Venting I am so broken and pathetic and weak

[Namelesa]

I feel so broken. I can't tolerate with having to do basic tasks everyday. I can't have a consistent motivation to work even if I don't overwork and burn myself out. I can't manage my emotions in close friendships/relationships. I don't know how I am supposed to cope with one of these things let allow all of them. The activities I enjoy give me less positive feelings as time passes.

I feel so pathetic. I never been able to do anything successfully for long amounts of time. I couldn't handle school at all. I wasn't enough for my first relationship and was broken down by it despite it only lasting 2 and half months and not recovering until I went into my next one a year later. I didn't deal with the problems of the 2nd relationship and my fear of abandonment and neediness causing me to do actions that have lead to us being separated. I miss him so much.

I feel so weak. Little things can suddenly make me upset and not even be able to even function a little bit. I am barely hanging on to any good feelings I get now. I am so helpless without someone to give me physical affection and to emotionally take care or me and value me. Doing things mentally can be tiring and sometimes I am physically weak so even moving my body feels tiring. I can't even hide my suicialness from my family so I can't even be able to have more freedom to get better or to die.

How the fluff does the average person do and deal with so much compared to me? How am I supposed to find fulfillment when I can't even cope with doing these things a little bit and am losing it from the easy activities? I hate how I can barely do anything.

 

[Halfhourdays]

Ever read A Deer In The Works, by Kurt Vonnegut? Or ever see The Lego Movie? Do normal, happy, well adjusted people ever look like the Lego people singing "Everything is Awesome" while folks like is writhe in existential agony? I hate being around normal people sometimes.

I can't stand the low energy/inability to focus that can accompany depression. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Hollowman]

Very relatable. I wonder a lot too how the majority can handle so much. I haven't worked in four and a half months and I've barely been doing anything. I'm going back to work soon, I hope I can handle it. Hopefully you'll be able to figure something out.

 

[DarknessWave]

I feel the same way, I just can't stand myself anymore

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Don't put yourself down, most people can do activities you can't mainly because they feel positive things from their hobbies for example. They might not see things the same way you do or don't want to and that allows them to perform, that , in my opinion is no reason to feel pathetic over, you shouldn't be forced to act a certain way and be a certain way to be able to thrive in life, especially since humans consider themselves better than animals (we are not as you can see since you and me both are here)

I always considered talent to be non existent in most activities, the real talent which is more luck is about how much shit you can sweep under the rug and how well you can cope with life and that kind of talent shouldn't be the end all be all of life. Life is a nice concept however it's not very well implemented and won't be for a long time.

 

[deadbidaylight]

Hey there! I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time right now. Your depression definitely sounds crippling. Are you taking any medication at all?

I too was in the same position you're describing just a few short months ago (started in November) and I got a new prescription from my doctor and so far it's brought me out of that horrific mental state and I am starting to enjoy things again like I used to. I still have bad days, but lately the good days are definitely outweighing the bad.

I've been on strictly anti depressants for years, and the new meds that were tacked on are only for anxiety. So I am taking 2 different meds for 2 different symptoms and they seem to be agreeing with me. Wondering if maybe something like that might help you too?

Hey there! I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time right now. Your depression definitely sounds crippling. Are you taking any medication at all?

I too was in the same position you're describing just a few short months ago (started in November) and I got a new prescription from my doctor and so far it's brought me out of that horrific mental state and I am starting to enjoy things again like I used to. I still have bad days, but lately the good days are definitely outweighing the bad.

I've been on strictly anti depressants for years, and the new meds that were tacked on are only for anxiety. So I am taking 2 different meds for 2 different symptoms and they seem to be agreeing with me. Wondering if maybe something like that might help you too?

