Help I am becoming an alcoholic.

[obei]

I dont feel like there is any hope anymore. I gotta ctb in order to not be a burden anymore, cause if I get addicted I will be nothing more than that.
So I started drinking when I was 15, only sometimes w friends. Then a few years after I would drink every day for like a week and then take breaks, so it was fine.
But recently I started again, every day, or every few days, and I dont feel like I can stop this time. I realized now how bad it is since I drank a bottle of wine today (which is a lot for light weight like me), half at 11am, got sober, then again around 6pm, got sober again, and now plan on how to get drunk tomorrow.
I completely get unattached to this world, nothing matters other than my drinks.
So please, tell me how to stop this… should I tell my psychiatrist (again) to put me ip? (I do feel like she would ask me to come to that hospital if she thinks its bad enough tho) should I stop everything I am doing (very little) to sober up? Should I work myself into ground in order to not have time to drink?
Please tell me your thoughts, I feel like imma be a dead person soon if this doesnt stop,
today I thought about slashing my wrist while drunk, was close enough to do it, since I dont feel fear about pain or anything when drunk…
Also, to clarify, my father knows, but understands now hard it is for me (love him) so he doesnt argue w me or anything. My mother is rly hard to talk to, she will kill me herself if she finds out, and my brother doesnt know, since I drink out of a normal glass so he thinks its a glass of coke (he cant rly smell since covid)

 

[Aim]

Ouch! Better try seeking help

 

[UKscotty]

You should seek help if that's what you want. Maybe try the recovery section here? Sure there's plenty of recovering alcoholics there.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

I dont feel like there is any hope anymore. I gotta ctb in order to not be a burden anymore, cause if I get addicted I will be nothing more than that.
So I started drinking when I was 15, only sometimes w friends. Then a few years after I would drink every day for like a week and then take breaks, so it was fine.
But recently I started again, every day, or every few days, and I dont feel like I can stop this time. I realized now how bad it is since I drank a bottle of wine today (which is a lot for light weight like me), half at 11am, got sober, then again around 6pm, got sober again, and now plan on how to get drunk tomorrow.
I completely get unattached to this world, nothing matters other than my drinks.
So please, tell me how to stop this… should I tell my psychiatrist (again) to put me ip? (I do feel like she would ask me to come to that hospital if she thinks its bad enough tho) should I stop everything I am doing (very little) to sober up? Should I work myself into ground in order to not have time to drink?
Please tell me your thoughts, I feel like imma be a dead person soon if this doesnt stop,
today I thought about slashing my wrist while drunk, was close enough to do it, since I dont feel fear about pain or anything when drunk…
Also, to clarify, my father knows, but understands now hard it is for me (love him) so he doesnt argue w me or anything. My mother is rly hard to talk to, she will kill me herself if she finds out, and my brother doesnt know, since I drink out of a normal glass so he thinks its a glass of coke (he cant rly smell since covid)

If you have easy access to your psychiatrist and a treatment, go for it.
Good luck!

 

[Thanksforeverything]

If you can access help, then I'd suggest doing it as soon as possible. Alcoholism is a really slippery slope and if you don't catch yourself early on, you're not going to be able to stop the tumble. I've been drinking every day for years now. The only time I'm sober is when I run out of booze and the store's not open yet. I wish I had stopped myself before it led me to making all the wrong choices that I ruined my life with. But I never had the willpower to, and honestly, I think I was kind of being delusional thinking that I was a functioning alcoholic because things hadn't gotten "that bad" yet.

If you genuinely want to get better, I would suggest getting help sooner than later. Your psychiatrist, if you have a good relationship with, would be a great option. They could put you in touch with a rehab facility and introduce you to support groups. A lot of the time it's not really the physical aspect of addiction that prevents us from stopping, but the psychological aspect of it. The cravings, the need to drown out the noise around you etc. These all make it incredibly difficult to reach out for help. Self-regulation is key, but AA meetings and rehab facilities can help too for some. If you're already considering quitting, then you're a step closer to recovery than most alcoholics. I wish you the best.

 

[FujoshiNeet]

Would you ever switch to weed? I had an epiphany yesterday that alcohol has been involved in every major crappy event in my life. I had been in denial, so at least you're being honest with yourself.

 

[hopelesswanderer]

I don't think you're anywhere close to being an alcoholic but you are a "problem drinker". Source: Recovering alcoholic here going on 2 yrs of sobriety. Unfortunately, I only got more aware of how shitty and miserable this existence is when I got sober… hence being on this site.

