slightoverlooked
Experienced
- Dec 27, 2023
- 214
I dont want to suffer for longer. I am so sorry to my mother and everyone else. I feel horrible. But I cant stand this feeling anymore. I wanted to ctb in October 2023 but my cat got very ill (FIP diagnosis). I love my cats more than anything and I had to fight for her to keep living. Its a curable disease but very expensive and has a strict therapy plan. Her therapy went amazing and she will be considered FIP free in 8 days hopefully.
I want to put my neck between the train wrecks and just let the train decapitate me. Ik this is horrible and it will leave an ugly corpse behind and I might traumatize someone. Many ppl will sit in the train and probably curse me out bc their trains will be late bc of me. But I need a foolproof way. I need to die asap. I am holding out for my cat. But this has to stop. I need more encouragement bc i feel like i might chicken out when i stand in front of the train wrecks. I never drank alcohol...would it give me more confidence? idk. i just need this all to end. I'm so determined to just go now but I have to stay alive for my cat. I'm horrible. I'm going back and forth. i have no one to reach out to. I have therapy on 10th January. Should I tell my therapist? But she would send me to the psych ward. Idk. I want to talk to someone but I have no one. most of the ppl i talk to just say "i cant help you. i hope you feel better soon."
I'm gonna cut in a bit but i dont have bandages. idk. i wish i could just die in an eyeblink
I want to put my neck between the train wrecks and just let the train decapitate me. Ik this is horrible and it will leave an ugly corpse behind and I might traumatize someone. Many ppl will sit in the train and probably curse me out bc their trains will be late bc of me. But I need a foolproof way. I need to die asap. I am holding out for my cat. But this has to stop. I need more encouragement bc i feel like i might chicken out when i stand in front of the train wrecks. I never drank alcohol...would it give me more confidence? idk. i just need this all to end. I'm so determined to just go now but I have to stay alive for my cat. I'm horrible. I'm going back and forth. i have no one to reach out to. I have therapy on 10th January. Should I tell my therapist? But she would send me to the psych ward. Idk. I want to talk to someone but I have no one. most of the ppl i talk to just say "i cant help you. i hope you feel better soon."
I'm gonna cut in a bit but i dont have bandages. idk. i wish i could just die in an eyeblink
