I don't blame you. I wish I had done it at 26, I don't really think it was worth it to hang on. After 30 things have seemed to narrow down even further and it seems more and more pointless to carry on. It is indeed hard to keep grinding on without hope for the future. All the best to you.
@avalokitesvara I wish society understood how hard people with mental illness try so hard to give themselves a good life. Everyone thinks it's easy to see therapist and shallow some pills to stop feeling sad or anxious. If it was so easy we would all be doing it but life isn't for everyone.
As I get older It's getting harder to stay. 2023 ruined everything for me and the events I went through last year just made me believe life is not worth it.
Starting from New Years Day last year I constantly experienced Day to day normal events kept constantly going wrong.
In addition to that as well every great thing I was looking forward too got taken away from me at the last minute.
The events of last year permanently messed me up in so many ways:
βI no longer look forward to things anymore because I fear it will be taken away from me. I only feel peace once I am at my planned events. My ability to be excited for things is now completely gone
β I am constantly paranoid of being late because of an embarrassing day I had at work last year. I was 2 hours late for work through no fault of my own.
The train line i needed to take into work had severe delays causing disruption to other train routes in the city then I got lost because the boss changed the office meeting location in an area I have never been before and didn't provide clear instructions to find it.
The office he sent us too was in the middle of a confusing neighbourhood in the city. The area had multiple streets breaking off into different neighbourhoods, multiple shops everywhere and poor signage. I got lost trying to find the office. I phoned my boss that I was struggling to find the office and didn't provide clear instructions to find it.
My boss treated me like I am stupid for not being able to find it. The day I got fired my boss brought up me being late for over 2hours.
When I explained what happened the look on his face was unsympathetic and he much saw me as a incompetent employee. He was so patronising in his response " i said go left, go right and then there office "
Not many people in the department came to the office that day I now believe people saw the location and saw the problems with it. The other office the company normally uses is so easy to find.
β Someone i thought was my close friend at work was gossiping about me and she also played a role in isolating me at work. This "friend" got all the males in the department and huddled into a corner with them and ignored me at work. The other colleagues did the same to me too at work.
I am now scared to make friends at work.
β I feel in love with a 55year old man and he constantly played mind games and humiliated me. This arsehole contributed a lot to me wanting to kill myself last year.
Same, I don't think I'll get past my 20's
@isolatedl111 I hate how older people think being in your 20s is wonderful. These older people DO NOT UNDERSTAND how great they had it in their 20s.
β It was easy for older people when they were younger to find love and friendships because they were so many events, social clubs and parties they could go visit to meet other people their own age.
My generation we don't have that. Everything is online now, most community social clubs are mainly attended by elderly people, nightclubs and pubs in my city shutting down and the cost of living going up means less people are going out more.
I grew up as child in the 2000s and I wish my adulthood was in the 2000s instead. In the 2000s before the crash you could buy a house, get a job easily and there wasn't worldwide political chaos we are seeing today.
). 
