In my case its treatment resistant depression and especially, severe social anxiety. I havent been like this all my life. My depression evolved when I was 17 and my social anxiety evolved when I was 25. Social anxiety turned me from a fairly social and enterprising guy with many friends to a nervous wreck that stays at home 24/7 and not being able to meet or talk to family, friends or strangers without experiencing extreme fear and discomfort. It completely changed my personality, I cant believe I got to that point. I try to survive each fucking day...Unfortunately I havent found a treatment option that gives me longer-lasting relief. I am interested, what is your story?
Most people would say I have a mental disorder because I want to kill myself. Personally, I think my decision is quite logical, rooted in issues of personality, sexuality, and life situation.
SchizophrenicFantasy
Member
- Aug 18, 2020
- 12
I'm a paranoid schizophrenic with major depressive disorder and severe anxiety and PTSD from years and years of physical and mental abuse my sister died when she was 10 i never got to say sorry for everything i did wrong and dealt with my family shoving religion in my throat telling me if i hurt myself i would go to hell and never see her again. Struggled with bullying throughout all my school life got moved into homeschool tried to CTB multiple times (hanging, cutting, pills,) failed every time by getting caught.. Never been hospitalized because my parents didn't want to "stain the family" told my family i wanted to die and i told my plan and unfortunately mom and dad never cared brothers and other family told me not to get blood everywhere so i deal with the pain of being the outcast of the family.. Rejected by family and friends I work with special needs adults trying to make a difference and i utterly fail my job and I'm probably about to get fired. And I'm about to get fucking evicted here in a couple weeks.
My main reasons summed up: life long trauma, severe abuse (mental, physical, sexual), long list of mental issues, physical issues and chronic pain, general discontent/uninterested with life and inability to fit in with society norms
SadJessu
Just tired.
- Aug 17, 2020
- 168
Top 10?
1.) Mental Illness: Aspergers, Atypical Anorexia, OCD, Depression, Panic Disorder, & Self Harm
2.) Disabilities that make it difficult to go back to school/work: Dyscalculia & Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, my body clock is different than that of society's.
3.) Chronic low self esteem from years of bullying and emotional (sometimes physical) abuse as a kid, I'll never be good enough for society or myself.
4.) Society in general sucks, from lack of morals amongst my peers, to being treated as 'less than' for being a woman (despite being anti feminist), & human nature in general.
5.) Severe CFS/ME that has crippled my existence and basically taken away my future. Chronic pain from a spinal stenosis and intermittent anemia.
6.) Feeling nihilistic, I'll never go all the places I want to go, read everything I want to read, finish all of my projects...and even if I could it doesn't matter anyway. We are nothing.
7.) Repeated bereavement from loosing pets (might seem retarded to some, but whatever), which has led me to feeling very far away from God. Especially seeing how the whole of creation lives in abject suffering from mostly man made issues.
8.) I'm a burden to those I care about.
9.) I wanted to be a mum, but coming off of the meds is a nightmare, I'd be terrified.
10.) Fear of aging and being alone.
1.) Mental Illness: Aspergers, Atypical Anorexia, OCD, Depression, Panic Disorder, & Self Harm
2.) Disabilities that make it difficult to go back to school/work: Dyscalculia & Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, my body clock is different than that of society's.
3.) Chronic low self esteem from years of bullying and emotional (sometimes physical) abuse as a kid, I'll never be good enough for society or myself.
4.) Society in general sucks, from lack of morals amongst my peers, to being treated as 'less than' for being a woman (despite being anti feminist), & human nature in general.
5.) Severe CFS/ME that has crippled my existence and basically taken away my future. Chronic pain from a spinal stenosis and intermittent anemia.
6.) Feeling nihilistic, I'll never go all the places I want to go, read everything I want to read, finish all of my projects...and even if I could it doesn't matter anyway. We are nothing.
7.) Repeated bereavement from loosing pets (might seem retarded to some, but whatever), which has led me to feeling very far away from God. Especially seeing how the whole of creation lives in abject suffering from mostly man made issues.
8.) I'm a burden to those I care about.
9.) I wanted to be a mum, but coming off of the meds is a nightmare, I'd be terrified.
10.) Fear of aging and being alone.
iDieUDie80
Arcanist
- Jul 6, 2020
- 403
feast or famine
Tell Patient Zero he can have his rib back.
- Jun 15, 2020
- 313
If I had to give the biggest reason? Probably being transgender. It's hell to live in a body you don't feel comfortable in or doesn't match with the rest of you. I've tried hormones and vocal therapy but all I got was muscle weakness and vocal pain that flares up when you talk to people. I can't hold a job with this, assuming anyone will hire me in the first place. Add some OCD, depression, and social anxiety and it just becomes too much to take.
Anthagonos
Hablo español
- Aug 9, 2020
- 201
I think its my mind.
I have always had strange thoughts that caused me lots of problems. Also difficulty to socialize.
I have always had strange thoughts that caused me lots of problems. Also difficulty to socialize.
VIBRITANNIA
lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
- Aug 10, 2020
- 1,156
past trauma i can't get over, regrets over my mistakes, dissatisfaction with my life, hatred of the world, those sorts of things.
Lone_Gray_Wolf
Fate plays chess with 2 queens
- Aug 21, 2020
- 263
Depression and disappoinment, multiple obsesive disorders and a couple things more. All of those were caused because I didn't accepted myself 6 years ago and decided to change my personality over 6 times.
Changing yourself requires a lot of effort and putted an enormous emotional pressure on me that later on couldn't hold.
That left me with no sense of self identity and the reason why I got depressed.
Changing yourself requires a lot of effort and putted an enormous emotional pressure on me that later on couldn't hold.
That left me with no sense of self identity and the reason why I got depressed.
Ardesevent
It’s the end of the line, cowboy
- Feb 2, 2020
- 358
softfuzzyman
Rot
- Aug 17, 2020
- 77
Treatment resistant depression here too. ptsd, anxiety, and autism. My brain is utterly wrecked and no amount of treatment helps or makes me functional. All day every day my brain just screams to CTB.
Former drug abuse, mismanagement of my life, increasing social phobia and depression, debt and the feeling that at 32 I have no direction, have failed at two different careers now which could possibly mean having to move back with my parents, and a general feeling of despair that there is no future for me. Not that I can see or am interest in anyway. Also the feeling that nothing matters and that this society is a perpetual rat race to survive and procreate which is incredibly depressing. I also dread the idea of having kids and having nothing of note to share with them to assist with their ability to survive and procreate.
TheSoundofTime
In time you will find peace...
- Aug 9, 2020
- 71
I know this feeling, its really unbearable. Its also the main reason why I want to quit. Was there any treatment method that gave you a bit of relief?
I can relate, I feel like I am brain dead for the last 3 years
lost guy
Just a guy trying to work things out.
- Aug 12, 2020
- 94