It sounds like you want to at least try to get sober first and see how life goes, so I would encourage you to do so. In my not so humble opinion there is no way to do it without being honest with your psych and your dad about what's going on and how you want to stop. Tell your psych. Accept whatever treatment they recommend. Throw yourself into it and see how you feel by the time it's over. Tell yourself this - you can always drink tomorrow. You're not missing out on anything. Just see how today goes. If it really sucks and you think it would've been better if you were drinking, then by all means you can always drink tomorrow. My old sponsor used to say that to me daily.

 

[obei]

If you can access help, then I'd suggest doing it as soon as possible. Alcoholism is a really slippery slope and if you don't catch yourself early on, you're not going to be able to stop the tumble. I've been drinking every day for years now. The only time I'm sober is when I run out of booze and the store's not open yet. I wish I had stopped myself before it led me to making all the wrong choices that I ruined my life with. But I never had the willpower to, and honestly, I think I was kind of being delusional thinking that I was a functioning alcoholic because things hadn't gotten "that bad" yet.

If you genuinely want to get better, I would suggest getting help sooner than later. Your psychiatrist, if you have a good relationship with, would be a great option. They could put you in touch with a rehab facility and introduce you to support groups. A lot of the time it's not really the physical aspect of addiction that prevents us from stopping, but the psychological aspect of it. The cravings, the need to drown out the noise around you etc. These all make it incredibly difficult to reach out for help. Self-regulation is key, but AA meetings and rehab facilities can help too for some. If you're already considering quitting, then you're a step closer to recovery than most alcoholics. I wish you the best.

Thank you so much I hope you get better as well and get out of this hell!

 

[Celerity]

I'm getting close to where you are. Life sober sucks. Life drunk sucks too but in different ways. It is not surprising to me that I desire to numb the pain in whatever way I can while I wait impatiently for my deadline. I am cutting myself some slack for this. I hope you can stop drinking and make a better life for yourself. As for me, the booze is a constant companion I don't have to worry about.

 

[DesperateOne]

If you can access help, then I'd suggest doing it as soon as possible. Alcoholism is a really slippery slope and if you don't catch yourself early on, you're not going to be able to stop the tumble. I've been drinking every day for years now. The only time I'm sober is when I run out of booze and the store's not open yet. I wish I had stopped myself before it led me to making all the wrong choices that I ruined my life with. But I never had the willpower to, and honestly, I think I was kind of being delusional thinking that I was a functioning alcoholic because things hadn't gotten "that bad" yet.

If you genuinely want to get better, I would suggest getting help sooner than later. Your psychiatrist, if you have a good relationship with, would be a great option. They could put you in touch with a rehab facility and introduce you to support groups. A lot of the time it's not really the physical aspect of addiction that prevents us from stopping, but the psychological aspect of it. The cravings, the need to drown out the noise around you etc. These all make it incredibly difficult to reach out for help. Self-regulation is key, but AA meetings and rehab facilities can help too for some. If you're already considering quitting, then you're a step closer to recovery than most alcoholics. I wish you the best.

How do you deal with the hangovers, lack of energy, headache etc... I drink a decent amount, but there is no way that I could do it every single day.

 

[hopelesswanderer]

How do you deal with the hangovers, lack of energy, headache etc... I drink a decent amount, but there is no way that I could do it every single day.

I can't answer for Thanksforeverything specifically but generally speaking You don't get "hungover" when you are an alcoholic, you are in a perpetual state of drunkenness of varying degrees. Headaches diarrhea shakes sweats etc come with it and usually happen if you can sleep for more than a hour or two but once you get that next drink in you it all goes away. Life as an alcoholic is going to bed at 1 am and waking up at 3 am, 5 am, and 7 am to violent cold sweats and shakes, hopefully you've got enough left in the bottle to make it thru the night cause that's the only way you get back to sleep each time. Wake up, shit/vomit, take a couple shots, back to sleep, rinse and repeat. Lived it for 6 yrs which isn't that long but by god felt like an eternity. Waiting outside of the liquor store at 9 or 10 am for it to open, shaking and throwing up on the sidewalk.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

How do you deal with the hangovers, lack of energy, headache etc... I drink a decent amount, but there is no way that I could do it every single day.

I don't really have severe hangovers. My hangovers typically only consist of mild nausea and a lack of appetite at best. And that only started very recently for me. When I was younger, I could literally go weeks drinking non-stop and wake up the next day and go to work without even thinking about repercussions.

