I am now a 22-year-old virgin with no degree, no job, and no hope in sight

[56709]

If I went back to school I would graduate at 26 years and even then there are no guarantees that I could hold or even find a job since I am fucked in terms of social skills and physical health and have very little job experience (and none related to any field you would need a degree for).
The chances that I'll meet someone who accepts me are approaching zero.

All that I will leave behind if I ctb now are my parents and siblings, and my 'mark' on the world would be a few forgotten forum posts.

 

[UninformedLover]

I can empathize with you a great deal. Nobody ever realizes how detrimental lack of social skills and looks are in this society. I severely lack social skills and it's hard. It really is. Expressing such pessimism towards love is understandable but also sadden.

Have you ever thought of doing school online?

 

[56709]

I can empathize with you a great deal. Nobody ever realizes how detrimental lack of social skills and looks are in this society. I severely lack social skills and it's hard. It really is. Expressing such pessimism towards love is understandable but also sadden.

Have you ever thought of doing school online?

I have considered doing online courses or not going for a Bachelor's and getting a certification, but again I'm 22 and have minimal work experience so it's not like having those would guarantee anything.

 

[UninformedLover]

I have considered doing online courses or not going for a Bachelor's and getting a certification, but again I'm 22 and have minimal work experience so it's not like having those would guarantee anything.

Ah I see. You're young (although you're older than me haha) I think you have time to still decide what you want to do.

Sometimes I wished society was formed to accommodate people like you or me (or atleast geared in a way so that you can just enjoy life.) Instead you have basically sleep and work and work until you die. Otherwise you'll be broke and homeless and what sucks is that you can be both those things and still have a job.

 

[56709]

Ah I see. You're young (although you're older than me haha) I think you have time to still decide what you want to do.

Sometimes I wished society was formed to accommodate people like you or me (or atleast geared in a way so that you can just enjoy life.) Instead you have basically sleep and work and work until you die. Otherwise you'll be broke and homeless and what sucks is that you can be both those things and still have a job.

I don't see myself as young at all... I missed every major milestone and would be the same age as most people graduating if I went back to school now.

Most of life is social networking and self-marketing, the way it looks right now I will have a very hard time finding anyone that would accept me, even if I were healthy physically and decent-looking.

When I was a teen I felt that way, that life should be geared towards enjoyment and hated the idea of the endless school and work grind. I despaired that relationships were so fragile and short-lasting, that you could be replaced at any time. I was already embarrassed about being poor and coming from a dysfunctional(and abusive) family.

Now I may never be able to find work, enter a romantic relationship, and with all of the shame that I feel about my age and the choices that I have made, I don't feel like trying anymore.

Suicide may be the best option at this point, I can't justify spending more years as a burden on my family, not enriching anyone's life or being comfortable leaving the house.

I am currently living with my 15-year-old sister though, and don't want to traumatize or otherwise influence her.

 

[jgm63]

22 is SUPER young. So is 26, so don't worry about the age/time thing....
Can you find a subject that you are passionate about or care about, and study that ?
It could lead somewhere great....

Looks can be overrated.
If you learn to love yourself, your own inner energy will make you more attractive than you might expect, to certain people ( the right people, that is ).

If you develop a quiet confidence in yourself over time then that can make an "ugly" person very attractive....
When the time is right, you might meet someone who appreciates you for you.

Health issues : Those can be challenging..... Depends on how severe those are..... Do you think those might be solvable ?

Social skills : Those can probably be worked on, and might even be a bit overrated in some cases.
Perhaps you worry too much about pleasing others instead of just being unique and being you ?
Just because the people you've met so far are too stupid to appreciate you, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you....

Of course, I don't know all the details of your situation, but I'm just hoping that some of the points above might help you to rethink some things ?

 

[puppy9]

I am now a 26-year-old virgin(don't care about this; asexual), with no degree, no job, and no hope in sight.

 

[Mr2005]

Was a virgin until 21 but have no job or degree at 33

 

[Sael]

I can relate to you, but trust me, these are things that could easily be fixed, I understand that it could be difficult doing things that for others may come so easy and this could even overwhelm you, making you think you're not good enough or feeling like you just cant do it, but if you really wanted to you could, and be very successful. Finishing a degree at 26 is normal. There are people at 70 still doing a degree right now. I myself finished at 28. Not having a job could be fixed, maybe you just dont want to work, and saying that you have no work skills or even physical skills is not a reason not to have a job. You could maybe try a call center, you dont need to have any skill at all to work there and they will teach you everything, could even work from home.

The fact that you find being a virgin at 22 tells me that you may just want the attention from someone, that you just want someone to notice that you even exist, being a virgin should be the least of your problems. Maybe you're a virgin because you don't want to meet people. Keep in mind that the more people you meet the better the chances of you finding someone. Someone will eventually come to love you just the way you are, no need to rush life at 22. Wish I was 22 and had your problems, my life could easily be saved.