Also, you are NOT pathetic. You are NOT weak. Don't let those intrusive thoughts in. When we're in the depths of depression, it's so easy to listen to that inner voice that's trying to take you down. You are absolutely neither of those things. We all struggle in our own ways, and we all have triggers in our lives. Needing some help to mentally get back on your feet is not a sign of weakness or failure, I promise. The self loathing and self doubt is inside your head. It's all part of the game your mind is playing. It's so easy to demean yourself when you're in such a dark headspace. I get it. But you are not any of those things. You are human. And you have feelings. And that's all there is. You are no less than others. Even the "happiest" folks are battling things behind closed doors that we know nothing about. Support is what you need, and we are here for you.

 

[Namelesa]

Hey there! I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time right now. Your depression definitely sounds crippling. Are you taking any medication at all?

I too was in the same position you're describing just a few short months ago (started in November) and I got a new prescription from my doctor and so far it's brought me out of that horrific mental state and I am starting to enjoy things again like I used to. I still have bad days, but lately the good days are definitely outweighing the bad.

I've been on strictly anti depressants for years, and the new meds that were tacked on are only for anxiety. So I am taking 2 different meds for 2 different symptoms and they seem to be agreeing with me. Wondering if maybe something like that might help you too?

Yes I am taking anti depressants and this the 2nd kind I have tired. I been on both these anti depressants for quite a long time spans at different doses but honestly if doesn't make me feel any different. I also have medication that is given me to calm down but it mostly just makes go to sleep which is still helpful for me as I like to use sleep as a way to skip more of my life. I only use that tho when in really intense mental pain as if I consistently take it I build a resistance to it.

Also, you are NOT pathetic. You are NOT weak. Don't let those intrusive thoughts in. When we're in the depths of depression, it's so easy to listen to that inner voice that's trying to take you down. You are absolutely neither of those things. We all struggle in our own ways, and we all have triggers in our lives. Needing some help to mentally get back on your feet is not a sign of weakness or failure, I promise. The self loathing and self doubt is inside your head. It's all part of the game your mind is playing. It's so easy to demean yourself when you're in such a dark headspace. I get it. But you are not any of those things. You are human. And you have feelings. And that's all there is. You are no less than others. Even the "happiest" folks are battling things behind closed doors that we know nothing about. Support is what you need, and we are here for you.

Doesn't feel like intrusive thoughts but feels like facts to me. When I say this I don't mean it in a negative self worth way, I just mean it as I am literally unable to cope and do things. I don't view myself as being less deserving support for this for not being unable to do these things, I am just tired of being like this as it makes it harder to cope with life.

 

[deadbidaylight]

Yes I am taking anti depressants and this the 2nd kind I have tired. I been on both these anti depressants for quite a long time spans at different doses but honestly if doesn't make me feel any different. I also have medication that is given me to calm down but it mostly just makes go to sleep which is still helpful for me as I like to use sleep as a way to skip more of my life. I only use that tho when in really intense mental pain as if I consistently take it I build a resistance to it.

Doesn't feel like intrusive thoughts but feels like facts to me. When I say this I don't mean it in a negative self worth way, I just mean it as I am literally unable to cope and do things. I don't view myself as being less deserving support for this for not being unable to do these things, I am just tired of being like this as it makes it harder to cope with life.

Would you be willing to try another type of medication? Have both kinds that you've tried been the same kind (ie SSRIs etc)? Maybe one that targets a different area of imbalance could be the thing that could change how you feel?

 

[Namelesa]

Would you be willing to try another type of medication? Have both kinds that you've tried been the same kind (ie SSRIs etc)? Maybe one that targets a different area of imbalance could be the thing that could change how you feel?

Both have been SSRI but doctors don't want to give me anything particular strong or different cus of my age. Also its hard to get anything mental health help wise with NHS as I am only having mental health assessment every few months. Personally I think medication isn't going to solve my problems here. My mental pain tolerance as just decreased from bad life stuff like school and relationships and it never seems to improve even after long spans of time.