I do have some withdrawal symptoms when I quit drinking for a while such as getting the shakes, night sweats, and awful circadian rhythm but it usually doesn't last longer than 3-4 days.

My reasons for not quitting fully are essentially because I don't think I could tolerate living if I wasn't drinking. But on the flip side, most of my reasons for wanting to CTB can also be associated with the fact that I kept up this drinking habit and in the process torched my life to smithereens.

 

[DesperateOne]

I can't answer for Thanksforeverything specifically but generally speaking You don't get "hungover" when you are an alcoholic, you are in a perpetual state of drunkenness of varying degrees. Headaches diarrhea shakes sweats etc come with it and usually happen if you can sleep for more than a hour or two but once you get that next drink in you it all goes away. Life as an alcoholic is going to bed at 1 am and waking up at 3 am, 5 am, and 7 am to violent cold sweats and shakes, hopefully you've got enough left in the bottle to make it thru the night cause that's the only way you get back to sleep each time. Wake up, shit/vomit, take a couple shots, back to sleep, rinse and repeat. Lived it for 6 yrs which isn't that long but by god felt like an eternity. Waiting outside of the liquor store at 9 or 10 am for it to open, shaking and throwing up on the sidewalk.

I don't really have severe hangovers. My hangovers typically only consist of mild nausea and a lack of appetite at best. And that only started very recently for me. When I was younger, I could literally go weeks drinking non-stop and wake up the next day and go to work without even thinking about repercussions.

I do have some withdrawal symptoms when I quit drinking for a while such as getting the shakes, night sweats, and awful circadian rhythm but it usually doesn't last longer than 3-4 days.

My reasons for not quitting fully are essentially because I don't think I could tolerate living if I wasn't drinking. But on the flip side, most of my reasons for wanting to CTB can also be associated with the fact that I kept up this drinking habit and in the process torched my life to smithereens.

Thank you for responding, I appreciate it. My father was an alcoholic, so It's interesting to see from you two what kind of life he was living and what he was going through every day. I remember him waking up at 3 AM - 4 AM quietly going into the basement to get hammered. That's the only thing that I knew him for in my childhood and his constant arguments with my mom. He tried to hide it, but we all knew from his eyes when he was drunk or not. My dad is sober now and I'm happy for him, but I feel like it's kind of late. I understand why he was drinking (obsessive narcissistic mother and a dad that left him + life stuff), but I needed him when I was a child and was suffering. I think if he was a big part of my life I wouldn't be where I am right now.

Tbh, I honestly wish that I could be drunk every single day as a way to cope. I can down 6 beers, but I will usually feel like absolute shit the next day with a big headache and vomiting. I guess I'm just weak in that regard which honestly might be a good thing...

 

[Thanksforeverything]

I honestly wish I could be drunk every single day as my way of coping. I can down 6 beers and I would feel like absolute shit the next day with a big headache and constant vomiting. I guess I'm just weak in that regard which honestly might be a good thing...

All of our bodies react differently, so this might not be as effective for you but here's how I get through withdrawal or at least the physical aspects of it when I have to quit for a second due to work.

Before Going to Bed:

Eat a meal high in calories and carbs. Avoid greasy food. Ginger recommended
Drink 0.5-1L of water before bed
Take a melatonin pill

After Waking Up:

Wake up and drink 0.5-1L of water
Take vitamin and mineral supplements
Nausea pills if necessary
Antacid if necessary
Antihistamine if necessary
No acetaminophen. No NSAID's if possible
Take proton-pump inhibitors(Esomeprazole/Omeprazole) 30 mins before meal
Urinate as often as possible to flush toxins. Hydrate constantly. Sip on a cold drink throughout the day until stable condition. Gatorade/electrolyte drinks if possible.
Take a shower. Groom.
Moisturize well to avoid dry skin and lips from dehydration.
Use deodorant to avoid sweating
Have meal throughout the day based on appetite. Maintain steady levels of energy. Smaller meals more often recommended. Oxidant-rich ingredients recommended.
Take probiotic supplements if possible
Light to moderate exercise throughout the day. Avoid high-intensity workouts.
Take a melatonin pill before sleep.
Get 6 hours of sleep minimum even if quality is poor due to intermittently waking up from impaired circadian rhythm.


Rinse and repeat day after process for 3-days and follow-up from there.

 

[obei]

How do you deal with the hangovers, lack of energy, headache etc... I drink a decent amount, but there is no way that I could do it every single day.

For me, I dont really deal with hangovers anymore. I just cant sleep at night, and am thirsty as hell, but other than that I dont have much symptoms