If you need someone to talk to, you cam PM me.
All the best wishes to you. :)

 

[56709]

I can relate to you, but trust me, these are things that could easily be fixed, I understand that i could be difficult doing things that for other may come so easy and this could overwhelm you, making you think you're not good enough or feeling like you just cant do it, but if you really wanted to you could and very be successful. Finishing a degree at 26 is normal. There are people at 70 still doing a degree right now. I myself finished at 28. Not having a job could be fixed, maybe you just dont want to work, and saying that you have no work skills or even physical skills is not a reason not to have a job. You could maybe try a call center, you dont need to have any skill at all to work there and they will teach you everything, could even work from home.

The fact that you find being a virgin at 22 tells me that you may just want the attention from someone, that you just want someone to notice that you even exist, being a virgin should be the least of your problems. Maybe you're a virgin because you don't want to meet people. Keep in mind that the more people you meet the better the chances of you finding someone. Someone will eventually come to love you just the way you are, no need to rush life at 22. Wish I was 22 and had your problems, my life could easily be saved.

If you need someone to talk to, you cam PM me.
All the best wishes to you. :)

I'm sorry, let me explain...

I've applied for plenty of jobs including one at a call center. The reason I'm not working is because I've been consistently turned down, even for several foodservice and warehouse jobs...

 

[Bumblebee]

I think we need to stop and remember the site we are using is full of people with a ton of different reasons for being here. Some may be petty some may be traumatic but we arent here to judge what has made a person feel so low they end up here. Who knows if this person has people in real life bullying about this particular issue making it worse than you or i would perceive it. Learning difficulties autsim and such can change how a human looks out on life compared to their fellow companion. If you arent willing to support a persons own upset because it does not upset you then just leave it to someone who can not have ago at them for their own issue

 

[PaYo]

If I went back to school I would graduate at 26 years and even then there are no guarantees that I could hold or even find a job since I am fucked in terms of social skills and physical health and have very little job experience (and none related to any field you would need a degree for).
The chances that I'll meet someone who accepts me are approaching zero.

All that I will leave behind if I ctb now are my parents and siblings, and my 'mark' on the world would be a few forgotten forum posts.

I was in your position, chances that you will kill yourself are extremely low i tired and still here. And you know what i regret very much for not completing my high school. Back then when i was in your age. Now im 30 and im in a loot worse state that i was before. so do it as still you can

 

[Chlo]

You're 22. There are plenty of people who don't make their "mark" until their 40s.

I'm 25 and still working on my bachelors, and plan to continue at least until I get my masters, so I'll probably be in school until I'm almost 30.

Also...college is not dumb. Guy above me doesn't know what he's talking about lol.

 

[epic]

What is the status of your physical health. Is it life threatening or severely debilitating ? (Dont tell me the exact disease if you are concerned about privacy). Do you have any mental illness?

 

[56709]

I think we need to stop and remember the site we are using is full of people with a ton of different reasons for being here. Some may be petty some may be traumatic but we arent here to judge what has made a person feel so low they end up here. Who knows if this person has people in real life bullying about this particular issue making it worse than you or i would perceive it. Learning difficulties autsim and such can change how a human looks out on life compared to their fellow companion. If you arent willing to support a persons own upset because it does not upset you then just leave it to someone who can not have ago at them for their own issue

From this post it looks like you've already passed judgement on me... You know nothing about my background or any traumatic things I have experienced. I just chose to highlight this particular issue because it limits my ability to navigate through life... I will not even be able to ctb until I get these things sorted out... I'm not able to get the substances that I want or my own place to do it...

I'm not eager to share detailed personal information right now... If that means that I'm not respected... Hmph.

The things I have written here are just the tip of the iceberg, don't rush to call me petty.

 

[deflagrat]

I am a 30 y.o virgin, and I have no hope either. I am mentally disabled and I can't work in most jobs unless my employer actually understands my problems and wants to help me, which is asking way too much. It can always be worse, believe me.

 

[TAW122]

I was in a similar situation in your case, I don't want to downplay your situation because I don't understand your situation, but as for your age and given your situation, yes I only recommend that you should explore your options a bit and try some avenues before completely giving up. For gaining social skills, I don't really know much except to try to talk to people outside and just start out small, I'm also still working on my social skills and it's a long road, and I don't expect to be great, but just enough to survive and get by (basic minimum). Once you do that, you can start focusing on finishing school and/or just find a job that you are able to do and earn some money.

In regards to finding a job, I would say go to your local vocational rehab and/or job centre and then go from there. Tell them about your disability and social problem and then work with them to get some employment. You would need employment and income to survive and then be able to save up in order to progress in life. Just over a year ago, I was in a similar situation and getting job assistance from where I lived (current city) helped me get employed and be able to earn some income in order to support myself (as well as afford other amenities in life).

As far as losing your virginity, save up some money and then take a trip to a country where sex work is legal and then go there to lose virginity. I went to Amsterdam specifically to do this (along with visiting Europe and getting a small, cheap vacation), but just any country that has legal sex work would do. Alternatively, while you could go to Nevada in the US, I don't recommend that as that's much more expensive (even on the lower end) and you might get just the same quality (or worse) compared to other countries.

