Venting I believe it's over now

[shrobae]

Theres so many people in the world, why should i try to be good at anything. There will always be someone better. Thats why i don't like relationships too. I can always be outdone and this idea right here is going to drive me to ctb. I hate myself now. I had decent self esteem but realizing this has crushed whatever was there. i feel like im overreacting but i just wanna die now. couldnt be bothered to try, but at the same time i want to recover. i want to get better. i just cant think of any way to cope with this. ill always be outdone. i cant live with that fact.

 

[Ethel]

Being outdone is not something that bad Bae,when you talk about hobbies or skills,being good isn't everything, it's more about availability,ability and enjoyment

As for relationships,the analogy of the red roses from little prince kinda answers that,it's not about being better,equal or under. It's the time you spend with someone that makes them special to you.
I guess

 

[shrobae]

Being outdone is not something that bad Bae,when you talk about hobbies or skills,being good isn't everything, it's more about availability,ability and enjoyment

As for relationships,the analogy of the red roses from little prince kinda answers that,it's not about being better,equal or under. It's the time you spend with someone that makes them special to you.
I guess

trying to open my mind up to that idea. idk im in a hole rn and dont know exactly why
but thank u

 

[Ethel]

It's okay,I can relate to that.
Knowing and seeing someone is much better than me makes me envious ,but I know that things aren't this white/black,cuz I only know my life and no-one else

 

[Davey40210]

I used to think I would become the best guitarist in the world so I practiced for 4 hours every single day (yeah, I think this is also a sign of autism to do extreme repetitive behavior). I had no friends anyway so had the time available.

Then I saw the young son of a guitar instructor on stage killing it, and realized he was probably taught by a professional instructor even before he could walk. And then I realized there must be hundreds like him just in my city. And some may actually have innate talent.

It made me realize exactly what you are talking about.

I still like to play sometimes though :-).

If your sole goal is to be the best at something you could pick something very obscure. But instead I would recommend to pick a goal that helps you. Like becoming the best at knowing yourself. Or the best at being happy.

Not sure why I think I should give any advice as my own mind is in shambles but hope it helps. If you think its a stupid comment you can also tell me, I'm used to it.