H
H0110W
Member
- Sep 22, 2021
- 71
Now that I'm committed to ending my pathetic excuse of a life within the end of the year, I've been reflecting on how did things get so bad.
I am coming to the conclusion that at some point within the last 5 years, I've somehow managed to die inside.
At some point, all I could feel was sadness and regret, and I was very isolated. I had many people who cared about me, loved me even, but as I was dead inside, I could no longer feel any happiness, and even when I felt it, it didn't feel any good. In fact, when I felt happy, deep down I wanted it to stop.
It all makes so much sense when you realize you are a walking corpse, a kind of zombie.
A zombie would not want to be happy, it would be painful even, just as it is for me. The happiness would just come to an end and then it will turn into a painful memory.
What would a zombie want in his non-life if not to stop shambling around and just fucking die once and for all?
All I feel is anger, sadness and regret. My existence is completely and utterly worthless. I am nothing and nobody will miss me.
I am coming to the conclusion that at some point within the last 5 years, I've somehow managed to die inside.
At some point, all I could feel was sadness and regret, and I was very isolated. I had many people who cared about me, loved me even, but as I was dead inside, I could no longer feel any happiness, and even when I felt it, it didn't feel any good. In fact, when I felt happy, deep down I wanted it to stop.
It all makes so much sense when you realize you are a walking corpse, a kind of zombie.
A zombie would not want to be happy, it would be painful even, just as it is for me. The happiness would just come to an end and then it will turn into a painful memory.
What would a zombie want in his non-life if not to stop shambling around and just fucking die once and for all?
All I feel is anger, sadness and regret. My existence is completely and utterly worthless. I am nothing and nobody will miss me.