Help I am suffering and I am scared

[lunargreenx]

I want to do SN, it seems perfect. After 2 failed suicide attempts in my childhood, I finally found the method that is perfect.
I suffered for 10 years of my life. I know pain longer than joy. Instead of growing I am fading. I am 19 yo now. I am so tired.

I want to end it but there's one stupid thing stopping me. For years people told me I would go to hell for being gay and for killing myself. I never believed in god, but this kind of emotional manipulation is really hard to ignore. I am so scared that there's more suffering after death.

 

[pentobarbitaldreams]

There is no hell. Look at hell the same way you'd look at the Egyptian or Greek afterlife; the odds of all afterlives are equal, as all religions are ultimately made up by people.

 

[heraclitus]

You've been to hell and back - they haven't. Who would you trust.

I'm guessing that the people who threw hell at you were Christians? The Bible does not condemn homosexuality, only sodomy - Leviticus. You think they'd know that!

 

[Walilamdzi]

If they're all going to be in heaven then what sort of a heaven would that be?

 

[Morphosis]

If they're all going to be in heaven then what sort of a heaven would that be?

My thoughts exactly.
I think a lot of so-called Christians are in for a shock when they are queuing up at heaven's door, when they see all the people they condemned getting in ahead of them. And hopefully God will condemn THEM instead for all the judgemental hypocrisy and acting in His name in such a non-Christian way.
There are nice non-judgemental genuine Christians in the world. I think I might've even met one once. However, my experience has mostly been receipt of judgemental criticism from homophobic hypocritical Bible-bashers condemning everyone else to hell who doesn't fit into their neat little box. Boy meets girl, no sex before marriage, 2.4 kids. ALL other relationships, tough shit, down to hell we go. According to them of course. Hell for me would be having to spend eternity with such narrow-minded twits.
One such person was a female minister in her 70s, preaching hell fire and brimstone and eternal damnation to all gay people. She was married and a grandmother. Around 25 years ago, when I was only 18, she came to visit me when I got home from hospital after major surgery. This paragon of virtue tried to kiss me, planting the lips on me in an attempt at a full-on snog. I nearly fell over backwards trying to get away from her. She even said beforehand she wanted to give me "a proper kiss" and her intentions were clear. (I'm also female by the way.)
So who has more issues? Me or her?
@lunargreenx do NOT let these bastards warp your mind and fill you with fear. You can't choose who you fall in love with. Nor should you be made to feel inferior or ashamed of who you are.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Dont worry about hell and heaven. We all die someday, gay or not, suicide or natural. Keep in mind bible has been altered many times, adjusted to help control the crowd.. yes churches do that. Very old bible i got is far different then newer versions. So in the end, god might not even care. You just let that stress go and keep in mind, god loves all of his creations. Those with mental issues are judged differently, because of their pain, they say

 

[Torbasco]

I don't feel like any merciful God would allow such unequal suffering for certain people and punish people who try to run away from it. I didn't ask to be born.

 

[FriendofDeath]

I can't believe in a hell. If there is a Supreme Being who is all forgiving, how can he/she send anyone to hell?

 

[Crumbledank]

I want to do SN, it seems perfect. After 2 failed suicide attempts in my childhood, I finally found the method that is perfect.
I suffered for 10 years of my life. I know pain longer than joy. Instead of growing I am fading. I am 19 yo now. I am so tired.

I want to end it but there's one stupid thing stopping me. For years people told me I would go to hell for being gay and for killing myself. I never believed in god, but this kind of emotional manipulation is really hard to ignore. I am so scared that there's more suffering after death.

There is absolutely no evidence of heaven or hell, only man-made stories. Humans make shit up.

 

[mr.Switchblade]

Whenever i lost consciousness, because of my illnesses, I've seen nothing. Absolutely nothing. I wasn't exist until i regained consciousness. So i don't believe there's something behind death. And this scares me most: i want my mind/thoughts live forever :)