Help I am alone and no one understands...ready to go (plz respond)

[Cinnabun1112]

This looks like a safe space to share some of my poetry. I don't know if any of you will relate but I really need some support as I am dealing with a new diagnosis of C-PTSD from a very abusive relationship I was able to get out of. Now I am just a shell and the closest I've been to suicide.

A paperweight
Just a paperweight
That's all that I am
Useless to man
Useful when needed
I don't trust barely anyone. I don't feel my angels(guides). I just feel empty. Devoid of life. Tired of everything. Do I work? Do I pop pills and sleep? Can I handle everything? No, I can't.

I am going insane. Harley Quinn insane. Sometimes I'm super paranoid other times I couldn't give a fuck. How would I answer to God?

Where is Sophia? Where is my wisdom? Where is my guidance? My conscience? i currently believe I'll probably be a mother that can't take care of herself and therefore loses her kids and husband.

I don't belong here. People and family have made that clear.

Thanks I guess

Dearest blank, I let you inside naively. Now you have almost full control and there's not much I can do to fight.
I have been dealing with severe treatment resistant depression for four years and anxiety. I once had a will to live and now I have had enough. I don't self pity I just know when enough is enough.

 

[cryptic_cynic]

Thanks for sharing. I like your poem. Sorry you are suffering. Sorry I can't offer anything helpful, since I can't even help myself.

 

[Cinnabun1112]

It means, more than anything, that you responded. Sometimes we just need reinforcement. Such a sad community and the funny part is it feels like home. :/ I don't know where I am headed or what I will do but I am here to support you and others. I appreciate you taking time out to respond.

 

[Letmego. Please]

Hey, sorry to see you going through so much pain, i am not much use but will always listen. (((Hugs)))

 

[Cinnabun1112]

Listening is a huge gift to offer....I think that makes you of great use :) Thank you ((hugs)) I am here for you as well

Hey, sorry to see you going through so much pain, i am not much use but will always listen. (((Hugs)))

 

[Dubs]

You're alone together with us and lots of others out there suffering in solitude.

 

[Cinnabun1112]

You're alone together with us and lots of others out there suffering in solitude.

You're right. I never thought joining this forum would finally make me feel welcome even if it's cyberspace.

 

[sadbunny]

So interesting, keep writing, I like it!

 

[freemefrompain]

Beautiful poem I've always really loved literature. I am always here if you need someone to to talk to or vent too.

 

[Cinnabun1112]

Beautiful poem I've always really loved literature. I am always here if you need someone to to talk to or vent too.

So interesting, keep writing, I like it!

The support is overwhelming thank you so much. I will continue to share as I write and hopefully people will continue to relate through writing and not feel so alone. Please reach out to me for support as well :)

 

[Letmego. Please]

@Cinnabun1112

I am very pleased to see you have found the support that to me at least, is the most important part of this place.

Im not sure if we have a poetry thread yet in the off topic section, if not please feel free to start one, you will soon be joined by others.
There is also a Share your art thread in the off topic section that might interest you.

And welcome to the best virtual mad house on tee interwebby.