I can do *anything*

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Since I've decided to kill myself, it dawns on me that I can do anything I want without having to fear the consequences. I might be going crazy with this newfound power. I'm someone who always stays within the limits and hates breaking rules. I've watched others play loose with the rules, say whatever they want whenever they want, and their lives are seldom if ever plagued by the consequences. Meanwhile, I've played by the rules, denied my less desirable urges, and have still been made to suffer. Well, I'm sick of that.

Just before I go, I'm going to cause hell. I'm going to say all the things I've wanted to say to those who've persecuted me, and I want it to be their final memory of me. I'm not going to mince words or tread carefully. I don't care about the aftermath of it. I'll be dead and gone. I hope they suffer. I hope they hurt. I hope they feel some semblance of the pain they put me through.

I'm not going quietly. My death is going to be an event. No one else is going to die or be physically injured, but I'm going to make my departure memorable. Everyone who hurt me will know what they did.

This is very out of character for me, but I don't really care. Maybe I'll chicken out because it's not in my nature, but I sure hope I don't. Being 'myself' has obviously not worked out well. One last chance to be someone else.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.

- Elie Wiesel

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I love that idea. I've always wished I had it in me to be angry and just let go not be afraid of how my words will affect others. But I'm too weak to try it. I sort of fantasize telling people what I think: I think that's as close as I'll come. Just in my imagination. I have a few ideas about how I want to make it an event but it's not as good as this. Go for it!

 

[greyo]

Eh, I think living in this hellscape reality is enough punishment for those who wronged me, let them drown in the mud they created. Not that I haven't thought about my hypothetical outrageous no fucks given moments.

 

[almostnohopeleft.]

This is actually an interesting point. In some ways, suicide can motivate you to do whatever, since the fallback is just it will end. Whenever I get better, I notice that I feel more suicidal, but in ways that feel just as good as living free. It helps me push through things with all my might because I know at the end is just peace if I don't make it.

 

[softfuzzyman]

i'm always really jealous of people who feel this way i wish i could have that sense of freedom, but alas my brain keeps irrationally tormenting me no matter how hard i keep telling myself it doesn't matter and i can just let go because it'll be over soon.

 

[ZardozOmega]

I hope you're not pulling an Elliot Rodgers

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I hope you're not pulling an Elliot Rodgers

"No one else is going to die or be physically injured"

 

[inactive]

I'm not going quietly. My death is going to be an event.

Admirable attitude!

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I took a similar stance a while back and its been rather liberating.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/wreckless-abandon-as-a-form-of-recovery.27243/

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I took a similar stance a while back and its been rather liberating.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/wreckless-abandon-as-a-form-of-recovery.27243/

How are you now?

 

[Cant Maintain]

I'd love to absolutely vindictively tear into my family about the abuse I endured, them withholding that I was autistic, not believing when a family member tried to shower with me, teasing me for my first attempt, and making my life a living hell for a massive chunk of my life, and driving me into the hands of a groomer at 18 in an attempt to escape.
But they wouldn't be willing to admit that they have done wrong. They would just continue on their way doing what they do. Besides, I'd rather not even talk to them and let the silence of several years continue for an eternity.
Idk, I think there's a liberating aspect to it, I just think I don't have the braves to hurt someone deeply like that. Doing whatever the hell you want with 0 concern is nice from time to time tho.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

How are you now?

Still doing the same thing and still not giving a fuck lol. Alot less worries and a decent bit of success using this method.

@Wisdom3_1-9 I'd definitely follow through with your idea and let us know how it works for you!

 

[icanhasnick]

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING !!!11