even 5 months since i died. If i had died, i'd be in a grave, under a bunch of dirt, rooting. I'd probably be just a box full of slush right now. It weird right. The only thing i'd probably genuinely sad about is that my sister will find me, and my family and friends will miss me, i don't really like the thought of being naked in front a stranger who will probably cut me open (although im not sure they will since its a hanging, but maybe) and the fact that they'll embalm me ( I want to be embalmed though, my biggest fear is waking up in a coffin, so embalming means, i really won't wake up) and also the fact that my family will have to dress me. In what? Idk. God this is the first time i've actually release how i feel out into the open. I haven't even been able to write this in a notebook or anything. Thanks i guess. You only asked one question, but i gave more than that. Sorry.

 

[Jean4]

Its as simple as i am not satisfied with the life im living. My life is full of love on the good days and full of hatred on the bad. My life is a good one don't get me wrong, it's just when i feel sad, like right now for instance, i feel really sad, like this ache in my heart that wont go away, it sits there until something distracts me for a little while, but then it comes back when im alone, and then im reminded of the feelings that sit inside me. Im scared of dying, i'll be honest, im afraid of the pain, of the things i'll miss out on, of whats waiting on the otherside, but i feel like, if i had the balls to jump of a ledge with a rope around my neck, and just before i did it, had no regrets or anything, and i had the intention of dying, whats stopping me from doing again, but myself. I always think about what would happen if i had died. Right now, it would of been over 4 maybe even 5 months since i died. If i had died, i'd be in a grave, under a bunch of dirt, rooting. I'd probably be just a box full of slush right now. It weird right. The only thing i'd probably genuinely sad about is that my sister will find me, and my family and friends will miss me, i don't really like the thought of being naked in front a stranger who will probably cut me open (although im not sure they will since its a hanging, but maybe) and the fact that they'll embalm me ( I want to be embalmed though, my biggest fear is waking up in a coffin, so embalming means, i really won't wake up) and also the fact that my family will have to dress me. In what? Idk. God this is the first time i've actually release how i feel out into the open. I haven't even been able to write this in a notebook or anything. Thanks i guess. You only asked one question, but i gave more than that. Sorry.

No worries. We are always here. Vent and let it out. We understand your feelings.