 

[deadbidaylight]

Both have been SSRI but doctors don't want to give me anything particular strong or different cus of my age. Also its hard to get anything mental health help wise with NHS as I am only having mental health assessment every few months. Personally I think medication isn't going to solve my problems here. My mental pain tolerance as just decreased from bad life stuff like school and relationships and it never seems to improve even after long spans of time.

I'm really sorry that it's a daily struggle for you. I don't have all the answers, but I offer you my sympathy and unconditional support. If you ever need to vent, or need to chat to someone who will listen without judgement, please don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here for you if you want it.

In the meantime, I truly hope you're able to get some relief soon. My heart goes out to you.

 

[Hollowman]

Would you be willing to try another type of medication? Have both kinds that you've tried been the same kind (ie SSRIs etc)? Maybe one that targets a different area of imbalance could be the thing that could change how you feel?

Target different areas of imbalance? You don't actually think Dr.s have the brain figured out like that do you? They absolutely don't. They don't know how medications 'work'. The chemical imbalance theory was never proven.

 

[deadbidaylight]

Target different areas of imbalance? You don't actually think Dr.s have the brain figured out like that do you? They absolutely don't. They don't know how medications 'work'. The chemical imbalance theory was never proven.

I'm not gonna sit here and debate with you on this. I've got better things to do with my time. I respectfully disagree with you.

Not sure which part of the world you're from, but where I'm from, healthcare professionals are pretty advanced in the field of mental health. My doctor is very apprised on these medications, and he is very thorough with diagnostics needed. I am really lucky. Everything that I've been prescribed by him based off testing and my symptoms has been effective for me, so I guess that gives me a different opinion than you. I'm sorry you feel the way you do.

Have a good evening.

 

[Hollowman]

I'm not gonna sit here and debate with you on this. I've got better things to do with my time. I respectfully disagree with you.

Not sure which part of the world you're from, but where I'm from, healthcare professionals are pretty advanced in the field of mental health. My doctor is very apprised on these medications, and he is very thorough with diagnostics needed. I am really lucky. Everything that I've been prescribed by him based off testing and my symptoms has been effective for me, so I guess that gives me a different opinion than you. I'm sorry you feel the way you do.

Have a good evening.

Congrats you're one of lucky ones I guess. These meds have ruined many lives. They're advanced at fooling people. Good luck hopefully you won't get PSSD like I did.

 

[Rymrgand]

I'm so sorry. I know that being like that sucks a lot. I have destroyed some relationships myself for being incapable of controlling my emotions. For getting too needy or too toxic or too paranoid.

But with luck, maybe we can improve. If we find a healthy relationship, and we control themselves enough until we get used to it, maybe we will be able to change that mentality.

Congrats you're one of lucky ones I guess. These meds have ruined many lives. They're advanced at fooling people. Good luck hopefully you won't get PSSD like I did.

Even if it's true that a lot of patients have got worse or simply haven't improved as a consequence of taking the wrong meds, I feel like you are being resentful. I'm sorry that they have made you suffer and I understand your need to vent, but your criticism could convince someone else to not trust doctors, and that could be dangerous.

They don't know a lot about the brain, but they know how the meds work. They are not fooling people, they are not giving placebos. They have ruined lives, yes, but they have helped a lot of people too.

 

[Namelesa]

@Hollowman @deadbidaylight @Rymrgand I want to add to this discussion of antidepressants being effective or disadvantageous.

While yes these medication can definitely help with depression, it can sometimes not and are sometimes be a detriment to the person. Doctors don't even fully understand what they do and how depression works so thats definitely going to lead to things getting worse for some people. Antidepressants do have risks when taking them that need to be considered so when doctors are lazy and just give it out so they can try to fix the problem quickly and try to make you believe that this is what will work, it can be dangerous. Its obvious that antidepressants aren't a full on solution to depression or even be useless at being able to help with it. I mean a lot of people here are evidence of that as they have taken different kinds of antidepressants but still suffering greatly mentally. I would say the chemical imbalance thing can be true or false but it depends on the person and their depression.