I am too sensitive to survive in this world

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

A person can mean well, tell a joke, etc. But I will always cry and find fault with everything
3 reasons why I should CTB
1) I always get hurt by people and can never find decent people
2) I in turn hurt people with my BPD
3) I am far too sensitive to everything

 

[Good4Nothing]

Same. Except I don't cry. I just get angry.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Same. Except I don't cry. I just get angry.

I get angry, try to take revenge, then cry, then contemplate suicide, repeat

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

So that must be a lot of revenge taking. Sounds dangerous to be around you frankly. Don't get upset by this please, I'm on your side.
I'm sorry life is so painful for you. Have you given much thought to how all this happens rationally? I mean if it's logical? I guess when you are dealing with BPD it isn't in your control.

I had someone with BPD break my car windshield. He was mad at me I guess.

Do you feel I am dangerous because I have BPD?

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I have no idea if you are or not. I just said I knew someone who had it and we had a great time together until he went off his meds, then I watched him drive up to my car and break the windshield. I don't like the idea of anyone getting revenge.

I also knew someone else who would get mad at everyone routinely after knowing them a short time, then do something terrible to them because they felt justified. Then because I tried to help they got mad at me and did something terrible to me. Just my own experience. I don't have good experiences.

I mean, the only thing I would do is lash out. Which is not ok. Breaking windows and abusing others is just not ok. BPD or not, they're toxic people to be around. I am sorry for your experiences. Things like this cause BPD to have a bad rep

Tbh I feel I am destined to become bad. In my case, its due to so much abuse and no justice that I feel a desire to take things into my own hands. That or CTB, most likely the latter

 

[FewerMoats]

Do you feel I am dangerous because I have BPD?

People are such assholes about people with BPD. Like the stigma helps us heal, thanks.

I get it, some of them have had bad experiences with someone, but that doesn't represent everyone who has BPD. It's offensive and really depressing because I already feel isolated. You can't tell anyone you have BPD, because they immediately judge you, even if you've done nothing wrong.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Please just be careful. It's easy to mess things up really badly if you do some things.

Yeah I know. Whats your opinion of people with BPD

People are such assholes about people with BPD. Like the stigma helps us heal, thanks.

I get it, some of them have had bad experiences with someone, but that doesn't represent everyone who has BPD. It's offensive and really depressing because I already feel isolated. You can't tell anyone you have BPD, because they immediately judge you, even if you've done nothing wrong.

That goes for a lot of mental disorders. So much stigma. We have so long to go

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I've experienced it due to a drug I was put on. I have no opinion other than complete sympathy.

A drug?

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

A drug?

Oh I just read your edit lol. When you say you had a bout of BPD, was it just the medication or were you diagnosed with BPD?

I was put on a very high dose of an MAO inhibitor due to depression and stopped eating, stopped sleeping and drove around all night crying. For months. I was out of it. I was manic.

Honestly its why I am wearing off my antidepressants. they dont do shit

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I got diagnosed with hypothyroidism too.
My psych is a bitch. Point blank blaming me for my depression. I cant wait to get off meds and be done with her ass
Ive had good therapists. I have had shit psychiatrists. And no I am just on Zoloft

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I'd rather not take meds at all. At least for now

 

[Lawliet]

I have BPD too. It fucking sucks. I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I have BPD too. It fucking sucks. I'm sorry you're going through this.

thanks. makes me want to die whenever I do somethign bad to someone

 

[Lawliet]

thanks. makes me want to die whenever I do somethign bad to someone

I literally just accidentally pissed off a friend and it was like "time to die".BPD makes you feel things 500 times worse

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I literally just accidentally pissed off a friend and it was like "time to die".BPD makes you feel things 500 times worse

fucking always. Someone hasn't responded to me when I lashed out and I am already thinking "if they cut me off (understandable) then I will kill myself"

 

[Lawliet]

fucking always. Someone hasn't responded to me when I lashed out and I am already thinking "if they cut me off (understandable) then I will kill myself"

This is exactly what I'm thinking. I'm trying to reach out to them and apologize but they aren't responding. It's so infuriating

 

[Meditation guide]

Someone hasn't responded to me when I lashed out

When you lash out what do you do?

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

This is exactly what I'm thinking. I'm trying to reach out to them and apologize but they aren't responding. It's so infuriating

Best to leave it. Cooling off is important. We cant control the other person, and regardless if what happens its a lesson for us. Still sad tho

When you lash out what do you do?

Usually I get angry and say mean things. Not like cursing more like "leave me alone" or "I dont care anymore"

 

[Lawliet]

Best to leave it. Cooling off is important. We cant control the other person, and regardless if what happens its a lesson for us. Still sad tho

Yeah I'm trying to get to sleep. I like your avatar by the way. Thanks for chatting.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Yeah I'm trying to get to sleep. I like your avatar by the way. Thanks for chatting.

sure thing. and thanks