crybaby

crybaby

Member
Dec 4, 2019
95
My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. He used to abuse me and caused great harm to me, but I would rather he kill me than leave me.My heart is broken...I feel so lonely...
My depression is very serious.I really need someone to talk with me. The people around me are very discriminating against me suffering from this disease, so my friends are few, and they don't seem to care about me. I confided to one of my 'friends' a few days ago. Later he told others what I said. Those people regarded me as a joke and sent me a message asking: Why don't you go to kill yourself?
This really hurts me. Does everyone want me to die? No one loves me, no one want to talk with me,no one can help me, my depression is getting worse. Why are the people around me so unfriendly to me? My parents, friends, ex-boyfriends, and even strangers treat me badly. I'm really painful. I often ask myself why I don't ctb. Every night I feel very lonely and cry constantly. I plan to ctb in June. I don't seem to be afraid of death anymore..I am really desperate..(sry i am not good at english)
 
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M

madbananas

Wizard
Apr 29, 2020
620
My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. He used to abuse me and caused great harm to me, but I would rather he kill me than leave me.My heart is broken...I feel so lonely...
I really need someone to talk with me. The people around me are very discriminating against me suffering from this disease, so my friends are few, and they don't seem to care about me. I confided to one of my 'friends' a few days ago. Later he told others what I said. Those people regarded me as a joke and sent me a message asking: Why don't you go to kill yourself?
This really hurts me. Does everyone want me to die? No one loves me, no one want to talk with me,no one can help me, my depression is getting worse. Why are the people around me so unfriendly to me? My parents, friends, ex-boyfriends, and even strangers treat me badly. I'm really painful. I often ask myself why I don't ctb. Every night I feel very lonely and cry constantly. I plan to ctb in June. I don't seem to be afraid of death anymore..I am really desperate..(sry i am not good at english)

I am so sorry you are Going through all this. People say stupid things. I'd be shocked if they weren't sad after you died (unless they are complete sociopaths). Sadly, bullies typically make comments like these without thinking about the likelihood of their comment becoming a reality. Loneliness, heart break and crying is an awful combination (I've been there too many times). I'm here if you would like to chat further.
 
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FriendofDeath

FriendofDeath

Elementalist
May 22, 2020
833
You are in a difficult situation. You've been used and probably can't trust anybody. Those things people say? I will never understand that.

About your depression - is this something you have ever been treated for? There are therapies and medications that can help. Have you ever worked with a professional? Maybe you can discover something that helps you deal with the disease better. Not everyone wants you to die. I don't know you, but I can hear the hopelessness in your post, and I got mad when I read what people were saying to you. I'm sorry you've been hurt like that.
 
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