I don't want to sound like I'm patronizing you, but just giving my insights and what I did to solve these problems. I believe we had similar problems and I'm almost 30 years old btw. At age 22, I think you have more time than I do and possibly a few more doors of opportunities. I hope you are able to find my advice and are able to recover and progress.

 

[RestingGirl23]

OP, let me tell you that I'm sort of the same situation. I'm a 22 year old virgin in college. Personally, being a virgin doesn't matter to me because in my opinion sex is overrated. I do want to have sex with someone I trust, but I'm not actively throwing myself at people to "get rid" of my virginity because I reached a certain age.

In regards to going back to school, in my university there's plenty of people who are older that are going to finish their degree at the same time as me. Its really not a big issue. A colleague of mine has been struggling because he changed from being an art major to a business major and had to work constantly while taking full time classes. I don't (and no else cares to be honest) that he took longer than us. So study and get a degree and take your time with it. Don't worry about what anyone else is doing.

You are the only one who can change your future. I don't know what your physical health looks like, but you can fix your social skills by going to workshops usually offered in college that help you carry on a conversation during an interview. Also, go to social events even just for a little bit and just in general talk to people. You be amazed how small interactions will help you in the long run. Trust me, I'm an awkward shy person too. Not every interaction will go smoothly but what matters is that you're trying.

In the end, the only person that can help yourself is you. If you want to continue being in your situation go ahead. But you can also actively change your situation if you have the desire for it.

 

[UninformedLover]

Come on dude, not cool. This isn't the suffering Olympics. Everyone's pain is valid. Someone who drowned in 6 inches of water is just as dead as someone who drowned in 6 feet of water. You don't even know Op or their life - plus he/she literally said he/she is fucked in terms of physical health so no op doesn't have their health. Honestly if you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all.

I don't see myself as young at all... I missed every major milestone and would be the same age as most people graduating if I went back to school now.

Most of life is social networking and self-marketing, the way it looks right now I will have a very hard time finding anyone that would accept me, even if I were healthy physically and decent-looking.

When I was a teen I felt that way, that life should be geared towards enjoyment and hated the idea of the endless school and work grind. I despaired that relationships were so fragile and short-lasting, that you could be replaced at any time. I was already embarrassed about being poor and coming from a dysfunctional(and abusive) family.

Now I may never be able to find work, enter a romantic relationship, and with all of the shame that I feel about my age and the choices that I have made, I don't feel like trying anymore.

Suicide may be the best option at this point, I can't justify spending more years as a burden on my family, not enriching anyone's life or being comfortable leaving the house.

I am currently living with my 15-year-old sister though, and don't want to traumatize or otherwise influence her.

I understand your choice to give up and because we are in similar situations I heavily empathize with you. Some people are just plagued with endless problems and it gets overwhelming and everything feels hopeless. I get it.

There's a Lot of good advice here the same I was going to give. Ultimately its your choice but I think its best to exhaust all options before ctbing. I do wish you well.

 

[Woodnote]

I'm 23, never been in a relationship, don't have friends, and don't have a degree. I feel like I messed up in every area of life. I don't have any advice since I'm stuck in a similar situation. But I just wanted you to know you're not alone with this. There are plenty of others on here who feel the same. Don't let anyone make you feel like your problems aren't worthy of feeling suicidal.

 

[Alec]

I'm also 22, and I feel the same way as you and I'm a very similar situation. I've got nothing going for me and honestly I don't feel like I have the strength to try anymore. Plus I also don't have social skills at all, which I realize are very important. And I don't know how to talk to people, how to make friends, how to sell myself or anything. I don't know if it's possible to learn, I hope you will find the best way for you, and if you decide to "learn" how to do it with social skills I hope it goes great for you and you will have an incredible success! I love you!!
Also, I also want to leave this world because like I said, I've got nothing going for me.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I understand how you feel, I mean I'm 18 but my social skills are shit because of my Autism. I really want to find love but I am never lucky and don't know how to go about it so I'm gunna die alone. I'm sorry you also feel this way, I know how hard and lonely it is.

 

[Libracusp_1022]

One of my favorite expressions: "Never compare your insides with someone else's outsides."
Everyone has challenges, most pretend to the world that they are doing better than they are. There is no normal, or perfect mold to fit into. The beauty is in fact that everyone is wired differently, everyone has their own path, and their own timeline.
Looking back I wish I had not tried to be like others. It was impossible, a waste of time and energy, and steered me away from realizing my potential.
Just be you. 22 is very young. There are more and more people on the spectrum, there are people who will 'get' you. Also, Autism has it's gifts.
And you can get laid- most people are not super models, so don't worry about your looks.
Everyone (everyone!!!) struggles at your age.

 

[beatenghost]

I am 27, autistic, dropped out of university. Have no skills, no social skills, pathetic job history and haven't had a proper one in years. I have no family, I live week to week on government disability. I'm one emergency away from financial ruin at any time and unable to work a normal job. Sometimes you have to accept natural selection. I simply wasn't meant to survive

 

[Realityisawful]

You're 22. There are plenty of people who don't make their "mark" until their 40s.

That's actually my biggest fear, wasting my entire youth and peaking late. A big reason why I'd want to CTB.